It probably seems a little out there, I mean an army tank? What possible purpose could I have for an army tank? They're heavy, loud, lacking in anything resembling comfort, don't have automatic windows, window-wipers or heated side mirrors, have barely any legroom, are difficult to reverse-park and when maintenance is required do you think a tank mechanic operates on every street corner? Well, they don't. All that and I haven't even mentioned that they have terrible fuel economy.
The negatives go on and on however I want one. Nah, let's call it what it is, I need one.
Last week, I was on my way to work and was stopped at a red-light intersection. I was the fifth car in line. When the light went green the car at the front didn't move. The light went orange and then the car took off - only that first car got through the intersection. I put it down to first the driver looking at a phone and not paying attention to the change of traffic lights. What the bloody fuck! #WTBF
The cars idled up to the white line to wait out the traffic-light sequence. I was now forth in line. The sequence took about four minutes to cycle through to a green light once again.
I waited, not so patiently, annoyed that because that first driver wasn't paying attention four other drivers' lives were on hold. When the light went green the first car in the line moved off...but the second one didn't move, again I assumed because they were checking Facebook to see how many likes they got on the post they made about their fucken Corn Flakes or some such fuckassery. For some reason, the third car in line, right in front of me, didn't lay on the horn...When I realised what was going on though, I did. The stationary car moved off but by then the light was red and myself and the car in front of me were stopped once again. Fuckdidly fucken fuckerdoodalistic fuckballs!
Now can you see why I need an army tank?
By that point I was more than a little annoyed. Not quite apoplectic, that's not generally my style and I'm a normal person after all, but I was mad enough to drive an army tank over someone's fucken car to get through the traffic lights.
The thing of it is, people have lives, things to do and places to be, and when other people impede that process because they're not paying attention at the traffic lights...well, people become late, and frustrated. It's happening more and more these days, along with inattentive driving and other such things that make the roads a dangerous place to be; I mean here in Australia and in cities - I have no clue what it's like where you are. With the increase in population and vehicles on the road, inattentiveness has no place, but it's on the rise. But back to my army tank.
I need an army tank so that, in cases like the above situation, I can simply drive over the cars in front and be on my way; it makes perfect sense.
Oh come now, seriously? Do you really think I'd just drive over another car like that?
You must think I'm bloody bonkers! There's no way I'd drive over a car like that...I'd drop the main gun first and put a fucken shell into the car, you know, to soften it up a little bit, and then drive over it.
Ok, clearly I'm joking here. But seriously, am I really joking here?
Nah, seriously I am only joking. But am I?
Let's just go with maybe I'm only joking. Because I'm probably not joking.
I guess the point is moot though, I mean, I don't have an army tank. Or do I?
Ok, I don't really have an army tank at all. Probably do though.
I wish I did have an army tank though, because my run to work would be so much easier! I think I'd not worry so much about car park and shopping cart dents if I had an army tank either; just think how liberating not having to worry about that would be. OK, I'd probably still worry about it and be careful with my army tank because that's how I am but I'd be able to blast the hell out of anyone who opened their door on my tank right? I mean, I'd only blast them a little bit, not totally.
I'm only joking about blasting people with my tank. No I'm not.
I'm serious about the situation on the roads; I work in trucking and heavy transport and when things go wrong, people die. It happens a lot here in Australia and, tragically, there seems to be no way to address it - people don't seem to care. Driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, speeding, driving tired, drivers with insufficient skills, stupid fuckers and inattentiveness are the main culprits and it's alarming to think I share the roads with those drivers. I spend a lot of time driving and I see so many issues, near-misses and accidents; it's getting out of hand in all aspects and inattentive driving is probably the worst culprit I guess, that and driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I have no idea what the answer to the problem is as road-safety training and advertising campaigns don't seem to have any effect. I don't know if me having an army tank is the answer to the problems either although I'd love to have one and teach a few people a lesson with a friendly blasting or running over.
What have your observations been? If you don't drive a car or live in an area that has very few cars then you won't have an observation and that's ok, don't comment. But, if you do drive, have you noticed things getting worse in your city? Is inattentive driving a thing there as well? Do you want an army tank? It's ok, if you want one you're allowed to say so - no one will judge you. Feel free to comment about the situation on the roads in your city and in your experience as a driver. Also, if you want to buy an army tank let me know, we might be able to get a deal if we all by one at the same time. Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind I took the image in this post personally.
Get a train horn.
I’m going to get one for my car for sure. I’ve seen a few people with them and it’s incredible. I just have to remember not to beep my horn when I lock my car in the parking spot lmao neighbors won’t like that a bit!
