It's nearly the end of the holidays, and so far, I have not been regretting how I spent it. Normally, I would let the workaholic get the better of me and "do something productive" which could range from studying my ass off (during student days) or plan ahead what I need to do at work after the holidays (I'm a freak, I know).
However, I consider this holiday an achievement because unlike the way I spent my last holidays, THIS TIME I did not allow my need for an illusion of "productivity" get the better of me and ruin the time for a much-needed break... If my momma was here, she'd pray to the LAWD JEZAS of how I am praising myself for sleeping in until 12 noon, spending majority of my time watching Netflix, napping playing chess with my brothers, and pole-dancing. For the first holiday in forever, I was in a word... "CHILL".
It came to my attention that a LOT of MY attention was paid to male leading characters. In a year like 2020 where staying at home is as equivalent of staying alive, I, just like everyone else, don't really get to meet other people that much so it would be natural to consider movies, TV shows, books and the internet as, sadly, my primary source of entertainment.
It's good that things like Netflix shows I have been spending majority of my time on remind me of the fact that I am a human being-- a warm-blooded female heterosexual human being, who is at the peak of her sexual development in the most inconvenient time (puts on surgical mask). I stand thankful for the creative and entertainment industry for the stories they tell, and the male leads that they include to remind me of the evolutionary need of upgrading my standards when it comes to men.
I want to thank the LAWD JEZAS for the gift of experiences of being physically and sensually attracted to other human beings EVEN IF they only exist in fictional narratives.
Aaaand that's what I want to talk to you about my dear readers in this post.. the Top 5 Fictional Male Characters Eye Candies that have been putting my pheromones on haywire.
Why am I doing this?
- For the most obvious part, it's one of the interesting ways to get to know a person, especially a woman-- actually listening to what they like 💄
- It's also my own way of getting to know what I like by streamlining my reflections on certain male characters in fiction 📋
- It's a good writing exercise for the purpose of entertaining you my dear readers with my not-really-new ideas ✍️
I will be rating them according the following:
Appeal - The ability of a character to charm and draw in the attention of the viewers
Sense of Humor - because DUH.
Wit - not only in the diversity of the vocabulary a character possesses, but also in how the character uses his skill set when he talks
Physical Attraction - because we're only human and it's a huge lie to assume that looks don't hold any weight
Skills in Combat - because it's always adds some spice to the character when he is directly involved in the story's suspense
Murderous Tendencies - because you'll know
Top 5. Mike Chadway (The Ugly Truth)
I have to admit, at the start of the movie, I didn't quite appreciate the character's crass and obvious mysoginy. In many ways, I was like Abby Richter (played by Katherine Heigl) when it comes to her expectations and uptightness in romance. So it kind of speaks a lot about how I am when it comes to dating --- HOPELESS AS HELL, just like SHE was and the movie perfectly showcased it in that perspective 👏.
I like this movie because of the underlying message it brings. Women empowerment that came with modernization can have its consequences too. These days, women are empowered to take charge and go after what they want and never settle for less, and that still applies in looking for a romantic partner.
Of course, to be clear, there is a difference between looking for a living, breathing romantic partner and looking for a "walking checklist" embodying the perfect Mr. Right. In Abby's case, a perfect set of teeth, chiseled abs, speaks and knows how to woo a woman in 60+ languages, a 6-figure salary, doesn't masturbate, doesn't smoke or drink, and possesses a jawline that could sink the Titanic.
Mike Chadway is none of that stuff. In fact, he was able to offend Abby and her sensitivities in the first three seconds of them meeting.
I eventually grew fond of Mike Chadway along the movie, and thankful for the much needed reminder for women like me to take our intergalactic standards when looking for a romantic partner with a grain of salt.
