Good grief

in #hive-17457820 days ago

I have been feeling listless lately, lethargic and relatively negative considering my general baseline - it could be the heat or it could be any number of other things that are currently weighing on my mind. What I do know is that regardless of the feeling, there are things to do and things I want to do - if I was in a better mood - so I may as well do them anyway. Some people can't perform unless they feel good about performing, but in my opinion, moods come and go, but we only have one chance at now before it passes us by forever.

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This doesn't mean that I am going to perform at my personal best however, it just means that I aim on moving forward, even if it is only by inches at a time. I try to take care of the mundane low-risk tasks when I am in the worst moods, because I know that I won't be at my best, so low cost for being wrong activity is the way to go. This isn't always possible though as I can't always choose what I am doing in every moment and sometimes it is imperative that I perform well.

At these times I try to remember that moods come and go and tomorrow is another day. This isn't just a reminder that I have an opportunity tomorrow, it is that today still counts toward the outcomes of tomorrow and throughout a lifetime, all of these inches add up. Life is either death or success by a thousand cuts, where the death are cuts on us and success, cuts by us through the jungle of life. While we remember the highs and lows, most of life is played in the mid-ranges, small percentages won and lost.

While the highs feel great, it is more often than not the lows that support our mindset through the middle, that helps us develop and build our default position. Many people suffer the lows and become wounded for an eternity by them to the point they are a subject to blame, a reason why one cannot do, cannot be. Others are empowered by the lows as they see the survivor in themselves, the power they have to be able to persevere through the pains and come through the other side, stronger and more capable than before, a better version of themselves.

The person who strengthens under pressure is antifragile, improved by the pain and has more resources to invest when times improve, when the lows are passed and the mid-range opportunities are available to ride into the highs. A little attention, small steps, inches clawed in the mud compound for an out-sized ROI on the investment once conditions are more suitable. Habits that survive the lack are habits that benefit from the plenty.

At some point soon I will lose my father and a person I care for a great deal, but the grief I may feel will not be of the type that will consume me, it is good, it will empower me. I already know this, as that is my default mindset - positive or negative, both are energy resources and energy can change forms, but not be destroyed. Some use negative energy to become a victim held in place, some use it as a springboard that propels them forward. The energy doesn't care how it is used, only we do.

An inch forward is an inch closer.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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We all enter into the feelings of listlessless my friend and I can't give you a fancy answer like don't worry about it. You know that it comes and goes on it's own.
Like a toddler, at times we crawl, at times we touch things and we break them, other times we cry and the opposite is also true.

Those that say this walk in life is easy if we only do this or that don't know what they are talking about, as what may work for a few might not work for millions of others.

All that I can say to you is to endure this temporary spell and soon you will be up and running again!

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Those that say this walk in life is easy if we only do this or that don't know what they are talking about, as what may work for a few might not work for millions of others.

We all have a different set of tools available to us and as you know, some are more trained on how to use them than others. As a result, two people under identical conditions can have very different results. I have visualized this way since a kid - my dad and I can have the same paints, same brushes and same canvas at our disposal - yet very different outcomes.

Exactly and thank you for the good descpription. I can use it to strengthen my identical twins argument, as even they are different.

The mistake is that so many life coaching authors consider their audiences as identical beings. We should all do this or we should all do that?

The secret as you say is to teach each person how to use their own set of tools!

The mistake is that so many life coaching authors consider their audiences as identical beings.

Then there are the real life coaches who say, find your own path.

Yeah, those are the good ones and I know a certain person on Hive 🙂 that gives others great advice, I think his name starts with a "T", but cannot remember the full name of the bugger 😄

Btw. Thank you kindly for the "Engage" things.

Yes, our mood can be disturbed from time to time. At such times, I take care to spend more time with my little daughter. My daughter reduces the negative energy on me.

I wish you happy and energetic days.

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kids are a positive energy force on the world - though at 3am, sometimes it is hard to tell :)

I can proudly say that I am a survivor but most of my lows have left wounds other than empower me. This is something I am working to change as I embrace healing as I go.

