I had always dreamed of having a space that I could call my own, one that was open to anyone who could respect the atmosphere and that didn’t feel like a business. We rented this place for about $100 usd a month and tried to turn it into a paradise. It only lasted a year but we did just that.
We shared our own culture. Our culture was not that of a specific country or religion or subculture, although it is influenced by everything that it touches.
Our culture is gentle unless provoked, as equal as can be, and inviting to anyone who is as eager to give as they are to take. We try not to put pressure on anyone to be anything other than what they desire to be. There is no pressure to act a certain way as long as you make an effort not to impede on others, and to communicate your dissatisfactions peacefully. Money and power take the backseat to connection and self development. That’s not to say we all want to accept poverty. It’s more like we all aim to be so awesome that money will find us naturally.
You are free to do whatever you want, so long as you aren’t forcing anything upon someone else or being destructive to our peace. You don’t have to feel bad about saying no or not joining in what everyone else is doing. If five of us are drinking and one wants to read a book, that’s just fine! Anyone can pick up a guitar or a drum at any time, and the rest of us are free to listen or not to listen. If someone is being too loud we just calmly ask them if they could play quieter. We can all come and go whenever we please.
We all may carry some stereotypes or biases, but we do our best not to judge individuals based on them and try our best to meet halfway where we can understand each other and reconsider how we see each other. No one is bound to the culture that they came from, but if they wish to share what they love about it, we welcome them, so long as they understand that others have their own perspectives.
We don’t need to agree on everything. We talk about what we disagree on only when we think we might be able to bring about some more understanding. We won’t keep pushing if the other person is not open and respectful. We can let some things rest.
When we listen to music, we really listen. When we talk, we also listen. We really make an effort to feel each other. We invite only those who know how to respect others boundaries and dignity. If someone who doesn’t show respect comes, we first try to lead them by example. If that doesn’t work, we may confront them about their behavior with a soft tone. If that doesn’t work we try ignoring them to let them know they are not welcome. We’d only get aggressive if someone seemed to intentionally want to cause suffering to others.
There are no leaders but we all aim to be able to lead when the situation calls for it. We help each other to get there rather than trying to dominate. We share what we can but put little pressure on others to sacrifice more than they are willing to.
We have no name, there is no way to define who is in and who is out. It's something you can just feel. And if you are mistaken, you will figure it out sooner or later.
That is the culture of me and many of my friends. I can point to particular influences but it is ours. We created it. We are European and American and Asian and African and Oceanian. We are whatever we are. We just are. Many of us relate to each other more than we relate to our own families (despite various backgrounds) but we always keep a line open and allow our families and other friends to slowly understand us and the culture we are building if they wish to.
We allow everyone to decide for themselves what is right and wrong, and only preach through how we live our lives. We only ask for respect.
This was one of many spaces where I’ve helped to cultivate this kind of culture with others. It was the first that I was directly responsible for, and at the center of. It’s gone now but the lessons we learned, the relationships we built and our culture is still alive and well, even if most of us are no longer living in the same city or even the same country.
I am here sharing it with you now.
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Here is a tiny glimpse of our space:
A friend from out of town smoking out the window. Some of us smoke and some don’t so smokers will stay near the window or go outside.
Music was the most important thing about the space. Our greatest expense was good new speakers. Most of the music we played was experimental, meditative or ambient. Folk to electronic but it was usually something we could get lost in.
That desk was usually used for painting or sewing.
The table on the left was my work space, it’s where I started at Steem and wrote some of my first short stories, some of which are on the way to becoming novels. The big wooden table was usually for tea and food, though we often ate outside. I would take a break and lay on the carpet which had a thin mattress underneath
We always had enough beer to party. We had a pay-what-you-want system so anyone could take drinks any time but we wouldn't end up losing money by always paying for everyone's drinks. No one took advantage. If they had, we'd probably say "hey...you don't have to pay a lot but don't take advantage of us". Half of our friends did not drink alcohol. I usually just had one or two.
See why we chose this space? How could we not? It was perfect. We had barely enough money to survive at the time, but we couldn't let this chance slip away. We don't regret it at all.
A beautiful sunset almost every single day, reflecting off the water.
A friend had a tattoo studio below us and our friends would often intermingle and become one big party on two floors and the outdoor balcony below us. I can't remember what that night was but I believe we had friends from out of town and so did she so we all ended up talking really late into the night and having a mini-dance party. I think there were around 12-15 people in total.
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Wow! This was such an amazing read, even more with this track by @wizardzmusic playing in the background. What a place, sounds like heaven on earth.✨