Hello Everyone!
An early morning rooster ruckus, The bush dwelling compulsion, Taking longer hikes & Lifestyle choices matter!
I have been awake for a while now but have spent much of my time doing my morning routines and checking for correspondences. I have also more or less been staring off into space in an attempt to clear my mind of the jumble of thoughts which I awoke to it being clouded by... which yeah is always easier said than done.
As far as all that jazz goes there is 'nothing new' there but with the way that old leg injury has been getting on my nerves I am feeling a fair bit more annoyed than I generally feel. Although I do my utmost to temper my thinking and emotions when injured and dealing with pain (or just discomfort) I must admit that it sure has a way of snapping things into focus... or if I am not careful it can snap things 'out of focus' just as easily.
Not dwelling on things in a negative way sure has become challenging since I began hobbling around a few days ago but overall the majority of my thinking has stayed on track and been rather constructive. There is not a whole lot that I can say on that topic because I feel like doing so would open a can of worms that I would prefer stay closed for the time being.
Part of the difficulty with all of that 'letting go' stuff is of course being reminded each day of how many things that I could/would/should be doing with my time right now in preparation for the leaner and albeit more difficult times ahead. Of course there is also the daily reminder of the projects that I have had to abandon... which yeah grates on my mind (given how much effort I have already expelled upon them) in a way that I can only describe as... a superbly aggravating sense of loss.
Anyway, I was a little late getting the chickens let out of the coop this morning and once again I got harassed by those same two birds when I did! This time it got a bit wonky because I lifted the wrong foot to block the rooster from attempting to spur me and almost fell over because I put too much weight on my leg with the injury.
It was not exactly comical but when I tried to regain my balance (by hurriedly dropping my foot) I accidentally wobbled and brought said foot right down on one of the rooster's legs. Considering he was mid-attack when it happened the poor feller lost his balance and fell over in a tangle of flapping wings accompanied by several indignant squawks.
Do not worry I caught myself in time before bringing my full weight down on the foot pinning the rooster but whoa it was a close one and I almost fell over in the damn process myself. All of that stuff was also happening on one of the more sloped areas of the dog yard so yeah it was more than a wee bit challenging to keep my balance and I wound up grabbing onto one of the thick pokeweed trunks to keep me upright.
The moral of the story here is that I either need to wake up on time and let the chickens out to roam in short order, bring some feed with me (to toss outside the coop door to distract them with) or start carrying a broom (or leaf rake) with me to fend them off if I am late on letting them out. Thankfully both those chickens only make one go at me (I guess to show their displeasure) and as long as I can successfully defend against their single 'attack' they bugger off in short order.
On a totally different note. I keep having the compulsion lately to 'head off into the bush' and basically disappear from the world to the best of my abilities. Of course it is not something I am actually going to do considering that I have the critters to care for and enjoy having a certain amount of 'comfort' but whoa is it an appealing idea nonetheless.
To be clear here there are assuredly no woods large enough in this region to do that in and even if there were the region itself is wholly non-conducive for living in the rough for an extended period of time outside of maybe during the winter. It is also worth noting that I do not think that 'heading off into the bush' is the best option in damn near any scenario except maybe in some last ditch effort to survive a calamity.
Nonetheless it is always one of those fantasies/inclinations/compulsions that drifts through my mind during stressful times and especially so when faced with housing insecurity. As with most 'fantasies' it just cannot withstand the scrutiny of my more pragmatic and practical nature regardless of how much I would like to think that I could be successful at it.
The realities of such an endeavor along with its ensuing hardships and abundant dangers should by all accounts make me not think too much on it but alas it is always there and often pops into my mind when I least expect it to! Perhaps it is just human nature to want to engage in such activities because hey the world did not get so populated by folks sitting around in their caves being miserable or content with each others company.
There are of course some regions left in this country where I guess that it could be a 'doable' endeavor with the right gear, skill set and enough stealth... but... whoa most of those places have large predators, harsh winters and/or extreme weather events and are basically so inhospitable that there are damned good reasons why no one lives there to start with!
Without diving too far into past experiences here I must say that having done enough 'living in the rough' over the years to realize my limits, how demanding of a lifestyle it is and just how untenable it is if seriously injured or ill... I absolutely know the only part of it that I would actually enjoy is the 'freedom, liberty and independence' aspects of it.
Even then I would do so knowing the odds of having a long life would be incredibly slim and although that in and of itself is not very discouraging... the quality of life itself would be about one (or two) steps better than the wild animals... who would of course have many distinct advantages over me in basic things like food, water and shelter which yeah I would be in competition with them for!
