BOOK REVIEW CONTEST IN FEBRUARY. LOVE OR DEPEND.// Walter Riso.CONCURSO DE REVISIÓN DE LIBROS EN FEBRERO. AMAR O DEPENDER. Walter Riso.

in Hive Book Club3 years ago

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Cómo superar el apego afectivo y hacer del amor una experiencia plena y saludable
How to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience

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SINOPSIS

Entregarse afectivamente no implica desaparecer en el otro, sino integrarse de manera respetuosa. El amor sano es una suma de dos, en la cual nadie pierde.

La adicción afectiva es una enfermedad que tiene cura y, lo más importante, puede prevenirse. Este libro pretende ayudar a aquellas personas que son o han sido víctimas de un amor malsano y guiar a las parejas aún no contaminadas para que sigan trabajando en la sana costumbre de amar intensamente y sin apegos.

Giving oneself affectively does not imply disappearing into the other, but integrating oneself in a respectful way. Healthy love is a sum of two, in which no one loses.

Affective addiction is a disease that can be cured and, most importantly, can be prevented. This book aims to help those who are or have been victims of unhealthy love and to guide couples who are not yet contaminated to continue working on the healthy habit of loving intensely and without attachments.

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AMAR O DEPENDER


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El amor es un sentimiento universal, siendo el motor de todas las relaciones humanas, cada ser lo expresa bajo diversas circunstancia y a través de la ayuda de elementos motivadores la mayoría de las veces, sin embargo hasta que punto el amor es gratificante para los seres, esta es una de las grandes preguntas que nos aclara el libro de walter Riso titulado: Amar O Depender, ciertamente somos personas auspiciadas por el amor pero este muchas veces se vuelve adictivo al punto de dañar al otro.

Ahora bien dentro del libro es increíble leer como el autor nos describe el amor en estas lineas: El amor es una experiencia peligrosa y atractiva, eventualmente dolorosa y sensorialmente encantadora. es decir como toda circunstancia de la vida el amor no queda excepto de ser arriesgado y en ocasiones la manzana prohibida que todos queremos probar, que no debería ser dolorosa y que sentirla es uno de los tantos placeres de la vida. Creo que esta definición es la mas certera que he podido encontrar y se ajusta a lo que de verdad es sentir amor.

Love is a universal feeling, being the engine of all human relationships, each being expresses it under different circumstances and through the help of motivational elements most of the time, however to what extent love is rewarding for beings, this is one of the big questions that clarifies the book by walter Riso entitled: To Love Or To Depend, certainly we are people sponsored by love but this often becomes addictive to the point of harming the other.

Now inside the book it is incredible to read how the author describes love in these lines: Love is a dangerous and attractive experience, eventually painful and sensorially enchanting, that is to say, like any circumstance in life, love is not except for being risky and sometimes the forbidden apple that we all want to try, that should not be painful and that feeling it is one of the many pleasures of life. I think this definition is the most accurate I could find and it fits what it really is to feel love.

El libro nos plantea que siempre esperamos que nuestra media naranja sea fiel y altamente amorosa, pero hay amores que se vuelven adictivos al punto de lastimar sentimental y fisicamente a la persona que se dice querer, olvidando que expresar este sentimiento es simplemente dar sin ahogar al otro, se trata de bailar juntos con la misma libertar, sin sentir que nos pertenecemos rotundamente.

Walter en su obra Amar o Depender nos vislumbra qué es la dependencia y cómo podemos desarrollar nuestra autonomía para abandonar estas relaciones que el denota como tormentosas, este autor es psicólogo especializado en terapia cognitiva y ha escrito cantidad de libros sobre dependencia afectiva y autoestima, pero este texto uno de los más populares, porque nos da la clave para superar la dependencia emocional a la que nos adentramos en nuestras relaciones amorosas, se trata entonces de superar el apego, a través de la madurez emocional.

The book tells us that we always expect our better half to be faithful and highly loving, but there are loves that become addictive to the point of hurting sentimentally and physically the person we say we love, forgetting that expressing this feeling is simply giving without suffocating the other, it is about dancing together with the same freedom, without feeling that we belong to each other categorically.

