I had a big heart-to-heart with an old friend. Spent a whole day on th ...

in DBuzz3 years ago

I had a big heart-to-heart with an old friend. Spent a whole day on the phone but he made my psychological problems sound easy to solve. He presented the solutions I already know but found hard, in a hopeful way: I'm eager to try them!

He should change jobs to a counselor!

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What was his solution?

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Not easy to describe, for short he just changed my perspective.

  • He told me that it's natural that will-power fails, I always thought my will power was lacking.
  • Since I beat myself too much, he made me think of the incentive/reward instead of what will happen if I failed.

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Told me why productivity methods don't work for me and advice me of one that might work, ever heard about Pomodoro method? ...Wait, this could work as a great D.Buzz post!

Wait a few minutes, thanks for your question by the way!!

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In general, how I help those who ask for financial support from me is through highlighting the positives while acknowledging the negatives, both in their present situation and their life in general. 🤔

@ahmadmangazap

should change jobs to a counselor

That is what people normally tell me when I used to help them with almost everything, but since the past few years, I get discouraged by that statement whenever they asked for financial help too. 💸😢 Their request for help being valid or not however is another topic. 🤔

@chrisrice

Haha! I know how that feels, it's said to me too sometimes and I only said this to/about my friend jokingly, I don't think he should be a counselor, I just think that if he was, he'll do a good job at it.

Also: #Financial help?!

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Yes, financial help. 😐 While we can theoretically freely give unlimited advice, we can't give unlimited money to those who ask for it. 💸😰 I'm not a politician or a rich businessman. 😒

Only few people in the entire world who are qualified to give such advice, and even then the failure/loss is on the one who asked for it, not them!

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Even when you visit a doctor, you are not paying them to fix you! You are paying them to actually take time to see what's wrong with you, then do what they can to make you better. It's not their problem if that didn't fix you!

Same with money counseling~

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I tried helping other people have better control of their money through practical, helpful, and relevant free advice, but instead... I... they... you know... literally asked for money instead. 😨😰😔

We have a saying in Libya "If your friend is honey, don't lick all of it." We say it when someone takes advantage of someone else's sweetness kindness...

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You remind me of @mehmetfix who shares Turkish sayings (such as "drop the poisoned arrow" which literally means "it's obvious, but still surprising if said"). 🤔😅

https://peakd.com/@mehmetfix/re-savvyplayer-2021323t195111558z 👈

Let me analyze, replacing "doctor" with "financial advisor"... 🤔

Even when you talk to a financial advisor, you are not paying them to increase your wealth! You are paying them to actually take time to see how they can increase your profits and/or reduce your expenditures, then do what they can to actually implement what you should do with your funds. It's not their problem if that didn't increase your wealth!

I understood your statement a bit better~

😆😁

Yup!! 10/10 Good student!
Though most of the time, I feel like I am your student~

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Oftentimes, I get offended when a person forces me (usually through repeated questioning) to give them (free) advice, and then tells me soon after that I would be liable for them in case they followed my advice and it led them to negative consequences. 😑

I know firsthand the feeling of "you offer your hand, but they take your entire arm". 😣

@chrisrice

Please don't misunderstand my comments like that as me asking for financial help so that I "can help them further", like @chrisrice thought I did here. 😰