I know that many folks have such fantasies and even have such endeavors as part of their 'bugout' plan... but I must say... it is a bad frigging idea even if they do have the required skill set and necessary gear. Anyone who really knows what the heck they are talking about in regards to that sort of 'survival' will equally tell folks that yeah it is a bad idea with bad odds and very little likelihood of success to boot!
To be clear here I am not saying that it 'cannot be done' but that it 'should only be done' in a last ditch effort to survive and it is best to know full well the extent to which your own survival will be in peril by choosing such a course. I mean really we began living the kind of domesticated lives that we do for good reasons and 'going backwards' is a heck of a lot more difficult than most folks think it would be.
It should go without saying that nature is in no way as 'tamable' as the 'average' suburban yard, rural farm or urban park and while sure nature is not the 'enemy' it damn sure is not a 'friend' either. In short, nature will in fact injure, incapacitate or kill folks just as quickly as whatever they are 'bugging out' from... and no hippy-dippy ideas, optimism or positivity will ever change that.
None of that is to say that nature can not be dealt with accordingly via the appropriate avenues of the aforementioned gear and skills. But... the sheer infrastructure for one person to live in a secure, safe and clean manner is far from simple and that is discounting the possible threat of other humans trying to do the same. As far as that last bit goes yeah one person operating alone is automatically in a bad position on that front.
Okay, I got really off track there from my original line of thought about 'heading off into the bush' but I hope folks understand what I mean by all that stuff and how serious/perilous of a matter it really is when considering doing such an activity. If I am fully honest here I would have to say that the most appealing part of it to me is purging my life of computational devices and other humans.
I would basically be exchanging one set of insecurities (like housing and financial ones) for another set entirely which happen to have a higher mortality rate, less comfort and more immediate consequences! Not to mention a higher stress level, workload and larger anxiety given increased exposure to the elements and of course the very real possibility of being eaten by something else!
Considering all of that you would think that I would know better than to entertain such notions but hey if it came right down to it and I had to choose one lifestyle or the other I would be hard pressed to make a choice. Obviously the choices that I have made speak for themselves and the lifestyle I live is actually the compromise that I have negotiated with myself along the way in an effort to enjoy some degree of both lifestyle choices simultaneously.
Well, that all turned into quite the long train of thought but I am glad that I got it all spelled out in some kind of coherent manner. Just to be clear though, I have no intent to head out into the bush or anything like that. Furthermore even if I did... I would want to have at least a phone and a way to charge it with me because yeah I do not want to be that frigging out of touch with the world at the moment.
Anyway, I can squarely blame all my reading of the 'news' lately for many of my more outlandish compulsions because I keep entertaining different possible scenarios that might play out given the circumstances humanity finds itself in at this juncture in history. Most of them are harmless thought experiments that run their course and fade away but some of them (like building a storm cellar and/or fallout shelter) keep popping into my thinking again and again.
It really is challenging to look at the current state of affairs and not see the potential for calamity, hardship, strife and discord because yeah it is all over the map! It also seems like any outlet for information is very 'in your face' about it... which although does not exactly help... it is 'where we are at' and I am glad someone is blasting it out for the world to see... and mayhaps give folks (and myself) the chance to adjust/respond appropriately before it hits us dead on.
What I am driving at there is sure things are wacky as hell right now but alas it is up to us to determine how (let alone if) we respond to it. Honestly I dunno how well all of that 'choosing' will go for everyone else... but for me personally I have landed back on my old solid convictions of love, truth, faith and hope being my integral core... and yeah it is worth noting that I have very serious reservations about anyone attempting to abuse me (or anyone else) of those notions.
Alright, the sun has just set and I am still waking up all the way from the nap I was taking so bear with me while I sip more espresso and get woken up all the way. I have actually been up for a while now and even had plenty of time to feed the critters and fill the water jugs before it grew dark... so perhaps all I need is a wee bit more time to shake off the remnants of slumber.
The day was not super productive or anything and aside from going on several very long hikes and doing my routine chores... I pretty much just stayed off my feet, stretched my injured leg a lot and tried to get the throbbing to subside. At this point I am rather close to beginning to take a round of anti-inflammatories without having the necessary food supply but the notion of developing an ulcer (from not having a full meal before taking the medicine) keeps stopping me.
Seriously, I have enough mental, emotional and physical challenges to deal with at the moment without creating more for myself or exasperating the existing ones. Mayhaps one day I will be capable of taking the same kind of care of my body as I do my mind... but hey taking care of my mind does not cost me anything besides focus, attention, patience and care... whereas with the body (aside from me hedge-doctoring myself) it cost an insane amount of money for even the simplest of things.
Well, I think that I am going to keep this entry short and sweet and move onto the editing and posting phase of my evening. I hope that everyone is doing well and has a nice day/night.
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