Who Reads These Things Anyway?

Buried deep in Amazon's Terms and Conditions paragraph 42.10, permission is given to use Lumberyard Materials for life-critical or safety-critical systems in the event of a zombie apocalypse. This allows lumber to be used for medical equipment, automated transportation systems, autonomous vehicles (woodies?), aircraft, nuclear facilities and manned spacecraft. Yes, this is real.

https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/

I don't know the point of this, except to see if anyone would notice. But what's this strange obsession with zombies?

At Least We Can Trust the CDC

The CDC is held up as the gold-standard in everything safety. They even offer advice for zombie preparedness. Yes, the CDC, whom we are all supposed to trust in perilous times, is more than willing to give tips on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Just add this to the stack of reasons to not trust the CDC.

https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm

When people point to the CDC for complete lifestyle changes and questionable injections, perhaps they should ask themselves why the CDC would waste resources and bandwidth for a non-event? They explain on the home page it's "tongue-in-cheek" to legitimize it, but let's be serious here. This is garbage. This should have been scrubbed a long time ago. People trust this organization with their lives and joking like this is likely not appreciated by most. This isn't the Babylon Bee.

Unless a persons know the truth, that the CDC is a political tool to manipulate people, only then does the joke make sense. The CDC is the joke and they're laughing at us.