I am Not Your Guy if You Want a Shoulder to Cry On.
Call me cold if you would like but this is who I am. When I was growing up I was over emotional like most young people. I would react to everything with emotion and logic would sit on the back burner. This caused havoc in my life. It was difficult to have quality friendships and I struggled at work.
Then after some time I recognized that it was my reactions that were destructive. When I look back at how I handled certain situations I know for a fact that if no emotion was involved that they would have turned out better. I also learned very early on that taking responsibility for my life was freeing. I stopped blaming others for my downfalls.
Years of Working in Mental Health.
For those who are new to my blog I need to let you know that I worked as a mental health counselor and nurse all together for 12 years. The most interesting years were the times in acute mental health (aka Psych Units).
I am going to tell you a story but leave out many parts to abide by HIPPA. I once had a client who wanted to commit suicide because they were depressed. They felt they had failed at being a parent because a child had committed suicide. I spent about two weeks with this person as they could not break the cycle of depression. Then one day I came to work and that person had been discharged. Typical of medicine, we don't keep a client long, just enough time to milk the insurance.
Then I come to work the following evening and I am told I have to go sit a 1:1 with a suicidal client. They loved to utilize me as a 1:1. I loved it because I got to read and most of the time the peron slept. When I arrived at the room it was the person from above. The client immediately started crying when I entered, apparently they took a knife to their stomach and tried to end it samurai style. I was so angry! I closed the door and said, "stop wasting my fucking time, next time go the whole way."
Source
The Client Actually Did Not Respond Negatively.
Instead they apologized and said that they will try their best to get better. I respected that and actually had many great conversations that night with them. They key takeaway for me is that the world has become so wishy washy. Humans are so afraid to speak their mind and tell it like it is. We would rather coddle the people and make them feel better about their poor decisions.
Tell People the Truth, Stop Supporting Unreal Expectations!
All my leaders growing up told me I was a very smart and would do big things in my life but they never told me that I was too emotional and conceded. What I really needed was someone who would take me under their wing and show me how life truly is. Instead of having a mentor I had to rely on books. It worked but I envy those who were able to find that person who helped them navigate life.
I have come to a very similar conclusion as yours. In addition, I have concluded that "No" is a very under-utilized word in modern "entitled" societies. I practice using it quite often :-)
And "no" is a complete sentence.
It is amazing how difficult it is to use in the beginning but once we learn how to use it properly it is so empowering.
Just one question when you refer to the patient as "they", did this person have multiple personalities or what does this plural mean?
Being ambiguous to protect the client.
I guess you could have also used "the patient", but ok I understand.
I need to confess in my work often to use the phrase No, but..... hmmmm - I am a bad boy
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