You know, with my obsession to look cool in everyone's eyes, I did ridiculous things that I regretted later on. One of the things that I thought would make me look cool is to be a man or just act like a man. I always thought being a man was really cool, but because I can't do anything to change my gender, acting like one is what I can do. I know it's absurd and crazy, but I did it anyway, lol.
Ever since, I always feel envy whenever I see a man who can do anything they want. They are much stronger than women, and I want that kind of strength. I want to be invincible, so no one will touch me or bully me. Well, I am not really sure why I even think of it. But I think one of the reasons is that my mom (Auntie) is a tomboy. She's a woman who acts like a man, and she's really cool.
It's like she influenced me to do this, but it is partly what I want. She didn't even tell me to act like a man, and I just found out that she's doubting my gender because of the way I act. But I am really not, I just act this way because this is what I'm used to, but I am 101% in love with men, lol. Anyways, yeah, I just love to act tough in front of everyone so that no one will belittle me.
The first thing I did for this operation, "Be like a man," was shave the hair in my underarm. It happened during elementary days, and I just heard that when you shave your hair somewhere on your body, it will grow more hair once it grows again. So, because of my plan, I started doing that. I find it weird having more hair on my underarms, but men have that, so I need to have that.
And that's just the start of my ridiculous plan. And just like a man, whatever a man will do and have, I will have it too. I started to act like a man, and I started with how I walk. You know that, like a "Siga" sa kanto, and I am so overacting doing that, lol. But then later on, I perfected it too. I don't have to be o.a., I can do it smoothly, and I already adapted it until now, lol.
And while waiting for my underarm to grow more hair, I also started shaving the hair on my legs, from the top to the button. I still remember using my papa's Dorco blade for his beard. And I am just sneaking it because he might get mad at me, lol. And because Mommy's (Auntie's) house is a few steps away from my biological parents' house, she never learned about these crazy things I did.
All I want is for the hair to grow more thickly, like super kapal sana, just like what a man has, lol. And that wish did come true. That's why, as the saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for," because it can actually happen. And now I have to pay for this ridiculous wish that I made in my childhood days. I hate myself, and I feel like having more hair on the underarm is actually a curse.
I know it's solely my fault, but I was just being a kid before. And I am regretting it now! If I can turn back time, I will never ever do that again! EVER! But you know what? It didn't stop there, because I found another way for me to look more like a man. I thought I would look more like a man if I had a moustache. Oh God! This is really embarrassing, hahaha! "I hate you self!"
I also regretted doing that because I had to suffer for a long time. Every time I take a bath, I feel pain on that part of my face, on the upper lip of my mouth. I think that's because I shaved the baby hair that was protecting that part of my mouth. And it would hurt more if I used head and shoulder shampoo, lol. Eh diba, matapang yon masyado, lol. Argg! My ridiculousness!
This is the only way I know to make me look more manly, aside from acting like one. Although I regretted it, reminiscing about it all like this is quite fun, lol. I have these memories that I can look back on when I get old, like how absurd all of my ideas are and how I actually make them happen.
This is my entry for week 4 of the contest in HivePH with the theme: Childhood Recollections. I had fun writing this because I had time reminiscing the past.
Omg parehas tayo sis. My father really wanted to have a son fortunately, 4 kaming girls and ako yung halos ginawa nyang lalaki. Tagabuhat ng mabibigat, taga butingting ng kung ano ano kaya lumaki akong siga at nanununtok.
Hahahahaha ang kulit dun sa part na nanununtok hahaha.pero same nanununtok din ako hahahs ang saya kaya makita ng mga mayayabang na classmate na nababahag ang buntot sa harapan mo jajajaja.
Hmm, I wax my legs because the hair grow slower and thinner. Yeah, I was kind of different too in my peer. I play video games while they play their barbie house haha!
You so cute, Ruffffy~
Ehhhh, ang sakit noon huehue, dati inaahit ko yonh sakin kaso nag stop na ako matagal na. Bahala kung mag mukhang lalaki binte ko hahaha. Masaya naman kasi talaga laro ng mga boys diba haha
Hahahha grabe naman ang obsession mo to be like a man @ruffatotmeee kasi shinave mo na ang lahat hehehe. Im boyish too back then peru hanggang sa kilos at sa damit na suot ko lang ako nag siga sigaan hahaha.
Hahahaha kaya mga ee ewan ko ba wagas na obsession na areh hshshs. Any naiisip ko lang talsgs non ee dapat mag mukha akong cool sa kilos at sa itsura hahaha
Hanggang saan aabot ang pagkagusto mong maging manly? Hahaha
Reading this made me laugh! 😂 Silly Ruffatot!
Don't worry, we all did silly things when we were kids.
Hahahahaha, wala na stop na dun. Ayaw ko ng sirain pa ang aking sarili hahahaha
Medyo boyish din naman ako nung kabataan.ayoko nilalagyan ng ipit ni mama..tinatanggal ko yun 😂
Hahaha yang ipit buti nalang di ipit ginagawa sakin tirintas naman haha
I can relate, there was a time din sa childhood days ko na gusto ko palaging naka cap tapos yong lakad ko iniba ko din, mga grade 4 ata yon.
Lakas kaya maka astig kapaG parang siga ka maglakad HAHAHAHA
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Waaaa Rufffaaa! I love your picture when you were still a kid!
Astig
Hahaha salamat, wag ka makulit yang version ko na yan.
Hahah. May pagka boyish ka pala nung kabataan niyo po buti nagbago paglaon.
Till now naman ee ahahaha pero mas girl na now ahahaha
Yay! 🤗
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Whoa! We have in common miss. Since elementary I act like a boy and dress like a boy. I also think that it's cool. Not until I got in college, someone changed me. Haha. Anyway, kapal ng buhok sa legs mo. Huhu
I never dreamt of becoming a man but I like their style in dressing and the way they walk. It's simple but cool for me, so I imitated it until it became a habit for me until now. Hahahaha.
So heto tuloy ako naghahagilap ng pwede ipost sa theme na to hahahaha.Ang kyutieee mo nung bagets ka pa, naalala ko ung ganyang hairstyle ng hair usong uso dati kaso kulot kasi ako nyan eh.