Living in Awe
For years I've felt that I'm living like I always dreamed of living; I looked in the mirror and saw the man I always dreamed of being. Right now, however, that feeling changed and I'm living beyond my dreams. It's not that I've accomplished everything I've ever set out to do, that's not my case or anyone else's, but I can now say that I've accomplished things I never thought possible or imaginable. They're fairly simple things like listening and seeing more, experiencing emotions more deeply and peacefully, exercising more discipline in general, but I've reached levels that I genuinely didn't even hope for.
Last Thursday I went to another Talking Circle with (nearly) the same participants and it was all about Attention and, therefore, about Intuition and Purpose. I always carry a few of my carvings around as implements and the leader of the Circle chose to place a couple of them (the ones you see in that picture) on the table that functioned as the Altar. In the end I was asked to pull a Rune for each of the attendees and for the entire group, and I felt so joyous, so blessed to be able to do that in a group of powerful practitioners like that. I was humbled in the extreme by their acceptance and their beautiful words of inspiration and gratitude in the end. Then on Saturday I attended another Biodanza session and this too felt like such a wonderful gift, because it was themed around Kuami Kiachi, an expression of the Wottüja (Piaroa) people in Southern Venezuela which literally means "Fortitude of the Heart", the capacity and necessity to accept the circumstances as they are rather than resisting them. There were three moments that were critical for me during this session: first, we were asked to take a walk through the space while recalling the times in our lives where we were forced to accept what was going on rather than struggle to change it, which allowed me to personally confront several life-shaping situations in my past; second, we were asked to kneel on the floor with our hands firmly grasped behind our backs to signify oppression and, as the music progressed, to slowly stand up, release ourselves and move around, signifying self-given freedom; lastly (and this one probably the most important moment of all,) we were asked to hold our inner babies in our arms, to caress and kiss them, to give them Love. I saw myself as a child in my arms with such clarity... and I felt so deeply thankful for being me, for having the opportunity to live this.
I also had great talks with old, beloved friends and the sensation of being held by the Universe, of being protected and exalted, is only growing stronger and stronger. I'm privileged to be here on this Earth, in this country; to be able to do the things I do, to know the people I know. My happiness just continues to increase and I'm in awe of it.
I am once again an adolescent but also an adult. Older women censure my conduct in silence, without intervening.
Limit, opening, expansion. Evolution is not only possible but also inexorable; you are now crossing a boundary of your being and, although painful, consider that emancipation is guaranteed. Educate yourself on the lines of your ancestry, on the pillars of your identity. No connection is broken, its resonance merely declines, but it can be reignited at another time, patience. Cultivate inner silence, keep the calm in turbulent times, every noise chides an honest truth, every shadow conceals an immanent light. Solitude can be an opportunity instead of an ordeal, it all depends on your mentality. Study your habits and norms, question or confirm their usefulness.
What powerful experiences you describe here! I'm sure that doing the rune reading for people who are spiritually evolved was a great honor for you; it gives you a more objective and tangible perspective of who you are now. On the other hand, the biodanza, being able to express your whole being using all the dimensions of yourself must have been something great.
I like what you have written here today:
Masterful, as always...
I thank you wholeheartedly for your support, dear! And for your beautiful comments. I'm profoundly stirred and honored by what I'm living right now and this platform and the people I've met here, have been a big part of that in the past year or so. Blessings!