I have a bit of a challenging week ahead, as since this is the start of the year, there are company-wide and specific department kickoff sessions and because the company is global, the schedule is set for the evening to allow for more people to participate at some kind of "normal" time. This isn't the challenge, as it just means some later nights, the problem is that I have customer deliveries booked (before the kickoffs were planned) for during the days, so it ends up being 3x 12 h days back to back. Not really what I had hoped for, especially since one of my deliveries is very challenging. Of course, with the amount of people working at the company and the distribution, there were bound to be a number of clashes encountered.
I think that for me, it is all the various types of meetings that are the worst thing about my employment position - I am probably not alone in thinking this way. If I had the option, I would just spend my days on training prep and delivery, rather than having to do all the other company-centric stuff. Although I am not too bad at bringing perspective and some direction to the conversation, a management role doesn't interest me in the slightest at this time, as there is far too much organization involved and I am more of an ad hoc creator.
The other day I had a session with some kind of psychologist that work has provided and she was asking how I manage stress in the workplace, with the answer being by writing. While she was fine with this, what she didn't quite understand is how much time I actually spend writing and how I write under all kinds of conditions. While "tired" has been an enduring state since the start as I began after the birth of my daughter and was getting about 2 hours of broken sleep a night, I write in different states too. Yes, I have written drunk, but I have also written several times with a very high fever, after fighting with my wife, while my daughter was in hospital, after people close to me have died, when angry, frustrated, happy and a hundred other variations.
The therapist asked why I would write when I felt bad or was sick and I found it strange - Why wouldn't I write under negative conditions if it is something that I feel helps me cope?
I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
_ Jason Bourne
Okay, I am nothing like Jason Bourne, but I do think that in order to know ourselves, we need to test ourselves under all kinds of conditions, as if we only act when conditions are good, we won't be doing much, most of the time. Writing for me is part of the testing functions, which lets me process experience and observe my mind in the process. There have been times of course where I have found the conditions too challenging and haven't posted, but "failure" is part of building success.
I think that it is because of this approach that I have been able to consistently write across topics with a fairly high degree of quality and standard. I definitely don't think that I have always been able to do this - it is training.
Now, I am a trainer myself and have been in some capacity for almost as long as I can remember - well, since I was 18 - so that is almost 24 years. My first real foray into training was at McDonald's where I became a crew trainer as soon as my starting probation was complete. The reason I took it wasn't for the 30 cent an hour payrise, it was for the cap. It was much nicer than the open top one that required a hairnet. Yep, I got into training because of a hat.
What I have learned over the years is that while people like to spend their time doing what they enjoy and are good at, the people who are the best at what they do are those who have practiced and experimented with their skills under all kinds of conditions, no matter if the immediate result was good or bad. Like Jason Bourne knowing how he would perform, they knew their skill to the point that no matter what was thrown at it, their reflexes would kick in and not only react, but react consistently well.
Doing what you are good at is great, but unless you are pushing the boundaries of your skill, there is no advancement in it. This means that in order to improve, there has to be a constant introduction of discomfort and one way to do this is to introduce it to different states of the body and mind. It is like playing golf in the sun, rain or wind - not that I play golf.
But as said above, failure happens. And when it does, there has to be another process in how to cope with it, as well as the fallout from failing itself. It isn't easy to take criticism and wear the blame, but it is sometimes necessary and avoiding activities where this can happen means to become more affected by failure at increasingly low levels. While conditions play a role, so does conditioning and we can be conditioned or condition ourselves to be better or worse, to react well or poorly. The difference between isn't just luck, it is training.
What I find interesting is that people generally know this and actually practice it in various ways in their everyday lives, yet don't necessarily practice it in the things that matter. A gamer enjoys the increasing challenge of levels as they improve at a game, a person who goes to the gym enjoys the increase in strength or stamina, so keep pushing harder. Yet, when it comes to the things that affect skills that can earn, people rely on "talent", as if that is enough to compete at the top of an industry.