That would make a great comedy skit or public reaction video. Sitting here laughing at the thought of this obnoxiously loud locking and alarm on notification sound.
Lol...I like how we think alike.
I had twin-tone air horns on my Ford F100 pick up. I wonder how many heart attacks I'm responsible for. That was back in my young and impetuous days in my thirties. Now, in my fifties...Army tanks are where it's at.
One day I was checking my mirrors as traffic slowed in front of me. Vehicle behind me was just some young dumb shit gawking off to the right trying to see who's at the skate park probably. I had to take a turn at 50 just to get off the street so he didn't ram into me. Morons...
Can still put a train horn on an army tank.
Stuff like that is a daily occurrence, including today when I was out and about. Inattentiveness, impatience, drugs and alcohol, incompetence...the list goes on. One that drives me fucken bonkers is when I indicate to turn left into a side street and the fuckwit behind lays on the horn because he has to brake. What the bloody fuck! #WTBF
Train horns on my tank will finish it off nicely I think...and of course, we all know the turret traverses 360° so I can deliver an attitude adjustment to those behind me.
It is getting worse and it sucks when you have to do their thinking for them. Several times I've looked in the mirror while slowing for a light and saw heads in phones. Or when you have to change lanes because someone else is changing lanes and doesn't care or notice you right next to them. I don't get it. When I'm driving I'm dialed right in.
Maybe a water cannon. You know you can be a prick by turning the windshield fluid nozzle to spray off to the side, right? Can be fun if their windows are down...
The old, turn the window-washer nozzle to the side so it sprays into people's open window, ploy. I like your
deviousinventive mind!You're right man, it's crazy out there at the moment and for so many reason. Mostly when I brake, and especially in harder-braking situations, I always look in the review mirror to see what the idiot behind me is doing. It's insane that one has to drive for oneself and the other person too!
Winter driving can be nerve wracking in Canada. Something like this I'd consider normal.
All it takes is one asshole or maybe a couple morons and your day is ruined, along with your vehicle.
Road rage is so much more fulfilling when you have the option of 105mm Armor Piercing.
I like where your head's at.
In truth, road rage isn't my thing, it's just too dangerous these days. Don't tell anyone though, it'll ruin my reputation.
Sorry G-dog, you can't have a tank! That's a very big and too expensive toy for you. Please be realistic and look for something more appropriate. End of discussion! 😂
What? I need to look for something else?
Here's me driving to work in my alternative vehicle. I blame you.
😂😂😂
I'll allow this, to be able to jump over the cars that are not moving. But that's it!
Oh yeah, my dream plane! Just imagine how good driving that is going to be for my street-cred.
#thefastandrediculous
I'll own it.
😂😂😂
😉
Moral of this story...
Juss another day at my office...
Indeed.
You could always invest in a helicopter? Problem solving is one of my specific skill sets 😂👍🏼
I'm thankful that guns are not freely available in the UK because I'm sure they'd be shootouts every minute of every day as we have a multitude of incompetent drivers.
The law is the problem. If you come here say for a year to work.
You are allowed to drive on the dipshit license you finagled by bribing the inspector in your country of origin and just to point out that this is not a racial slur I have come across shit drivers from every race and continent.
My son in law is south African and a complete menace behind the wheel but he thinks he is a skilled driver! Dunning Krueger should be his middle name 😂👍🏼
I lived in SA for many years and I know how the system works. Pay to play.
I'm happily car less right now as I live in London where owning a car is a sure sign of insanity.
Your blog did give me the giggles. The roads are a death trap.
Get a helicopter 🤯😂👍🏼
If I got a helicopter it would need to be an AH-64 Apache, for obvious firepower reasons.
Guns are freely available here, to those who quality, I have more than twenty of them...there's no shootouts every minute of the day, or even every year or decade. Unless you refer to criminals and governments.
The law, yes I agree. But there's plenty of fucking idiots born here who drive like dick heads. I don't think it's easy to point the finger at a particular group, unless that group is the humans.
Exactly my point. Humans in general are the problem.
Maybe saint Elon will save us all from dickheads?🤦♂️😂👍🏼
I'm not holding my breath.
Sweet transport
Saint Elon is the first fucker I'll blast with my tanks's main gun. But tell no one, I want it to be a surprise.
Er! you've just put it on our blockchain. Not to worry no fucker will ever read it. Lol
This is true...The safest place for any private or sensitive information is in a Hive post...No one ever reads them. I'm surprised the CIA, Interpol, MI6 and ASIO aren't using Hive posts as their main data and top secret storage location.
