This was such a real and straightforward post that I appreciated and resonated with.
I have been a witness to this group conformity since I was in grade school…because I too was apart of them. I had to always belong to a clique at school. We had rules to follow and if someone got out of line they were confronted. If someone invited anyone into the group without group approval they suffered the consequences. Now when I look back on these things I see how ridiculous it was and still is. Where are those group members now? Well once I start expressing my beliefs and faith they slowly started departing from me.
that the moment I start conforming to what others want, behaving in ways that are in opposition to who I am, I become absolutely miserable
@Nineclaws I’m the same way. Once I realized this in my early twenties I changed the way I did things. I broke away from the normality of pleasing everyone and trying to prove myself (credit to the Lord for the strength He gave me). I no longer conform but instead stand up for what I believe and no one can change that. If they don’t like it they keep it movin. 😄
I think it’s smart to stay guarded and only loosen that guard once you’re sure of someone. I’m the same way with this too. After being done a certain way so many times it’s almost an automatic defense mechanism that happens. Treading carefully in this day and age is what everyone should do.
I really enjoyed reading this. The evidence is all around but as you said one can only see if they’re willing to look. Back then I didn’t want to see the truth because the feeling of belonging felt so good. It wasn’t until I realized my worth that I finally saw that I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone or any group.
Thank you @crosheille and also thank you for sharing your personal experience.
That is key and if they don't move on, I move on, LOL.
You're right, it does become "almost an automatic defense mechanism". I tended to be far more on guard when younger for other reasons. Where I've been at for some years is a tendency to be more comfortable with putting myself out there. Now the tendency is for me to be too friendly, since I like to meet new people and socialize. The more one puts oneself out there, the more one may become a target I've noticed. Recent experiences are making me reign in my friendly and apply added caution. Silence is a peaceful place to rest.
Your description of your experience of being in a clique brought back memories. I was never in the cliques, reject from the outset, my culture and colouring did that, then add in my nature. I was always the outsider. That said, I used to watch others then, same as I do now and I never saw a lot of "happy" on the part those kids that were part of a group.
I think it's important to be aware of where others are coming from. I find that most people don't intend to cause difficulties for others, instead, they are caught up in things that result in them making choices that aren't the best for them. Aside from that, there are always a percentage of people that are best avoided.
I always love chatting with you. Wonderful conversations and discussion. I really value that. Thank you for being you. 😍🤗
Absolutely! This post was very intriguing and made me want to share. 😉
Hahaha!! Yes!! If they don't move I move...love that and so true!!
I agree about being a target the more you put yourself out there. Being an outgoing person who loves meeting new people would make it challenging to stay silent. I too am this way but due to me being more cautious I do tend to wait longer before putting myself too much out there for others. Once I get a feel of people I can usually discern whether they are someone I want to share life with.
I so agree and have witnessed this many times before.
Awww thanks so much. You know I love chatting with you. When we talk here I feel like we are sitting in front of each other someone outside a small cafe with a cup of tea enjoying our day. 😄🥰🤗
I have much love, respect and appreciation for you dear friend ~ 💓
You've put this so well. I have nothing to add. This is key.
I feel sad when I see others get caught up in things. That's where it always ends up for me. I wish for so much more for others.
Thank you and what a beautiful vision, totally my kind of thing, totally. Love, respect and appreciation right back at you my dear friend @crosheille! ❤️🤗
@nineclaws I love this about you. Whatever you do whether good or bad,there are still people that won't like you for it. You live your life for God and no one else. Also I like that you learn from your past experiences. That's wonderful. Keep on being who you are- authentic.
Aww, thank you @sapphirekay! You're absolutely right, no matter what you do there are always those who won't like you for it. Peace is to be found inside, when one is living true to one's self and in concert with the Divine.