Another music project to share.
Guaranteed some of y’all will like it more than I do. Lol.
My relationship with music and creativity has been a weird thing. It’s all flowed incredibly differently than I’ve wanted and hoped.
In the last decade, I’ve probably completed about seventy projects - maybe half of which are actually pretty fucking dope. Though, to sit down and try duplicate such masterful results I dig at will... yeah, doesn’t happen like that.
I was nearing ready to give it a break, having hit more bouts of frustration when trying to push myself to produce when not feeling it. Though, somehow ended up back at it this last week, picking at a few ideas casually. This was one of the results:
In some odd way, I don’t like it. Lol.
Somehow, it seems too basic and boring to me. Compared to some of the other masterpieces I’ve made over the years and/or the type of stuff I’ve really felt drawn toward making, this type of stuff seems like kindergarten shit.
Yet, there’s still some reason & purpose to having taken the time and energy to have completed it - if for nothing else than the experience of making a decent finished product in only a few short hours. (Compared to the usual of dragging out for weeks with others.)
It’s interesting, too, how I so often feel as though I’m a total beginning with each new project.
Despite the fluency in skills developed over the years and all that experience under my belt, there’s usually this sense of starting from scratch all over again with every project.
Though there’s also this weird sense sometimes - as with this jam - of intimate familiarity. Like, part of that “boredom” I feel with this particular beat somehow stems from having played the same guitar chord progressions a couple decades ago. (One reason I’d put the guitar down is having felt like I’d reached the limit of where I could take it - versus the multidimensional of production and capabilities of composing much larger masterpieces than one instrument is capable of). Or that there’s just too much about it that’s been done before, in some variation or another.
Even despite it sounding good, there’s this sense of let-down or disappointing sometimes in expending energy in producing something I’m not 100% into. Yet, there’s the paradox of needing to bust past those points that occur with pretty much any musical project, as I would (and have) easily stop(ped) myself way too early on cuz it wasn’t blazing mad fire out of the gate.
The emotional waves (of the 12-22 channel in my Human Design) can fluctuate so quickly, that even over the course of a single music project such as this that takes no more than 3 or 4 hours, I’ll be back & forth between digging it and not. Nonetheless, I’ve been through alot of dysfunctional loops with all that before, and it seems as though simplifying things and pounding out a less-than-perfect beat just for the fuck of it might be worthwhile every now and then.
And hell, even if this particular jam goes nowhere beyond the dozen or so sets of ears that listen to it here, maybe there was something gained in the process of its creation to take forward into the next that’ll make it flow more smoothly, sound better, and be a more enjoyable endeavor - and so forth, and so forth.
So yeah, there’s my commentary rant.
Without further ado, enjoy... 🙏🎧⭐️
(And if there happen to be any audiophiles with killer systems/headphones who’d prefer to listen via high-quality WAV file rather than the shittier downgraded version of the stream from YouTube above, feel free to download here)
⭐️🙏🎧
I upvoted your post as I think it is some quality creative work. Keep it up @rok-sivante! (Automated message)
I think it sounds pretty good. I think I can understand what you are saying about how you aren't quite sure about it. I know that you hold yourself to a pretty high standard. I kind of see what you are getting at with the post too. It feels like long straight road kind of. Not a bad road by any means, but very "safe". Does that make sense without it being offensive?
An interesting interpretation.
Long road, ya. Feel a bit confused by the “straight” part though. Actually been more like a fucking rollercoaster trying to navigate the fluctuations of creative flows and accompanying emotions - especially with all the time having tried to force it in incorrect timing.