What are you currently worried about?


I awoke today feeling completely overwhelmed by life and health issues; I did not even say my prayers before making the mistake of going online to check a Reddit group I belonged to.

I mostly check this group to monitor trends and read the stories of people who have my medical conditions, but most of the time I am looking to see if there has been a big break, maybe a new medicine, maybe a new treatment method, or something really to improve the quality of life, but I came across this really depressing story of a 45-year-old woman, and it made me concerned about my own health.

Then I decided to look up this woman's situation on Google, which only made me feel worse. I spent a few hours really thinking about my situation.

A Cure To (Your) Cancer?

I could use some exciting new medication right now; perhaps a mad scientist will find an incredibly cheap cure. These thoughts caused me to spiral into some more sub-thoughts, which completely depressed me. Then I decided to give myself a little break; after my morning prayers.

Crypto Cure

I decided to check crypto prices, and good old BTC has decided to take down the alts once more, while remaining 11% up from last month. It was just what I needed to send me down even deeper. With good cryptocurrency prices, I could really get some quality medications, and even if they did not cure my condition, they would give me some relief, and then we could worry about the future rather than the present.

Too Much "GOOD", Can Be Too Good

Life can be extremely good at times, and it can also be so bad that you wonder if you deserve what you are going through. A little mix of good and bad life experiences is acceptable, but completely good or bad feels too good to be true. In reality, the combination of good and bad creates stability.

We use the good things in our lives to help us get through the bad. When life suddenly gets too good, it makes some people nervous because they do not know where the crack will appear.

In reality, it has not been all bad for me, but the majority of the events that have occurred over the last year have left me extremely concerned. Instead of overplanning, I sometimes try to do things quickly. Too many bad events have turned me into a pessimist, and my outlook on life is not always positive.

Where others see sunshine and roses, I am always worried there'll be a dark cloud somewhere, and having this outlook makes me extremely nervous, which is why I am hoping for some good news. Most of the time, my blood work leaves me feeling exhausted. I go to the labs with high hopes for a ray of hope, and sometimes I leave with a more depressed mood.

Choosing Denial

Although I prefer to know the full story of my reality, it makes me cautious and careful, even if it makes me sad. Living in denial is not something I want; living as if there is nothing wrong or picturing a perfect life with no worries is like having a beautiful living room with a slaughterhouse or full of scary things in the basement. I understand that people need to be in denial to feel sane, but being in the know is preferable.

Even if we choose to deny the facts of reality, does that change the reality? Choosing ignorance is like applying a cosmetic solution to reduce my anxiety.

I am concerned about cryptocurrency, but my concern is fleeting and superficial; at times, I would like to believe it is crypto, but deep down I know it is my condition. Again, worry has the potential to interconnect.

The human mind has the ability to interchange or transfer worry from one situation to another; sometimes this mental state aids in the transfer of aggression from what we are most concerned about to what we are least concerned about.

However, I am concerned about a variety of issues, most of which are related to my health.

Because I believe that sudden physiological rejuvenation will alleviate my other concerns. For the time being, all I want is to be able to provide my family with what they need to thrive, but I can not do more than I am doing right now, or I will get sick and they will be worried about me.

In Conclusion

Again, I want to be present for my family. Throughout my life, I did not have anyone who was truly there for me. I had people who could do very little, but when it came down to it, they would draw the line.

For me, it is about giving back to my current family what I did not get as a teenager/child, and I need to be in a stable state of mind to do so, which I can not do if I am jaded and demotivated. Then again, I know my worries will continue, but maybe I do not want to win everything; I know I can't; I just want to win a few battles in my life right now, even if I might lose the rest.



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Greetings @josediccus ,

Always appreciate hearing how you are doing...what you are thinking.

The verses that come to mind from reading your post.... 'Casting all your cares on Him for He cares for you.'....Leave it with Him....The worry of it with Him.

And a verse from Ecclesiastes ...'With knowledge comes great sorrow'....and yet as you say...we would not wish to be ignorant...as Ignorance is certainly not bliss....but since we can never know all....we trust the One who knows all.

Kind Regards,

Bleujay

Thanks a million for your kind thoughts..

