PARODY: Dear demons, please submit your most insane idea to sound relevant... or else

in #humor3 years ago

Be wary all artists, hags like this one may accuse you of 'satanism' & witchcraft for making ethereal music. LOL

I just got a reply from some twat and it is sizzling hateful. In an absence of other more worthy I will satisfy with lil feces like this one.
Yes, the world is filled with insane people. This is the first time that squeaky voiced electronica of that kind is related to satanism. LOL But, not the first person who accuse it.


Anyways, three years ago another head case claimed the same and I warned that one also to get off the train - of course she didn't. After pissing off many people, getting sick herself and going completely insane,

her own hubby called the quits, collected the kids and left. I don't know if the later is true, but it could be plausible to believe it because she is a complete nut case.

I would not know anything about that, but here is a cute kitteh. For your phone. I really like this one.

How did I get interested into this case?

Well, with the delay of six months or so, I noticed the dress that a musician was wearing at some posh party - because it was unusual - it looked like somebody stick a caked carcass into a goth ballerina outfit - so I checked the website.

The party was a retarded form of money-fleecing fundraiser campaign attached to even more meaningless organisation with some umbilical vain scroungy looking old cooze being a host - nothing bad thinking to set the whole thing on fire - it is made of all the fine ingredients that make rich people look really bad.

What also makes it even more fucked up - is that if invited you are not allowed to go there with your lawful spouse, you need to take your bitch instead if you wish to participate. What kind of a whore of a woman invents that under ploy of being - "more interesting"?

Aw, man, I know, I know. There are so many people out there you all wish me to visit... So many fucks, so lil time...

I immediately noticed her companion has a jacket with Novus Ordo Seclorum, all these details and he apparently designed the dress.

I launched myself into their Twitter accounts to know more, because two of them looked like a promising pair of subjects - of course only because I am an Illuminati-geared-mind-stealing-alien-deity and I am in a dire need of new fans. I was after an artist to hijack so she would maybe be willing to build me a temple. I don't mind, even small one would do, I don't need a mosque. LOL

So, I found this misspelled profile of a girl musician, tapped on the first status with multiple comments, pulled up a chair and scrolled down to see what the mob is screaming.

I didn't find much but a bunch of anorexic jerk-asses ejaculating sheer nonsense all over her while pleading for attention. There was not much meat around the core, and usually the goths attract godsmen like flies. No angry pedestrians wielding pitchforks and threatening to set a castle on fire... Where is the stuff, I asked.

The only thing that resembled to a cursed one was her new boyfriend. Man, that cunt is ugly. Anyone see him standing next to her would think to gun that Sasquatch down. Nobody sober would fuck that with rented twat. I assume her glasses were in repair shop, and her diopter is like 300... when she met him and after it was done, she was like ... well fuckit.

Also, I think his teeth are RIGGED.

I didn't find anything relatable with goth or gotica either, based on statuses only.
Her clothing was uninspiring and bland, apparently the only thing that was of any substance to me in her wardrobe was her party dress... Also, this is the snatch snap of that musician. That suppose to be satanist? Ok Patricia...


Then at the end of that embarrassing convulsing session of comments, I found this weird number-plagued account with the whole two followers screaming nefarious things at her and I was like - well GOD DAMMIT FINALLY AN ADMIRER. LOL

That profile was accusing the musician for the pile of nonsense I was not interested in, and she sounded very cat-fishy...

...so I skipped that part, but! - then the accuser mentioned the satanism, so I was immediately more interested.


I mean if she needs a deity to worship heh heh...,

I will give you a job, hold your horses.
In fact, don't hold them.
Again all of that was a pile of a complete rhinoceros crap.

I mean, if you want to seek the dark art fan, you have me, seek no further. I Google the said satanist, and there was a line of YouTube videos with music, and I sincerely didn't know what to expect but my expectation was not justified.
I like music with more rhythm and fleece, she sounds like underfed canary.

I asked the divine providence for an occultist and...

Ok, I was disappointed so I looked for other forms of musician's art, apparently because Hope is the bitch and it refuses to die - not only that I found zero evidence of any dark art and besides artist being interested into spells when she was A FREAKING TEEN TWO MILLION YEARS AGO, and she is covered in some nonsensical tattoos THAT MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WEATHER SHE'S A CONJURE OR NOT ... for no fucking purpose but to look cool... there has been no sign of the serious skills.

Obviously, a pair of nerds came together, fucking around with mythology thematic and some people having a mental breakdown over it... And I am sitting like that pecking the keyboard...

I was having a really bad day, because that mentally disturbed jerk was sharing blatant lies and I wasted hours seeking things of interest that were not there.

In fact some of that shit was funny as fuck, but definitely some normal people may think otherwise...

I could scrap my Illuminati temple, lol. I was pissed like shit, nowhere to turn so I decided to kill a messenger. I told the old trout talking bullshit to fuck off and get off the train.

She of course reacted the opposite.

and...

I repeated to her she is about to get smacked because she is a liar and convulsing about these things would/could/might invite an actual real thing who just maybe decides to rip her tongue out in the absence of anything else interesting to do.

Jezzzzz...

Fast forward in future, later I read that the musician likes some oriental things - that witch and her coven conundrum accused her of summoning demons - again I got interested, nope - wrong crap, Korean and shit. No trace of spirit animals or any sort of spirit walking invocations. Complete bull.

And now the coven conundrum claimed that there is a black magic cloud around a girl they planned to incinerate and that some wizard is defending that musician because nothing is happening and she is not getting seriously sick, like they planned, or whatever. If something was happening, it was not because of them obviously. Or because of their "magic". And I have no fucking clue what they are talking about.

Then they mentioned something wrong with her food - I thought here we go - I expected some raw meat, snails, alive octopus... but the food that musician likes I usually feed to my enemies so they get carb poisoning and fucking die of a slow death. Thermonuclear carcinogenetic explosion packed in the spaghetti sauce, ramen and hotodogs with mayo!
She thinks that a pineapple pizza is repulsive. I love that shit! That is like a pinnacle of divine right there.

Anyway the grudge that witch was feeding got her at the end, and she was not the only one. There were a few of these mental cases who wanted to eat a child of that musician after she gave birth. What kind of crazy fucked up idiot fabricates that sort of an idea.

The little guy came out just fine. And no there was no three good fairies to defend his interest, there was only one mean ugly maleficent, LOL - I read somewhere who will be a godmother, but she has some weirdo name I am not interested to spell down to you. Is it even all that relevant? Considering his kerosene guzzling spaghetti gobbling parents can't be more dumb fuck stupid as they already fucking are, he will turn out to be a real fucking genius.


This is just an example of insane people that are of no use but to serve like a fertilizer when the time comes. Also, there is the whole army of demons out there, one are in human form others are non-corporeal, none of them worth anything, none has special magical powers to "come at you" ... they basically just devour each other. They also think this is super serious.

And there is another one again coming at the same person, like SOMETHING is going to happen - I forgot to ask her what exactly. Maybe this? Sorry to break the news to you, but this one comes to everybody sooner or later.


This one might be a little bit of a problem , lol


and Xmas is darn close. I'm still out of proper hooves. So if you plan to summon Krampus, be warned ahead of time, I will have just the common boots and God-help-me because He The Greatest knows how much I worked on those horns... So if I hear one mouth-fart or nose-giggle I'm gonna fucking anally assault you with that Xmas tree!