You on the other side await grief with a positive outlook... I can't wait for such inner strength to sweep my soul off its feet. You inspire even in your lows :)

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I figure that life goes on until it doesn't, so may as well look to have a good life while I can. What a "good life" is, is very much open to interpretation, but I don't want to have to look back and justify my experience to suit.

Life can suck and be very painful - but need we suffer? Suffering is in the mind.

Life is either death or success by a thousand cuts

I chuckled at this because it is so bloody true but ludicrous at the same time lol. What a choice, huh? Yeah I get very contemplative when I have these mood funks and lethargic spells, funny thing I never, ever beat myself up for them anymore... I used to, you can imagine what a mood enhancer that was!!!

Sometimes we have to accept the cyclical nature of life, mood and everything else that goes along with it, maybe if we surf the wave of that experience often enough we become a proficient surfer and learn the best ways to navigate such times.

It seems the near to midterm holds challenges of the toughest kind my friend. You seem to have a grasp on how it will be, of-course we are never quite right but with such things being in the right ball park can be the difference between 'sink or swim.'

You appear to have a somewhat more enlightened approach to life than most. I am certain that stands you in good stead for being able to cope when times are tough. Wishing you all the very best for more 'blue sky thinking' and contentment with your progress in life.

An inch forward is an inch closer.

Abso-bloody-loutely! People always look to the mountain peak before embarking on their first training session. Incremental changes are all it takes to be better tomorrow than today.

I was hoping to comment on your Re-Quoted idea. (but heading out for nightshift). It's epic I love quotes and the whole idea of a repository of sorts, resonated massively.

Hope the weekend is awesome for you and yours Taraz :D

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I forget to put these in my comments :D

funny thing I never, ever beat myself up for them anymore... I used to, you can imagine what a mood enhancer that was!!!

Maybe it is in the realm of "practical maturity" - know enough about life, one understands that life isn't all flowers, and that's okay.

of-course we are never quite right but with such things being in the right ball park can be the difference between 'sink or swim.'

I think that the ball park means that when we inevitably have to adjust, we don't have to move that far. The work now makes the future gaps smaller.

Incremental changes are all it takes to be better tomorrow than today.

Spread them out across a range of influencing factors and you have a compounding approach that supports world champions.

It's epic I love quotes and the whole idea of a repository of sorts, resonated massively.

I wish I could code!

Enjoy the weekend mate.

One of my all-time favourite books is 'The Compound Effect' by Darren Hardy, somebody I quote reasonably often in my posts too, incidentally. It basically speaks of ideas that are certainly not new but makes them a little more dynamic and analyses the end results of these tiny ongoing changes over time. From the way you think I would not be the least bit surprised if you know it already.

His examples are as seemingly insignificant and mundane as not taking a handful of M&M's from the bowl on the reception desk at work each day and tracing the effect that would have over 6, 12, 18, 24, 30 months and translating this in to potential pounds earned or deferred. Many struggle with results they cannot see today, tomorrow or the next day and so often decide that delayed gratification simply doesn't work. However they will develop bad habits and bad health via the exact same model... Wow!

Hope you and yours are doing well Taraz :)

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I have never heard of the book, but I did fail accounting at university enough to learn about compounding effects. For me, I use them in my training business to speed development and change.

Many struggle with results they cannot see today, tomorrow or the next day and so often decide that delayed gratification simply doesn't work. However they will develop bad habits and bad health via the exact same model... Wow!

Incredible isn't it? We are wired to favor the present feeling over the future probable feeling. Ask a resonably athletic 15 year old if they want to be fat, they will likely say "no way" - see the same person 20 years later and ---- what happened?

Hope Monday wasn't too rough on you :)

listless and lethargic:
Two good words for today for me, you could add in mind numb this morning.
I awoke that way today, I woke up and was still tired, and felt like my brain was fried or scrambled. I did manage to get some of my morning routine done such as voting, but when I tried to think, to respond to post to make meaningful comments well...like I said brain felt fried, 12 hour after waking up though things are sort of back to normal. It just took a long time to inch my way forward.

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I sometimes wonder what causes these kinds of "fuzz" periods, is it a virus our body fights off or is it hormonal triggered by a mood or a food we have eaten? It may be impossible to discover in the moment, but observing over time could hint toward possible likely candidates. For example, eating sugar will affect mental ability, doing it consistently might have irreversible consequences - yet, people worry about getting fat.

