You are far from alone. I live with your twin across the pond. Not even the game of Candyland we were playing with the children last night can escape a perverted quip. I keep telling him he is going to have to practice toning that down in front of the children because it won't be too much longer before they understand:)
I highly recommend you get your own Big Dog. Dogs are always on the side of their master. And women like dogs. If Big Dog had been there at your side (literally and philosophically) when you told her she had a slimy mouth, she would have been softened by the adorableness of his face and taken your words so much gentler;)
That is such a familiar scenario. Oh the times I have had exactly the same warnings. Lol!
I have been working on the big Dog front. The obstacle is the Good LAdy. Everyone else is on board. Will keep chipping away, might make the time frames for when they are older.
Oh my husband didn't want all of our things either. It started with one dog. I broke him down and he agreed. Then, of course, he loved it. Then we got another, despite his misgivings, and of course, he loved it. Then we got chickens, which he wasn't so sure about, and he loves them...or at least agrees they serve a useful purpose and were a good idea. And then I hit him with children. Evil laughter He didn't want those either, but surprise - he loves them!
Now we have 2 guinea pigs, 2 rats, and 2 rabbits as well (although one dog has passed away.) And he loves them. Well, truth be told he wants to eat the rabbits. But he hasn't, and that is what is important!
Moral of this story: Spouses have no idea what they will actually love, and sometimes just need a little push ;)