In case they start doing it, you read it first here.
Well you know people. They are the singular most important person in the universe, no one else matters, the only things that matter is themselves and whatever they want. Anyone who doesn't accept the fact that they are the singular most important person in the universe whose goals, aspirations and tasks are more important than anyone else's could ever hope to be is just selfish and stupid and deserving of ridicule and contempt and cancellation.
Also they are the best at everything they do and they can absolutely just drive while a little bit under influence or while on their phone because they're amazing drivers and much better and more alert than all those other idiots and they won't crash or cause problems, and a "quick" check never hurt anyone.
Also seems that nobody knows how to time things, stuff they think is "quick" never is (whether it's the "quick" check of the phone or getting angry with someone else for not doing something that "should only take a few minutes" (it never takes a few minutes and if you actually had a clue how to do the thing and were capable of doing it yourself you would know that, meanwhile if you don't have a clue, don't run your mouth like you do, I have never had this problem before and I'm not bitter at all XD).
Haha, you're writing all my rants from now on! 🤣
It's a big problem and I think will only get much worse. People doie on our roads, almost daily, and the near-miss or minor incidents are countless. Little by little those latter two will begin to get worse and worse and then...more deaths.
It's a problem everywhere, not just in Australia.
I'm again reminded of the time I ripped into someone on the long extinct G+ because they bragged about playing Pokemon Go while driving, and then proceeded to excuse and defend themselves about how it's perfectly fine because they were driving slowly and paying attention. It is quite likely that after I told them that it was not and never would be okay and all their pathetic excuses were exactly that I may or may not have just outright called them stupid in some unnecessarily descriptive fashion but it was a long time ago now.
I'm hoping drilling my kids on the importance of paying attention is enough to make them actually pay attention all of the time, but then it's blithering idiots like the aforementioned that we always have to worry about.
I don't get why people think it's ok, try to justify it. Bonkers, and not in a good way like me.
I'd be a little concerned if I had kids and they were out there driving, kids are kids you know? They do stupid things...I did. The problem is the roads are far more dangerous now than 35 years ago.
Ego can't take a slight I guess.
Kids can be a lot more switched on than people give them credit for. Some of my friends' kids were "lazy" and weren't scurrying out to get their licenses the second they were able (some of them were actually lazy, but most of them had legitimate reasons like easy access to public transport meant they didn't feel it necessary to take on the extra cost burden of a car therefore didn't see the point in being able to drive one). My eldest held off for a year because he felt that at 16 he would be too gung ho and dangerous behind a wheel (even though he would be unable to get anything past learner's til 17 anyway). He's very cautious now. Middle child ran out and got hers a few days after she turned 16 and I actually trust her to be safe, meanwhile we'll have to wait and see what she's like when she stops screeching in terror after hitting 20kph XD
Smart 16 year old.
I think your kids probably have a good chance at being sensible based on how you've raised them to be. It's everyone else we need to worry about.
That’s annoying as hell and thankfully not a common occurrence in the road rage city of Boston and the surrounding areas. I do know that people don’t have as much attention on the road which is scary. I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to stay off my phone since I’ve had the little man in the car. I picked up my phone the other day to see if ssiena texted me while I was driving not to read it but just to see and the little man said daddy don’t look at your phone it’s dangerous! I’m glad he had my back, because I didn’t have his for a split second and that’s no bueno. When I look at it though I’m not looking down at the floor completely eyes off the road but holding it towards the road on the steering wheel so I have peripheral vision of fucks around me.
I think getting a train horn installed as name suggested will be the best remedy for that not occurring again! A couple blasts from that shit will make them piss their pants!
Phone driving is a pretty bad thing as it removes almost all focus away from the road and that affects reaction time. Many still do it though. I wonder what killing a child on the side of the road would do to the rest of a person's life. The sad thing is (for the child) that many will find out I guess.
It's all shite on the roads, not everyone, but those that do the wrong thing effect everyone else.
Train horns on cars would be awesome.
I remember when tanks were ultra cool untill one of my friends told me who is in the army said....
"its very cool... untill you realize there is no Air Conditioning."
He mentioned sweat drizzles out like marbles inside while your operating it... So..... think twice my friend before you get one of them called Tanks. Hehehehe.
Been in tanks...Still want one. I'm off to the local dealership tomorrow. Lol.
Hope you're going well mate.
Hey Galen~ yes I am doing pretty good at the moment, thanks for asking.
