As a few of you who follow me probably know, I have a bit of a soft spot on my penis for pocket knives and just knives in general. However, for some reason none of you fucking losers have made any cool communities for everyday carry gear or knives, so I decided to be the ultimate alpha chad and make one myself. Welcome to Knives, a community for posting anything related to bladed objects. I'm aware that some people might not be feeling themselves gush from the loins over the topic of knives/pocket knives, since some people think that even a chewed on piece of plastic with jagged edges is something only a sick fucking murderer would have. But, just try to keep discussions civil and chill if you find yourself an anti-knife person. I'm all for open dialogue, but if I see things turning into a shitshow then don't be surprised if I slide my pants down and spray shit on you. Anyways, feel free to start posting if you're interested!
Now, onto the good shit. I had a birthday about 2 months ago, and received some birthday money from my fiancee's brother. Of course, being a responsible adult, I decided to take the $70 I got and put it towards getting myself a new pocket knife. I've been in and out of the knife game for the past few years, mostly because the prices have become fucking stupid for even basic bitch pocket knives. A knife that went for $40 4 years ago is now going for $80 without any changes to materials or production. It's pretty aids, to be honest. Nevertheless, I'm still a sweaty slut for pocket knives so I figured, fuck it. Lets look around and see what I can find for a good deal.
And, god damn, what a deal did I end up finding. After browsing around on BladeHQ, I found a cool little knife from a company that just came into the view right before I stopped jacking my dick off over pocket knives back in 2015, called Rike. It appears that they've gotten decently popular over that time, and this particular knife model called the Hummingbird is one of their most popular knives. Which isn't that surprising, since material wise, it uses a damascus blade with titanium hardware, handle and pocket clip. Those are pretty top tier materials for factory produced knives, so normally it wouldn't be surprising to hear the price of $135. However, that kinda made my penis flaccid in this instance. Why, you might be asking? Well, mostly because this knife is the perfect size if you've had your brain transplanted into a cat.
On the other hand, it does make sense that the cost would be so high when there is good quality machining work put into this small pocket knife with high end material. But, I originally was going to just say fuck that shit because I'm a broke bitch and only had a small amount of birthday money to play with. Buuut, I stumbled across some comments on reddit talking about how these knives go on sale on massdrop/drop once or twice a year. And, low and behold, they actually had these on sale when I went and gave it a check. Instead of paying $135, I got away with paying an extra $5 out of my budget and walked away with it at $75 shipped to my doorstep.
The Hummingbird came with a little metal tin, a kydex neck sheath and a little pamphlet to try and make me feel like I have a 500 IQ for buying one of their products. Packaging wise, it was heaps better than what most companies sell their knives in. Normally you just get a soggy little cardboard box with a piece of paper that feels like it's been rubbed on an old mans elbows for 2 hours, and rarely do they include a sheath for your knife. Though, I'm pretty sure that was something that had to be included here considering the size of the knife. I mean, do you want to trust a pocket clip that's the size of a paper clip to keep an object worth $135 from falling out onto the ground while you walk away, only to use your tears as lubricant later on that evening when you realize it's gone?
Functionality wise though, the pocket clip feels pretty solid. The knife flips wonderfully smooth as well, something that really surprised me. I figured it would feel like raw sewage was stuck inside of my knife when flipping it, just based on how small the flipper tab is. Oh, and aesthetic wise I would say this is probably one of my favorite knives I've ever owned. You can pick this up in a few different color options. Plain Ti, Gold, Pink, Blue and Green. You get blue hardware for pretty much every option, but different accents on the edges depending on what anodizing you pick. Since I went with green, apparently that means I get a purpleish ano on the edges. Meaning that this knife would be the perfect object for The Hulk to tuck under his testicles in case of emergency.
Overall, for the $75 it cost, I don't think this knife could be beat in quality. Love the look, and it's a really fun little knife to flip open when I'm feeling all ADHD. Obviously this isn't a heavy duty user knife since it's so small, but would work well as a little backup knife or as a gentlemen style edc for weddings/funerals/etc. A bonus is that if I ever decide to try and sell it, I'll definitely be able to get my money back out of it. Which is really nice since you usually get two fingers slid up your asshole by some stranger on reddit or instagram when you're selling off used pocket knives.
But, yeah. Do any of you have a knife or a shovel you've turned into a spear home alone style that you'd like to show off? Feel free to drop a post in the community then :) I look forward to it even though I'll probably be the only one to do so here and there. You fucking virgins.
Until next time, dood's.