Walter in his work Amar o Depender shows us what dependence is and how we can develop our autonomy to abandon these relationships that he denotes as stormy, this author is a psychologist specialized in cognitive therapy and has written many books on emotional dependence and self-esteem, but this text is one of the most popular, because it gives us the key to overcome the emotional dependence to which we enter in our love relationships, it is then to overcome the attachment, through emotional maturity.

analicemos algunos extractos claves dentro del libro:

“En cualquier relación de pareja que tengas, no te merece quien no te ame, y menos aún, quien te lastime. Y si alguien te hiere reiteradamente sin mala intención, puede que te merezca pero no te conviene.” es decir, en el sentimiento que alberga la palabra amor no debe haber daño moral ni físico, porque si lo hace claramente te envía el mensaje que no te merece, dado que por encima del amor de dos existe la integridad propia que debe estar por encima de todo.

“Amar no es anularse, sino crecer de a dos. Un crecimiento donde las individualidades, lejos de opacarse, se destacan.” de esto se trata no es solo apegarte a un cuadro de patrones, no es segarnos, negarnos, justificarnos, olvidar nuestra esencia o simplemente idealizarnos, si no de valorar las diferencias, respetarlas y potenciarlas.

“Todo esfuerzo por aferrarnos nos hará desgraciados, porque tarde que temprano aquello a lo que nos aferramos desaparecerá y pasará. Ligarse a algo transitorio, ilusorio e incontrolable es el origen del sufrimiento. Todo lo adquirido puede perderse, porque todo es efímero. El apego es la causa del sufrimiento.” esta es la frase clave de este libro, sin duda alguna la mayoría de la relaciones están marcadas por el apego, ya que no resistimos a perder a esa persona aun cuando estamos conscientes que son relaciones toxicas en todos los aspectos, trayendo como consecuencia sufrimientos prolongados, a eso se le agrega que te enferma, castra y emocionalmente te desgasta, por lo tanto debemos tener presente que de una u otra manera que pese a nuestra necesidad de mantenernos en relaciones obsesivas todo es pasajero, así que la final estaremos en la culminación de esta relación incluso con un final trajico.

Let's analyze some key excerpts from the book:

"In whatever relationship you have, you don't deserve whoever doesn't love you, and even less, whoever hurts you. And if someone hurts you repeatedly without bad intentions, he may deserve you but he does not suit you", that is to say, in the feeling that the word love harbors, there should be no moral or physical harm, because if he does it, he clearly sends you the message that he does not deserve you, since above the love of two there is the integrity of oneself that must be above all else.

To love is not to cancel each other out, but to grow as a couple. A growth where individualities, far from being overshadowed, stand out. This is not just about sticking to a pattern, it is not about mowing ourselves down, denying ourselves, justifying ourselves, forgetting our essence or simply idealizing ourselves, but about valuing differences, respecting them and empowering them.

Every effort to cling will make us unhappy, because sooner or later what we cling to will disappear and pass away. Clinging to something transitory, illusory and uncontrollable is the origin of suffering. Everything acquired can be lost, because everything is ephemeral. Attachment is the cause of suffering. "This is the key phrase of this book, undoubtedly most of the relationships are marked by attachment, since we do not resist to lose that person even when we are aware that they are toxic relationships in all aspects, bringing as a consequence prolonged suffering, to that is added that it makes you sick, castrates and emotionally wears you down, therefore we must keep in mind that in one way or another that despite our need to keep us in obsessive relationships everything is temporary, so the end we will be in the culmination of this relationship even with a tragic end.

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considero que este libro ayuda a entender que no debemos aferrarnos a las relaciones de pareja lo que muchas veces se da por la necesidad de afecto o seguridad que queremos tener, ademas de ello la lectura nos muestra esa falsa idea de que por la pareja se haría cualquier cosa, que el amor es eterno del amor eterno, pues resulta que no debe ser así que a amarse es construirse mutuamente.

El autor te enseña que ese amor idealizado es una ilusión de fantasía, es dificil aceptar lo que el plantea pero al final acabas comprendiendo que por desgracia, así es.

Así que los invito a vivir el amor sin apegos, en libertad,sin daño moral y físico, pero sobre todo con pasión. recordemos que siempre habrá alguien esperándonos para ser felices.

I believe that this book helps us to understand that we should not cling to relationships, which often happens because of the need for affection or security that we want to have, in addition to this, the reading shows us that false idea that for a partner we would do anything, that love is eternal of eternal love, it turns out that it should not be like that, that to love each other is to build each other mutually.

The author teaches you that this idealized love is an illusion of fantasy, it is difficult to accept what he says but in the end you end up understanding that unfortunately, it is so.

So I invite you to live love without attachments, in freedom, without moral and physical harm, but above all with passion. let's remember that there will always be someone waiting for us to be happy.


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