In my prayers this morning, I already know there are places I have gotten to that I couldn't have without God, and yes, I know to vast all my cares upon him, the only problem is that the heart will still worry despite the fact that we really shouldn't.

With the knowledge I have of the issues I have, it makes it really hard to know all that and still be in bliss.

Unfortunately I can't go back to being ignorant, I know what I already know, but I trust in God's process for me.

Joe, I stopped reading about my son's case online through the story of other people with same health issues. Why? Because what I read online drives me crazy the more...I don't know if these Google people use to exaggerate things but sometimes , it causes me emotional trauma and overthinking. Why not get answers to your questions from your doctor?
Also, there are many life battles, unfortunately, we can't control all. Just do what you can do, and mostly importantly, stay positive and strong for your family.

Even the doctor doesn't know everything. Sometimes the only way to see through the scope of one's condition is to look at the condition of others. Although we cannot compare ourselves because the condition of everyone no matter how same is always different, but then, we mostly do these research just to get the idea of what is in view.
There's no way we cannot try to get information online because we want to know the best ways to tackle the things we're truly going through.

Anyway, the best thing is to probably stop when we feel too overwhelmed and just think another day. Only God knows when what will be will be..

I know the feeling! Winning a few of those battles sure would feel good! It's great that you're there for your family, a very important thing.

I try not to worry too much about what I can't control which is a lot anymore. Life can be great at times and at others it can really suck!
!hiqvote

Thank you. What matters more is my immediate family and I just want to be there for them despite it all. I can make do with a run at the moment, surely I can, because it will do a lot for my mental health.

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I’m sure you know the top info on sickle cell but I did hear something yesterday in a podcast that they did great work to considerably reduce or eliminate sickle cell with some therapy. It sounded like it was probably expensive though which is annoying.

Hopefully you can get yourself back on track in terms of your mindset so that you don’t fall out of your normal routine which has I’m sure helped you deal with this stuff.

Thankfully there is crypto for you to do things to help yourself in the financial side!

Yeah, I know a lot about the disease and all the info. The treatments are just too expensive. 2.2 million dollars, I doubt I'll ever have that even if I worked for 20 years, and there are also risks and challenges despite the cost too.

So that was why about daydreaming and pondering; maybe a mad scientist can somehow come with a cheap cure whatsoever

Nevertheless, thanks a million, I appreciate your kindness words and thoughts

A few wins could be all you need to change your state of mind, even if they might not change the situation dramatically. But with a better state of mind you'll be able to tackle future challenges with another energy and maybe even some optimism.

Yeah, I can do with a much saner stake of mind at the moment. However, I think it's tied to thing getting better for me. I need a win at the moment and it's not been coming. I'll keep hoping and striving. Thanks for the kind words

same here, since yesterday a bunch of stuffs have been crossing my mind, I slept last night thinking about it and woke up this morning with it, I just have to take Lot convincing and Prayersto help me settle in, knowing fully well that it will be alright, nothings wrong....

You will be fine brother, I feel if we try to take our minds off the hook we will feel and heal better a little bit more....

Go easy on You

Thanks, well I believe God understands and knows, all we can do is to keep striving

Life continues no matter what you end up doing. I think that is a good outlook to life. Just do what you can as there are a lot of things we can't control. Crypto prices is just one of the things we can't control. I think you will get a few wins so long as you keep trying.

Yeah, I believe a win will come if I keep striving, nevertheless, sometimes we can't even determine if we will win no matter how hard we try and it's saddening.

Your posts on your health condition saddens me no end, and knowing that things would have been better if people were more responsible, especially those at the helm of affairs, who have the capacity to ameliorate the pains people go through, through good leadership, but would not, makes it even worse.
But I would say to you, "Just keep hope alive, keep it burning". 🙏

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words

Of course it's easy to say from the side line, but my motto in life is I don't worry about the things I don't have any control over, it's pointless and does not influence the outcome, a negative mindset only makes you feel even worse.
That being said I wish you good health 👍

Well, just like you've said, it's quite easier to say it. For me, I can't do it, I know. But I'm banking on God to help me, it's normal for people to be overwhelmed when life happens, sometimes one cannot do much recovering on their own

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