Overall, here are my ratings:
Appeal - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sense of Humor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (Jokes that majority of women would find offensive, but the women's reactions are the funny parts, not the jokes themselves)
Wit - ⭐️⭐️
Physical Attraction - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sophistication -
Skills in Combat- ⭐️ (Wrestled with Bikini girls once)
Murderous Tendencies - None
Top 4. Nick Young (Crazy Rich Asians)
The dreamy history professor who turned out to be an heir of a crazy rich asian family -- thus the title. Of course, Crazy Rich Asians has to have the typical narrative of a rich man in love with the naïve commoner. The plot wouldn't be complete without the involvement of a deathly obsessive mamma in the background with the mindset as old as time that the leading female in the story is no more than an underqualified gold digger. Not to mention the filthy rich, vicious relatives and accomplished female admirers of Nicholas Young who did not bat an eye in bullying Rachel in the story.
The plot is a typical K-drama plot but in a more anglicized manner.
What did I get out of this character, by the way? Well, Henry Golding did a fine job of bringing Nick Young to life. He had me convinced for a while that there are actually decent, down-to-earth, male human beings out there coming from crazy rich families. Hard to believe? Can call me cynical but I would consider merely spotting a genuinely nice guy with a crazy rich background like Nicholas, a miracle, at least for me. I'm probably just saying this because I am someone who wasn't blessed with the honor of meeting one (third world problems perhaps?).
At the moment, I would like to consider Nick Young, or rather the concept of a Nick Young (a filthy rich guy who is at the same time, a decent and down-to-earth human being, uncorrupted by any of his inherited wealth, power and influence) is nothing more than a mythical creature.
This is a good thing and a bad thing:
It's a good thing because the idea will dampen women's expectations that such a person exists, and that kind of complacency and naivety is unwelcome especially for women on the dating market. It's a bad thing, because it just goes to show the inevitability of the downsides of possessing inheritance of gargantuan nature.
We see it on the news, media and everywhere else, how heirs of countries, companies and huge wealth have badly behaved temperaments and wholly different sets of priorities than commoners, but it's always good to have something serve as an inspiration, no matter how "mythical" a trope can be.
Appeal - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sense of Humor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wit - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Physical Attraction - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Skills in Combat - ⭐️⭐️ (Got into a fist fight once)
Murderous Tendencies - None.
Top 3. Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)
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The bastard of the north made it to the top three of the list, yes, Game of Thrones have already ended way before 2020 and yes, I still like this fictional bastard better than the preceded two.
I've always thought of my tastes being "free-thinking" or contrarian, far from whatever is the standing public opinion. However, in his case and the next contenders, I am willing to make exceptions.
What could have made an impact, perhaps? Could it have been the face, the iconic hair and beard, the majestic body structure, the combat skills or the action beneath the sheets? Or probably his apparent sense of honor in the story?
It's human nature to want to enjoy showmanship, and this is especially true for the past two characters who had to show all they could in a span of two hours, or the normal movie duration.
On the other hand, I was emotionally invested in Jon Snow along with the other Game of Thrones characters for more than six seasons: from the start of season one, where Sean Bean who plays Lord Eddard Stark, is killed off the series to the last season where we see the demise of the Mother of Dragons, played by Emilia Clark.
I think the major factor which brought Jon Snow up to the third place is time bias, or the idea that attraction grows with time, just like how perceptions of beauty can also change with time [1].
This is good because it means that you really don't need that instantaneous "spark" of physical attraction, to know a person is someone you want to subscribe to in the long run.
Appeal - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sense of Humor - ⭐️ (He's a brooding fellow)
Wit - ⭐️⭐️
Physical Attraction - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Skills in Combat - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Murderous Tendencies - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Top 2. Joe Goldberg (You)
Ahh yes. The serial killer book manager down in Mooney's. I wrote about this character before, and this just goes to show how this character made such an impression on me. I had a really long time trying to get over Joe, and even starting to doubt my own sense of morality for having a difficult time getting over this character.
Now that 2020 has passed, I'm very proud to say that that temporary dulling of my senses also passed with it (insert applause here).
What is it about Joe that despite being a murderous and in many ways, a dangerous character, seemed to land on the top 2nd spot on my list?
Is it because of his appearance?
His chiseled bone structure?
His hot chocolate fudge voice-overs?
His articulate usage of words? Seriously. When Joe said "Let's not conflate optimism with certitude.", how often do you meet guys who use the words "conflate" and "certitude" in one sentence?
