I have mentioned before in my several posts that from the past few weeks I am kind of feeling lost. Lost means, I literally don't know what I am going to do, what I want to do. My dreams are scattered almost shattered because of so many reasons. I won't say my dreams are broken, not at all, I still have time to recreate, rearrange my dreams but how, when, I don't know.
I am having/facing the biggest transition period of my life, I can feel the change honestly speaking. Now, I don't know where to start.
Anyway, this is life and I think everyone faces this type of situation in the beginning.
I was trying to relate my thoughts with the lifecycle of a beautiful butterfly. From egg and caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly, it has to go through 2 phases of life, basically, it has to face the transition period knowing that anything can happen. It might die or its life can be stopped while having a transition. But the caterpillar or cocoon never stops dreaming to flourish itself to a beautiful colorful butterfly.
Does it make sense? Maybe...
It's 2020, at the beginning of the year, I had made many new year's resolutions which are almost useless now. My all plans ruined due to pandemic and made me directionless. Is it a cursed year? Many people asking that. I still don't know whether it is a cursed year or not. In the middle of 2020, I am thinking about what exactly I wanted to do and what I have done.
The answer is ............... Nothing....
I am very sensible and passionate when it comes to thinking about my life decisions, I have taken so many risks to fulfill my dreams. Am I broken? No, I am not... My thoughts are now shady and unclear. That's all...
Every day I wake up in the morning thinking about what to do, I stopped making plans, schedules because it doesn't make any sense to me. I write in my diary almost every day but it is full of thoughts and dreams, nothing more than that.
Every day I hold the same coffee mug and take a sip of my coffee, I look around, see people, and feel the sunlight. What else, there is nothing new exactly... Every day the same routine, the same lifestyle kind of isolated lifestyle.
I am habituated with this life, nothing excites me nowadays, same people, same talk, the same logic, and same opinion, nothing new. It seems like I already knew what they will discuss, what they are going to say...It seems like universal words or sentences, they are just repeating every single day...
I wish I could draw some geometrical forms of my thoughts, it is possible if I try. I think I can give an abstract form of my thoughts. The question is how I am gonna represent it because my thoughts are cracked like a destroyed old road...
I am feeling like I am in the vast sea, trying to swim, or learning how to swim. My thoughts are not destructive which means there is a chance that they can be beautiful. My one decision can change my life, my one step can take me to the moon or to the ground. It depends on me, my decision...
I can't ignore my thoughts, if I start ignoring, I won't be a human anymore, just like I can't ignore cigarettes knowing it's harmful to health but I am addicted...
I never took drugs, I never smoked weed or never tasted meth/ crystal... I had a chance to taste this sort of stuff but I didn't, my ethics. Though once many people thought I am on drugs or taking some kind of drugs... LOLLL...
That's the mentality of people, they just judge and assume and gossip...
Anyway, I guess I am addicted to feeling lost and I know I will find a way how to swim and cross the sea...
It will take some time, that's all...
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"I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily..."
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Original post written by @priyanarc
Hmmmmm... that doesn't sound good. Maybe it's time to go out make new friends? Or... present a challenge to your current friends so that they start thinking about different things?
Been there, done that. Sad but true.
All I can say it's complicated and hard to define...
I think it's time to make new friends and meet new people... Time to change the circle...
Otherwise, I will be crazy soon :P
You mention a partner, are you able to be together now that Covid restrictions are being lifted?
I don't know because the rules of every country have been changed. In fact, still, now the airport is not fully opened and the UAE still haven't opened their airport for everyone. Only internal transportation is opened... So let's see..
Wishing you the best, Here is a quote from a YouTuber I follow
One step at a time
One thing at a time
One Day at a time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that you remember my status because nowadays nobody remembers anything.
Thanks a lot once again for such motivational words...
Always looking to have and pass on positive thoughts. Do you follow @pixiepost? She has some awesome positive spiritual post.
Of course, I know her, she is an awesome HIVER...I will check her post, I do it often but recently I haven't checked her posts... I will check her post today...
That's really sad to hear @priyanarc. Just wanna tell you that don't take any wrong steps, just keep you mind calm and do what your heart says.
Thanks, bro, it's just a bad time which will go away very soon...
Yeah that's for sure. Be brave
Thanks bro for sending me good vibes...
Don't thank me instead help atleast 3 peoples whose been in the same situation 😃
Hello dear friend @priyanarc
I think you are pushing yourself too hard, you have accomplished so many things, you are an incredible and intelligent woman, live life as it appears, do not rush you have a life ahead of you.
I encourage you, do not let yourself fall, you have many reasons to be proud.
Have a beautiful night and a happy rest
I think I should take a little break from everything and just do stuff that makes me happy. I don't see any other ways right now because sometimes it's hard to explain parents. And because of this COVID, everything changed drastically and the situation seems out of control I mean there is nothing I can do...
You are right, maybe I am pushing myself so hard...
Hopefully I will be able to find peace soon...
Maybe it is the most convenient, that you rest a little, you have done something that you have never done and it always caught your attention, a dose of emotion usually comes in very handy in these cases, do not press yourself so much dear friend @priyanarc. You have accomplished many things, that perhaps other people do not even dream of.
I get it, perhaps I need a little bit rest and slow down. It's not the correct time to be confused and I should take time before taking any further steps.
You are like my soul sister, I can not only relate with what you are saying, I can also feel it within me, this is is myself presently and even worse, I was meant to go study for Masters in University of Illinois by this June......its all a different story now.
Well, actually it's hard to explain and many people are suffering due to COVID, in fact, you know that your and my plans are ruined and you don't have any idea when you gonna be able to fix everything...
I hope soon you will find a solution...
Living is the first step, surviving, thats why we must hold on to ourselves as much as we can because anything and everything can fail, but we are all we've got, ourselves, our friends and families, both far and wide. Thats one thing the social media was meant to do for us rather the big tech companies turned it to their cash machine and mind programming tool. I hope Hive will have a chance at reshaping things, helping people build real connections
I agree with you though right now for me, social media is the only option to connect with my family knowing disadvantages. Obviously all companies, programmers are doing business and many people are abusing social media as well. Well, I hope too that hive will help us to build real connections...
Take care girl, be strong!
You too...
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