The problem is that the feedback in tradeable skills is often not as clear as it is in the gamified world of gaming or gym exercise and much of the challenge in relation to others is not transparent. As a software trainer, there are many points I can focus on in order to improve my range of skills, but if I only spend my time where I am comfortable, the value I offer clients is going to be narrow. Too technical and I lose engagement, not technical enough and I lose practical application. Currently, I am still not as knowledgeable on the technical side as I should be, which is why one of the deliveries is going to be difficult - but hopefully my personality will make up for it.
From what I have observed, people are less willing to fail publicly than they were earlier and I wonder if it comes down to the way we present ourselves online. Firstly, there is the curated content we deliver to our audience, giving the best angle of us at all times. Then there is the far greater ability to learn in private from courses on YouTube and the like, so practice is down out of the public eye. And in this same vein, there is the ability to "always be right" for those who think intelligence is Googlable and no matter the argument, there is a study of some sort to support and refute it.
This means that we don't have a lot of practice of being "wrong". Of course, this doesn't mean we are not wrong, it just means that we have the support so we don't have to admit it, at least to others. This then lowers the opportunity to develop the personal mechanisms to deal with the social ramifications of not getting it right.
Vince Lombardi said, Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect and this includes the practice of dealing with failure publicly and personally. A lot of people fail and then give up, not because of how they look to others, but how they feel in themselves. They identify with the failure, making themselves the failure and once in that position, it is very hard to find the motivation to try again and change the conditioning, because changing "who you are" is near impossible. This is quite true - but changing what you do is pretty easy.
It just takes practice.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
You should get in touch with the people of Masterclass and offer them a course on how to give testimonials. I think it would be great and a top seller!
So many different things affect our approach to failure. Society has been built upon this idea of success being the only road to thread. And if we look back, this iteration of society has been built of so many failures and it is still being changed and evolving. This doesn't mean it will be good, but that's why we can record things that happen so future generation may learn from our mistakes.
Practice is so important as the brain gets adjusted to stuff by repetition. Yesterday, I had a chance to give some advice to other participants of a course I'm soon to finish on how to play certain regional rhythms is Maracas. I came late to the class, but found out that everyone was stuck asking the same thing over and over. I think it was a relief for the teacher to see me connecting. And I went through the same points I got from a workshop I took some years ago and my experience playing the thing on my own with recordings because to this day I haven't played the thing with other musicians in social event. But I could tell everybody what were the points that might be frustrating about learning the particular rhythm and how to tackle the problems that arise with tempo and patterns.
On the other hand, I have never learned to dance because I don't go to many events which require me to have this skill and when I have had someone try to teach, it is as if they could not get things clear as to teach basic steps and such. Maybe I get too technical with the way I like learning stuff, but I like building things and that's the best mechanism for my brain to get a hold of something new.
Getting out of the knowledge bubble is important if we want to be better at the things we do. As new information and methods pop up every minute, we can't give ourselves the chance to miss them. Also we can't miss the chance of failing to grasp something. I love when I fail at something because it gives me an important lesson and the chance to go back into my knowledge pool and see what's missing, tackle that problem and come back better and ready to try again.
I suspect that there have been far more failures than successes - and perhaps this is the way it has to be. When we narrow the attempts, we fail less, but we also succeed less.
Dancing is really interesting (for me) and I live in a place that is quite technically orientated and rule based. So, (especially men) learn to dance patterns, but often fail to take into consideration their body position, lead, music and even less often, their partner. This means that they go to social events and are essentially dancing alone to a different beat.
They do say, "dance to your own drum" - but that doesn't work very well for couple's salsa :D
People focus on what they are comfortable with, even if it is to their own detriment.
It doesn't for sure. I have seen that and I can tell when someone is off-beat with those things. In the same way I don't know how to move to do that, so I refrain from it.
Learning dancing has to be do with a partner, otherwise you never grasp the mechanics fully.
