People are always blaming their lack of success on their environment, their boss, their family. Or even their friends, sometimes their childhood. I hear people complain way into their 40s. About things that happened in their youth and why they could not get what they wanted out of life because of those things. They are literally still blaming stuff from when they were a kid instead of learning through the tough experiences and focusing on the things in their lives that they can control.
You only control your opinion, not the situation
We can spend all day bitching about how much everything sucks and how unfair everything is. There are always so many things to bitch about. But bitching gets nothing done. Focusing on where you can improve and fix the situation is the best way to go.
Your choices and judgment.
You have to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, Even when it’s not your fault. While sometimes we are victims of poor circumstances, we still need to take responsibility for fixing them and moving forward. Otherwise, it is easy to get caught up in the emotions behind what happened and spend the rest of our lives struggling because of it. The person who may have inflicted the damage wins even more because we did nothing with our lives because of some stupid thing they did.
Constantly questioning your habits
Your habits determine your entire life. When we have unhealthy habits, it destroys our lives. When we have good habits, we reap the benefits constantly from them. Question everything that you do and try to think of better ways of doing it. Produce new habits that allow you to get closer to your goals. I started running at 12 years old, and now I am 29 and still run every day. Sometimes when I first started the habit, it was challenging to go out and run. It took willpower, but now it is automatic. I have gotten to the point where I feel Sick when I don't go for a run for the day. It is like a requirement. You can build all sorts of habits like this where it is just automatic, and you sit there and reap the benefits forever.
This is a fantastic reality check. If I fail, there's something I need to learn.
But i saw the environment do it!
...
..
.
This advice works for people with low self esteem
It does not work for people with no self esteem.
Imagine doubting yourself so much, that when asked to do something you do successfully very often (fix electrical) and that you respond, "yeah, i can probably do it"
These are people who suffer from CPTSD from early childhood trauma.
(Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Children who grew up in a place where they couldn't rely on their own two eyes.
No, seriously, look up gaslighting.
They often have a fear of success or a fear of failure (or both), and when i say fear, i mean irrational, soul destroying, standing on a tight rope and if you fail, you will be tortured, Your soul flayed, fear.
Many of these people do not even know that this childhood structure is what is holding them back. It often stays in the background, and only appears if you try anything new. If you step out of the prescribed area, all the alarm bells go off in your body.
These people need to be taught how to turn off the alarm bells (at least muffle them)
get in touch with their feelings, give their parental unit back all their shame.
And then they can begin on your above advice.