It could be food related, but my diet does not change often, I have a pretty simple diet. I am just glad it does not happen often, maybe once a month. Having diabetes I do watch the carb/sugar intake. Probably visited one store to many yesterday, and got wore out from it.

It's okay to wallow for the count of 5 (or whatever time you feel is appropriate) before working on getting over it :)

I can't count high enough sometimes :D
I think I just need some space - or some air-conditioning.

That's why you pick a number or a time limit ;D

Guess you haven't managed to make your own spaces yet with the renos going on? And is air conditioning a thing that's going in?

Ry, I can confirm that AC will be installed...Or G-dog will melt!

In 30C? Don't come over here in summer then XD

Although having said that all our hot summers seem to have bailed out over east and we've only been getting half-arse summers.

In 30C?

Their houses are triple glazed and often the bedrooms don't have opening windows. A week of 30 degree days in a row and no airflow makes for a very hot interior. It was the same in the UK on the same trip...No air flow in a thatched roof converted barn B&B doesn't make for pleasing sleeping conditions. I think you might need to experience yourself to fully understand my comment.

Also, everyone is different. I get hot if it's over 22. In South Australia we often have 45-47...But with air conditioning it is tolerable.

And now I understand everything.

Well not so much the triple-glazed windows as I don't think we have too m any of those here, I have previously lived in houses that were hotboxes in summer (and this was when it was nice balmly tropical weather and not even summer proper).

Did you take our summer weather and add it to your own? That temperature is slightly obscene.

Adelaide always gets Perth weather as that's the way the wind blows. So we know what we're going to get a couple day prior, unless a front pushes up from the south.

Good luck finding air con in the UK you would be lucky to even get a fan, if our properties were cool in the summer what be able to moan about, us Brits love to suffer and tell all and sundry about it.

As I said, there was none. I ended up buying a fan at Tesco and using that until we left. We left the fan at the last place we stayed as we were flying to Finland. My brother ended up hooking me up with a fan there, but it was so bloody hot regardless. We get very hot temps here, but it's tolerable with Ac or fans...No fans, no air movement, doesn't make for a very happy G-dog.

Ah yes, you poms have a reputation for whinging. After going through a summer there, I get it. Lol. I was a whinging Aussie.

You are right, I should actually create a default response - I have the 3 second rule for dropped food, so I guess it will have to be above that :D

I think it is more mental space - I should write more :)

Air-con will go in, but it will be in the fall at the earliest, so won't be very useful by then. Though @galenkp and Faith will be happy next summer.

Get that AC in! I almost died last time in those blistering Finnish heatwave days of 30 degrees!

Should be well and truly in by then - but let's see where you will sleep ;D

Lol. Basement.

The coolest area by far at the moment. Not even the dirtiest.

An inch forward is an inch closer.

Walking an inch a day, over a year we overcome more than 9 meters.

Stay strong!

They all add up :)

I felt something similar yesterday. Then I read a couple of good things about consistency and why doing little by little daily adds up to big things in future.

I mean half of our emotions are negative, the other half are neutral and positive.

So, feeling a little bit off more times than feeling good is normal I think.

A good quote I read yesterday was amazing. Outlast the lucky ones and outwork the lazy ones. This got me going and I ended up writing an article about it.

Guess we need some motivation and some action in our lives every now and then.

Outlast the lucky ones and outwork the lazy ones.

That is a pretty good quote! :)

Guess we need some motivation and some action in our lives every now and then.

The trick I think is that when inspired, start moving - as procrastination sets in fast and the memory chooses to forget.

That's right. Have a good day sir.

Yep, moods are transient. The goal is a monument.

Like clouds in the sky, they come and go.

I know where you are coming from fella, iv'e been having some real down in a hole moments recently but if you look hard enough there's always a ladder close by to get you out of it. Once out you can use that ladder to get on with some of those jobs on the house:)

Once out you can use that ladder to get on with some of those jobs on the house

These are the manual and brainless tasks I take care of :)

Hope you are well.

I'm all good fella, it's been a while since we chatted, how's the resto going.