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No idea either.

Sorry to hear so much pain on your part. You do make good points, though the language could use some sanding to smooth. I think your conclusions are fairly reasonable and hope you can find peace in the practices you suggest for yourself. I also believe you make some good suggestions about applying your suggested approach for others to try.

For myself I find that when I set asside the anger and rage and allow my passions to focus my thoughts into actions, I find a serenity in the small achievements I do manage. I also believe that simply by doing 'you' as you have done with this post you are having a bigger impact than I suspect you give yourself credit for. Even with the rough edges I find your willingness to even try encouraging and uplifting. Hearing that others share some of my own perspective continually gives me hope that we might actually survive and eventually thrive as a species.

Keep up the good fight
Blessed be.