Or maybe it is because of steamy scenes like this:
Yep. It's DEFINITELY because of scenes like this. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm kidding. But to be fair, I can say that love-making scenes do add some weight when used properly in the story. If the former were true then this article should be changed to a list of pornography actors instead.
The reason why Joe made it to the top 2 of the list is because he IS an interesting character.. he is a person with serial killer tendencies but with a likeable personality. Who wouldn't get dragged in to a phenomenon like him? It also wouldn't be fair to wish he wasn't a serial killer, because then, I would doubt that the show would make any impact at all.
As the show progresses, people are finding themselves disturbed by the killings but partially rooting for the character to develop into a better person. This is because Joe passes most people's checklists for likeable people: He's witty, he's smart, he's good-looking and of course... he's white (to save some time, let's not pretend that it doesn't harbor any weight because it does). The only red flag/deal-breaker is that, he murders people when he sees it fit.
I could talk more about why I find this character the way he is, here but instead, I'll just redirect you to my old article. Hopefully, you find some sense and coherence in my scribbles more than I do.
Appeal - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sense of Humor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wit - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Physical Attraction - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Skills in Combat - ⭐️⭐️ (He hit a lady with a rock)
Murderous Tendencies - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Top 1. Simon Bassett (Bridgerton)
The Duke of Hastings made it to the top of the list. You see this face all over social media during the Christmas of 2020, and I could honestly say that watching the show and watching this guy move was one of the best year-enders I have experienced in quite a long time. Thank you Netflix!
My boyfriend mentioned that Henry Tudor would laugh in his grave at Bridgerton. Some people would even consider the show a 2020 rip-off of Jane Austin novels. I have to admit, the setting in which the show is held is certainly too colorful, and femininely-pleasing for its own good.
That's even quite true when it comes to the main characters, especially this one particular character that kept me going throughout the whole series...
So what is it with Simon Basset that made me place him at the top of my list?
The Duke of Hastings is every sexually literate woman's fantasy man. That's the reason why Bridgerton is so popular to the females because it is a purely romantic, and even a carnally inspired piece of escapism at best.
That's basically it.
He is attractive, even as far as being called a "rake" (a.k.a. a regency f*ckboy [2]), witty as a high-society lord should be, majestic in terms of body shape and combat skills, without being unnecessarily murderous like Joe. He is a character absolutely flowing with BDE.
In addition, his character development along the story was the most apparent compared to the last two contenders. Jon Snow, Joe Goldberg and Simon Basset had fair shares of their dark pasts being revealed and these explain at some level why they are the way they are. We find Joe Goldberg at the beginning of another one of his toxic cycles at the end of Season 2, and we find Jon Snow killing the love of his life, Daenarys all in the name of honor, the way he has always been doing things since the beginning of the series. There was little to no change in these two characters.
However, with Simon Bridgerton, we find him conquering his dark past of being unloved by a father who made him feel inadequate at everything. For someone who made hefty declarations of never wanting to marry, we find him proclaiming his love for Daphne in front of the Queen, and not the simple and lazy Romeo & Juliet kind of declaration.
We find him teaching the viewers of the most important thing to look for in a life-time commitment with a marital partner -- not instantaneous attraction, but sustaining friendship, and we find him leading by example that people really do give effort to what's important to them.
We could argue that these changes are warranted for a Christmas treat like Bridgerton, especially since ladies are the target audience for the product, but reminders like these remain timeless in value, and things I want to see more of in the world... just like more of Regé-Jean Page's butt.
Appeal - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (RAKE!)
Sense of Humor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wit - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (DUKE!)
Physical Attraction - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (RAKE!)
Skills in Combat - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (He boxes, and also fought Anthony more than once)
Murderous Tendencies - ⭐️⭐️
Congratulations to the creators and producers of these five fictional characters I got to know about in 2020. These male leads proved to be worthy of a mention in my blog, and more importantly, an allocation of a share of my brain cells.
If you have any nominations for the 2021 list, do let me know in the comment section below 👇. Thank you for reading!
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