There are days when I feel that I am not myself. I look into the mirror and see a stranger looking back.
Just who is this guy with sunken eyes, graying hair, and a perpetual pained expression?
I wash my face and proceed to brush my teeth as I push these thoughts to the side as I prepare for another day working.
I go to meetings and training like I used to do before my life changed that fateful day.
Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash
I still remember it when I got rushed to the hospital after battling fever and weakness for over a week. I was having trouble breathing and was turning blue due to the lack of oxygen. I was wheeled away to ER and little did I know that was the last time I would see my loved ones for a long time.
I wrote my experience in another post if you are interested to read it here
Fast forward to today as I am jolted back to reality by someone asking me a question in the meeting. I stammer, I am at lost at words and could not think straight. Oh gosh, another one of those "Brain Fog" moments.
At first, it was not that apparent when I was still recovering as I did not have to utilize much brainpower but as I came back to work things seemed to be amiss as I grew forgetful, my mind seemed less sharp and I lack the focus I had before.
My dyslexia was also manifesting more as I struggle to write down my thoughts and ideas from presentations, training, articles, comments, and even emails.
I knew something was wrong and I consulted my doctor about my symptoms. We discussed before I was discharged that there might be a general weakness that I would encounter.
I expected physical weakness and the brain fog threw me out of the loop and frustrated me.
Photo by United Nations COVID-19 Response on Unsplash
I began reading articles and reports that said Covid 19 survivors were revealing that they too had these brain fog moments.
This article From ‘brain fog’ to heart damage, COVID-19’s lingering problems alarm scientists talks about the manic chronic illnesses and after effects, COVID has from brain fogs to damages to the heart, lungs, guts, and even kidneys.
Another article talks about how the virus attacks the neurons and brain cells directly. What We Know So Far about How COVID Affects the Nervous System
"ACE2 is widely thought to be the novel coronavirus’s primary entry point. But Rajesh Khanna, a neuroscientist and pain researcher at the University of Arizona, observes that “ACE2 is not the only game in town for SARS-CoV-2 to come into cells.” Another protein, called neuropilin-1 (NRP1), “could be an alternate doorway” for viral entry, he adds. NRP1 plays an important role in angiogenesis (the formation of new blood vessels) and in growing neurons’ long axons."
Aside from the physical trauma of being intubated, left feeling that you could die at any moment, the psychological scars of being a patient is also being explored. In a way a survivor experiences Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and this article 'Brain fog': the people struggling to think clearly months after Covid talks in length what many people call brain fog both physiological and psychological aspects.
We need more research on this like this one Even Mild Cases Can Cause “COVID-19 Fog”
I know a lot of people are still thinking that this is a simple flu and that it is being highlighted too much to the point of fearmongering for the purpose of big pharma, to Bill Gates and that it is a manufactured bio weapon released by accident.
People will believe what they want and as for me what I believe in are the experiences that I have with surviving COVID 19.
To me it is deadly serious and the science behind it is sound.
I really sorry about your experience. I have heard/read stuff about the after effects of the virus with some going as far as requiring organ transplant. I hope everything get back to normal for you asap. Sending you love and light.
Hey Gentle as there are still a lot of things that needs to be covered and researched with this virus we need all the right information which is scientifically backed.
I am hoping to bounce back on this and thank you for the kind words.
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