Yes, less risks involves less rewards.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.So well said, and so many great points, @tarazkp. I find the idea very interesting that we quit earlier. There are so many reasons why this might be true, in my mind. Maybe it’s because we all feel as though we live in a fish bowl in this social media-driven world. Or we have taken so seriously the notion that we have rights and freedoms (which is another topic I’m dwelling on) that we feel justified and free to do whatever we please, including just quitting anything that’s uncomfortable. We have become a judgmental people. We feel free to judge and incriminate others, and don’t want that spotlight turned back on ourselves. And the number of options for skills and life pursuits is so plentiful that we can cast out any of them and shift. That is another thing I mull over - the notion that a world of opportunity is healthy and wonderful until it makes us feel privileged, over-stimulated, wasteful and unfocused. Much to think about.
I always enjoy reading your posts and they always make me ponder!
Oh, you have hit on something here for sure! I feel there is plenty of this - the entitlement to do nothing but want it all.
Spoiled for choice. We have become frozen, playing games at nothing, pretending that it is meaningful, while what is meaningful in us withers away. There is so much opportunity for us to improve ourselves and our world - yet we sit idle.
Thank you for taking the time to add thought into a great comment.
!ENGAGE 40
ENGAGEtokens.Yes, exactly. Spoiled for choice. Good way of putting it. It can be absolutely paralyzing. And I think in a simpler world, where the choices amount to what to do to put food on the table, there is less despondency and depression. I recall reading about a remote village somewhere that was deemed one of the happiest places on earth. And they had so little. They just hunted, gathered and lived.
Yep, the poorest places seem to be the happiest. also, they tend to have the strongest social networks.
The writing during those conditions I would expect takes your mind off of the pains or feelings. This is something people that do not have a history of trying to manage pain do not understand. I know when I start to feel bad, or to experience a lot of pain again, I do what ever I can to distract my mind from the pain.
It doesn't matter how a person feels when it comes to getting the job done, not every day is going to be a perfect day, sun shining a light breeze and a nice temperature, sometimes it rains or is cold. It is during the adverse conditions we learn who we are and what we are made of.
At times - but most of the time it lets me give them space to feel them fully. Does that make sense? Normally I am too busy to acknowledge everything, but writing slows life down.
I should collect some of my stories I have put on the chain, as I think many are around this topic.
It makes sense to me, I just sometimes need something to do so I don't dwell on issues.
And yes with all your post you would have a good set of references to build a good story along.
If a therapist is asking that kind of question I sometimes wonder if they are genuinely wondering why or if they want to see if you know why, if the latter then it's not a strange question XD
Yeah, but they aren't "that kind" of therapist. It definitely isn't the my therapist said" kind of thing, it is more about introducing various tools to cope with workplace stress and is quite formulaic.
I'm sure you've mentioned it before but I never caught it. Do you snap your cover images yourself or are those free images? The style is generally the same, abstract more or less, but you make'em your own—I know who's they are when I see them.
They are all my images. I like being able to add as much of myself in as I can and photography is one of those streams I enjoy :)
Figured. Just verifying. Very cool sir.
Writing is therapeutic. It definetely helps. And I think that it's a healthy way to cope with stress.
A lot of years spent as a trainer. You must have nerves of steel.
!ENGAGE 10
If everyone wrote a few paragraphs a day, whether anyone read it or not, it would change the world.
Nerves of steel or, no nerves left =)
It would. I admire your power to withstand to so much pressure of dealing with people. I am more of an introvert and prolongued social interaction especially with people I do not like leaves me exhausted. So you're a trooper.
Being able to perform activities that we’re passionate about in the midst of adversity is certainly a huge challenge! And for me, being in the proper mood for writing when lacking motivation and inspiration is one of the most difficult situations I try to overcome. While each one of us has different approaches when dealing with these types of scenarios, I sometimes struggle to train myself when stumbling into these traps. Perhaps it would be truly helpful if you could share with us your trusted sources of empowerment (mental, emotional, or spiritual) that could also energize us in moving forward despite all the obstacles? Any other valuable tips or advise?
Yeah, I think I could give some pointers (from my perspective) o how I approach these things. I have stuff all over the place, but I should probably do some collation and editing on day :)
No worries, thanks for your insights!
Nice post bro
Nice comment bro
Still said sarcastically
ENGAGEtokens.