Chopping up time to make enough for our community. :) and that's right! You were in the military!! I am pretty sure you could get it somewhere out there in Australia... If you are in logistics then pretty much you got all the connections. Make sure after you buy your tank to rain-X those windows. :)
Good to hear you're doing well, I hope that condition continues.
This is the reason I stopped driving, I'd rather take the bus, because then I'd have the "luxury" to get off at any point and just start walking.
The idiots behind the wheel and the traffic here turned me into a hater, whereas once I was a lover; I loved to go out with my car and just drive for a while, even if there was no destination. But now driving a car in this city is riskier than ever. The lack of parking space, the chance of getting clipped by a safety bumper because of the car's incompetent driver, or having one my side mirrors stolen after I get back. 😂
Yeah, I remember you saying that a while back. It makes sense. For me, buses don't make sense as I'd never be able to perform my job if I used public transport.
I also love driving, like you used to. I am fortunate to live in a place where wide open spaces are not too far away and then driving becomes a pleasurable experience.
According to my routine and work, the bus works just find 8 out of 10 times. But I can understand your routine and your duties, if you have a lot of points to visit in a day, then a private vehicle is the one and only option sometimes.
It's a small city we have here, and that's actually a good thing I'd say, but it's crowded as hell, which then makes it feel like a curse. Only the weekends seem suitable enough for a long drive or something of that sorts.
Yep, exactly; I might do 80-120 kilometres in a day and where I go there's no public transport, multiple meetings across multiple sites.
I could catch public transport on the weekends I guess, but I never do. It's not something I like doing unless I happen to be overseas and then I'll use it here and there if needed.
Yep, just what I thought. We have offsite duties too sometimes, 100 to 200 kilometers away, but we mostly end up renting a big car for such visits.
That's a different scenario, even when I'm out of town the means of transport I use may change by quite a bit.
I remember when I was in India with my father just over a decade ago, we had to switch things up altogether when it came to our day to day transport. In Kolkata it was either a taxi or hand pull rickshaw, but in Delhi it was the metro that seemed like a better option.
We all have to work around different parametersI guess and what works for one may not for the other.
I've used the subway/metro/underground rail transport all over the world and have largely had good experiences, I'd say Singapore's MRT is the best I've used, but some around Europe are really good too. Maybe that's why I don't like the one we have here as it doesn't stack up.
I went in a rickshaw once, in Malaysia...it wasn't too bad. It would take me all day to get anywhere if they had them here though.
Most of my friends in Australia are doing good, they all have cars and live around scenic spots, which means a lot of long drives haha. I don't know how much a car costs there, nor do I know much about the maintenance costs, but almost all of my friends has a car for day to day use.
I myself did apply for my higher studies in Australia, long ago, but the cost was a bit too much for international students, and for me and my family. Which was one of the reasons I had to pull the plug on that dream of mine.
Yet, the life I'm living, and where I'm at right now, I say I'm doing quite alright. Maybe I'll give it another try somewhere along the line.
What about something more like this?
Image credit
Hmm, so tempting. Maybe, that with a CIWS mounted to the top might work nicely. Better on fuel economy than an army tank, but just as lethal. 😊
And the ideal machine for a side hustle delivering !PIZZA
Haha! We can all do with a few extra bucks, and who wouldn't want a car that perpetually smelled like pizza and garlic bread?
Nodding and smiling, nodding and smiling and nodding again - through the whole post.
Dawdlers, f*ckin' dawdlers at lights checking their phones or those realizing they're about to miss a highway exit while they are in the left-most lane, cross over two or three other lanes to just squeeze into the exit but on the way cutting off two or three other cars whose drivers have to hit the brakes.
Or how about the f*ckers that have a little road race on the 4-lane highway and weave left and right through the traffic that is already going faster than the speed limit? The worst one was when two V8, ass-loud sports cars appeared from behind me out of nowhere i.e. F1 speed, one screeched into the left lane just before hitting my rear bumper while the other one went to the right at full speed and both were gone within a second. My heartbeat stopped for a split second as I had a nice convo with my hubby, then grabbed the steering wheel with white knuckles and sloooowly started breathing again along with my heart beating as if on speed. YIKES!
People on the road - I could go on and on. The funny thing is that I really loved to drive. Also, drive fast. Hah - I read your WE and was thinking about driving a rally car at speed - it is something that I always fancied, offroad, of course. These days, I try to stay off the road as much as I can. Though - a tank might be an option. I'm sure I can find an old Sherman here somewhere - LOL
Two-or-three-lane-crossers...there is a special place in hell for those...and when I get my tank I'd put a shell in them just because I can, even if they don't impede me.
The situations you mention, that and far more, is why driving can be ome unenjoyable. I understand completely.
