Are social media public-pics-declarations of love better? Are they now socially required?
Are synthetic plush toys, chemical roses & exploitative transfat chocolate really loving?
Is our love irrelevant if it isn't socially accepted or publicly declared?
If I make sure my baby is delivered on Valentine's Day, does that publicly & unequivocally prove that my marriage isn't wobbling badly and ensure that we will always live happily ever after?
If my expressions of love don't make a monetary profit for anyone, is my love still real?
Am I diminished as a loving, sensual woman if I am not publicly owned nor claimed?
Is my relationship any less valid if I don't wear a blood diamond?
Perhaps the simple, unspoken, private love between two souls which smoulders and burns quietly and is never defined nor constrained has the greatest integrity and will outlast them all.
Originally published in part as a facebook post by myself 2 years ago. Still wondering.
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Was it Valentines Day? I like to think it's LOVE month.. or LOVE year.. without the schmultz. Just realness.
Let there be more realness!! 💛
I am developing a profound allergy to all occassions Hallmark.
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Pfft, I don't even notice. We don't bother with it at all really, like Halloween. Even Chrissy is a stretch.
I tell you what though, you should see the poor restaurants and florists suffering here as the premier called a snap 5 day lockdown. My favourite meme is this one:
Plus, been immensely enjoying the Betoota Advocate of late. Far better than the real news.
https://www.betootaadvocate.com/breaking-news/report-plastic-servo-rose-should-do-it/
https://www.betootaadvocate.com/uncategorized/local-woman-doesnt-even-really-care-about-valentines-day-anyway-because-its-actually-just-a-big-marketing-ploy-and-should-we-really-be-letting-romance-and-love-be-hijacked-by-commer/
LOL... how very Australian! 🤣
I did have to chuckle at your use of the possessed, matrimonial "we" as in "we don't bother with it."
I have NO SYMPATHY for florists who peddle toxic chemically raised commercial flowers, just as I have no sympathy for starbucks or johnson & johnson.
I guess I was ruminating more about being publicly claimed and owned... NOT a fan!! LOL. eg people who endlessly talk about 'my husband". Does the custodial other half not even have a name? 🤣
Dutch people have strong views even on name changes. It's hyphenated and yes, it changes after the death of the spouse too, to acknowlge widow-hood.
Interesting times. And so much change. Marriage is a straight up commercial contract in much of Asia and increasingly rejected by most as superfluous. Most Thai couples retain separate finances. In fact, having to pay for my printing today i get to send it to his wife's bank. LOL. But they all still buy into the romantic western valentine dream of being publicly claimed.
More pondering next year, I promise. LOL.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.ENGAGEtokens.Like many things, I believe for some it can become a case of keeping up with the Jones's. Hubby has never been great at remembering dates, so in our 28 years together, I can only recall one time when he surprised me with a typical Valentine's gift a few yeas ago. In our first year or two together it used to upset me a bit when I saw what others would do or get for Valentine's Day, but I soon realised we expressed our love throughout the year in ways which showed our love and appreciation for each other better than a gift we didn't need on a particular date. In fact that gift of a teddy and perfume sits unused, because it's not my sort of thing and it reaffirmed that it isn't for us. We prefer the gestures that remind each other that we know each other and our likes and dislikes well.
It's one of those many occasions which seem to serve to make some people feel like they aren't invited to the party.
You nailed it with that last line - the feelings people have about being not enough, excluded or not worthy and not invited to the party. How easily that is exploited for commercial gain, no?
I, too, find the whole Valentine thing strange. Not my thing at all.
But then you ARE claimed publicly by being married. 😉 I see so much doubt in people who don't have that social stamp of approval.
To be that woman at the margins who loves secretly, quietly, privately? That's a different thing altogether.
!ENGAGE 25
It took us 14 years to get married and that was more to keep relatives happy than anything, before we moved to Australia. For us, that piece of paper didn't make a single bit of difference to our commitment to each other. It did, however, make the immigration paperwork a bit easier. So yes, we did end up conforming to social approval in the end.
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ENGAGEtokens.