Running to a place of stability.

in #life2 years ago
It's been a while and I sincerely miss being here, I decided to convert some of my thoughts into text and I sincerely hope that you find it enjoyable.

How I long for an atmosphere of complete quiet,
How I seek peace like never before,
This peace I had once considered irrelevant and I had greatly underrated,
Now strikes me as a complete necessity.
I really wish I had allowed myself to enjoy the atmosphere of peace a little bit more.
They say I acted from a spot of being childish,

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Maybe if I knew some of the things I knew now, I would have acted better,
Oh, how I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock,
Oh, how I wish that things could be different.
I had pushed him to a point of frustration,
I guess I was too blind to notice his effort,
Maybe if I had just given him a little more time,
But I must say that it wasn’t completely my fault anyways,
My parents were constantly on my case,
It looked as though I was completely wasting my time with him,
It was five years of being all loved up, but it didn’t look as if we were getting any better.
As quickly as I could, I moved on to what looked like a better option,
With the hope that it would be a place of bliss.
Unfortunately, it was not also a place of bliss as I had expected,
it was rather a place where I was unnoticed,
nothing I did seemed to please my supposed lover,
every day I feel like I am drowning in my own ocean of loneliness,
it seems as if I am irrelevant and unexistent in this relationship of mine,
as I drown every day in my own pool of tears.
once I remember the memories I once shared in my past, I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock.

Am I supposed to feel this way, Is my action even justifiable? Maybe it's all just my fault anyways.

Thanks for reading my quick rant, it is simply a made-up emotional write-up. Let me know what you feel in the comment section.