Maybe someone should write a book on it, although once I get my tank and make a few object lessons, I'm sure they go straight to a movie about it. 😁
The thing about having an army tank is that people would get out of your way. For a while I drove my brother in law's Mitsubishi pick-up: no one wanted to pick a fight or even be in the same vicinity as me - getting to where I wanted to go was no problem :D.
Inattentiveness isn't really a problem here. We mainly have people who drive too fast for the driving conditions and environment they are in, and they mainly have something in common, they're young men. And more generally, in different parts of the country, and in this one I'm living in right now, we have people who don't indicate in advance of whatever it is they're going to do. Oh wait, I forgot those people who wander about in front of you, managing to stay in lane, but all over it, and just for fun, keep slowing down and speeding up for no apparent reason (I don't know, maybe they're bored). But we don't really have any problems here 😂
Yeah, you're right for sure, people would get out of my way if I came up behind them in a tank...and if they didn't...well then, the fun begins. 🙂
I don't know where you live, but maybe it's the only place in the world where there's no road safety issues? Here, well I guess a person could not have any from day to day, but I'm on the road a lot so I see more. There's a lot of reasons as I've listed, and there's more besides. I think it's a human thing these days. People can't leave their phones alone...which is probably what's behind those drivers doing all that weavjng where you are. Inattentive phone driving doesn't make for good driving.
Forgive me, irony doesn't always come over too well in text communication 😁 My bad.
I'm sure you're right about the phones. I put mine on silent when I'm driving. I carry it on me because I'd want it within reach if there was a problem, but I don't want it ringing and buzzing at me.
Oh sorry, my mistake, you were being sarcastic. I should have realised, I'm Australian after all, and sarcasm is an Australian's superpower.
Sorry.
💃
Hahaha, I've joked about the exact same thing. A tank would make intra-city commutes all the more merrier, amusing, and pleasant, even if it would be loud.
I've also joked about wanting a bazooka. That would stop a would-be thief their tracks, if they're suddenly concerned about having a mortar launched at them.
I remember teaching my daughter to drive. She was driving us home one particular evening and let out a series of curses at the driver in front of us whilst questioning his parentage, lineage, ancestry, and future in the gene pool. At that moment I realised she was absolutely ready to drive on her own.
Merrier, amusing and pleasant is exactly what I think would be the case too!
Haha, good story about your daughter, the force is strong in that one. And yes a bazooka or three...I want to mount a CIWS to my LandCruiser. I think that would work nicely.
This just made me almost laugh my coffee all over my keyboard. Your might with words is worth your weight in stone. Wait, is that right? Well, you know what I mean right? I so enjoy your writing.
The situation on the roads here is pretty fucking awful. People drive like fucktards. I was driving behind one just yesterday infact.
And FUCK YEAH! I totally want an army tank! Probably won't do handbrake turns in it though. That takes a level of skill I don't think I have mastered just yet.
Thanks Emma, I tried to add some humour into what is a really serious issue here, and everywhere. I'm glad you got a laugh, but almost spitting out coffee on keyboard doesn't quite win a price...One must actually do it!
That gif...that's how I'm going to park my thank at work. It won't matter if I hit other cars, who's going to argue with me? In truth, I hope someone does...they'll get blasted.
When I read about the title, at first, I had in mind you wanted it for work, but when I found out the reason why you wanted to have the army track, I was smiling, hehe. Another great imagination from you, and I wonder how it is in reality. Lucky are those places that have only a few cars on the streets. Here on my side, it is a problem for most people rushing to work and attending to other essential tasks.
As for me, I think I wanted to have a mini private plane that I could park at the garage, so anytime I could fly anywhere without issues, hehe.
I understand that a plane could be a good option, but one can't run over other motorists in a plane so for me, it'll have to be an army tank. It'll be more fun.
Just get a private jet or a flying car and fly over them all.
Then boom! , problem solved😌, no time to waste time.
But then, jokes aside, they might have a lot on their minds which made them a little distracted, but then ,we all have things that gets our minds occupied too (but I guess we all handle it differently).
If I flew over them I'd not get the enjoyment of blasting bad drivers with my army tank.
There is no excuse for driving in a distracted manner on the roads. I wonder, would you say the same thing if a distracted driver killed your entire family in a road accident?
"Oh that's ok, the driver was distracted. No worries."
😂😂, yeah, a little drama is needed to keep them in check.
There is definitely no excuse for driving like that, I was just trying to check the reasons that might be behind such a behavior, I’m not saying it’s right or okay, because it can never be.
!LOL