Mummy, Daddy. What would you do with my room if I died?
The Little Lady looked up from her book, her face pinched with worry.
I let out a small snorfle, the Little Lady had been reading like a fury throughout the summer holidays and as she was getting older, the books she was reading touched more and more on adult themes. Like death, loss, war and of course, Elves.
The Good Lady kicked me under the dinner table and threw me a look of thunder that told me to behave or there would be no naughty nipple suppers for me for some time.
Darling, we talked about this earlier. You don't have to worry about such things. We would keep your room exactly as it is.
The Good Lady smiled reassuringly at the Little Lady who was still looking pensive as if she had seen an advert on TV for tampons and realised that the future might not be all unicorns and rainbows.
The Little Lady shook her head.
No. No, Mummy. I am asking Daddy. Daddy, what would you do with my room if I died?
She gave me a look borrowed straight from Max Igan undressing for one of his peacocks.
I raised my gaze to the heavens and held my hands out as if feeling for rain.
Darling. Let's not talk about such morbid things. Nothing is going to happen to you.
I gave her my best Wise-Daddy eyes and smiled kindly at her to assuage her fears.
I am asking you because I know you will tell me the truth.
She stated firmly.
Oh, well, let me see...
I took in a big deep breath.
First I would strip all your twoddle out of your room. The bed, the desk, the little units you keep all your lego on. Everything. Everything! Strip it bare.
I leaned back in my chair, the new layout unfolding in my mind's eye.
Then I would get racks for my guitars and put them along the wall where your bed used to be. I would get some of that rubbish eggbox soundproof stuff and put it on the walls. After painting them black or some such evil. In fact, if I painted the walls black I would get spatters of red paint on it, and a big slogan. I dunno, like 'Death To All But Metal!'
I swung my arm out wide to the right.
Then I would get a mixing desk and recording studio and put it at that little nook by the window. A display for all my guitar pedals and some posters for the door. Slayer maybe?
I stood up, motioning at the wall behind the Little Lady.
And don't worry little one, I wouldn't forget you. I would get a bone sculpture for the wall above the mixing desk, something menacing and dark made out of bones. Maybe a demonic bone horse made out of cow bones for the irony? Don't worry, I wouldn't consider for a minute using your bones... That would be unseemly and maybe illegal.
I paused for breath and also to stop saying bones.
WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. MUMMY, DADDY'S MEAN!!
The Little Lady burst into a flood of tears and ran from the room.
The Good Lady stared at me, aghast.
What is wrong with you?
She tossed her head back in exasperation and ran off to comfort the Little Lady.
Hmmph, what was wrong with me? What was wrong with them?
Perhaps the Slayer poster was too much?
Pity. Especially when they ask for the truth...🤣
I know, if you ask you should be ready to take it!!
I love that clip 😃
I really thought it would take the left turn here and she would be on board with it all. It sounded quite exciting, minus the past where you thought about using her skeleton. Give it a few years when she is in the teenage angst where all the unicorns and rainbows blow away, into the sunset.
Le sigh.
It is said that Kayne West was the inspiration for the song. They hated him and that feeling drove them to sing Death to all but Metal. Ha!
I am glad you rectified the little princess before all was lost. All being your sense of chivalry. In case you forgot, the dictionary says it is the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak. I think your knightness is still intact.
I didn't know that but I could imagine it!
She still loves me. Just thinks I am a tit at times. Kind of like her mother only she is more leathery and immune to it all. I will be extra nice to her at bedtime! Maybe even for a few days! :OD
Of course, she loves you! You are still her hero. She is young and won't become allergic to your advice for years yet. Then they own us. :)
I can see that coming. So easily. She already tuts and laughs is Adobe of the things I say!!
Oh, my! She has a jump on it already! ;))
I can see my doom a'coming!
Be teafy for it!! It'll take you down!
I thought that this was going to go the other way.
The little lady jumped up screaming. "THAT'S AWESOME!!!!" why don't we start doing that now!!! I'll help you paint it black!!!!
But then ... the Good Lady would withhold her heavenly favours for twice as long....
No nipple suppers forever if that was the case!!
She normally does get all enthusiastic and join inwhen we are attempting to bait the Good Lady, I h=guess that sometimes you cant win!
No more nipple suppers for you it seems, next time just repeat what The Good Lady says 😛
You know that's a good strategy!! Just copy her. I am sorted now. Soon it will be nipple suppers ahoy again!!
Kids cry over the smallest of things these days...
Damn pampered wastrels. Bring back chain gangs for them, that's what I say!!
I miss the days when one could simply lock them in the cellar for the weekend then go drinking in the next town over.
I know, now with all these woke warriors we can only lock em up and go local. It's just not the same.
Can't even use their breath to start the car without getting dirty looks...
I tried fastening one to the front of my cart to save the Pony's hooves and you should have seen the looks I got as we limped into town!
People have no respect for ponies anymore.
I apologize for reading your conversation here haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I apologize for reading your conversation here haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hi! I understand that you don't remember me fromsteemit, I would even say you don't know me, but I found HIVE thanks to you. I will try to post about it in the next few days. Thank you!!!! )))))))
You know, I saw the discord notification that you had commented and recognised the name and wondered why it was so familiar! I shall follow you to see, feel free to tag me in case I miss it!
HERE you go :)
Ah, there is the tale!
Ah, there is the tale!!
Thanks for linking Max Igan. It was split between sentences on my screen so I thought it was one word. Had no clue wtf a Maxigan was.
Hahaha, one word might make all the difference! It is a pleasure to link to those eyes! :OD
Yep def the slayer poster and the kick under the table want hard enough 😬 listen I know you have a dream for the guitar-mix-posterkid room BUT it’s not your time. So go to the little princess and tell her to ask the question again
You now know what to answer
You will
Leave her room untouched and only do one wall with guitars and stuff
I did talk to her, I said I was only joking and I would put a little picture of her on the windowsill. She had recovered by then and said she was going to Kung Fu me for being annoying :OD
Yeah you went way overboard with that Slayer poster. Next time try something a bit more tame like Ozzy Osbourne biting off a dove's head or something.
Ozzy!! That would be tamer. Unless it was Ozzy 2021 which is a fan sight more frightening than anything I've seen in ages. See this strangely youthful man with his century old eyes mumble like a pensioner and cream like an old beached shipwreck!
I'm not sure what you're talking about but it sounds terrifying so I will avoid looking any further into it :)
I don't know which of them is his wife anymore...
Hmm. The one on the right?
Is that a wife?
Your guess is as good as mine. I've never had a wife before so I have no idea what they're supposed to look like.
Hi @meesterboom , I know you are joking, but if we are going to analyze the space should be used when a person is not there, the only bad thing here is that the little lady is still in this world, I imagine the face of the good lady when you were making plans with the Little lady's room, I can't laugh, but I do think about being practical ,you'll see if you rent me that room, I'm lying jaaaaaaaaaa
Yes, I think they didn't take my joke very well!! I will have to be more outlandish next time so that they knew I don't really mean it!
Hahaha, I read this to Marian and she said, Oh no is that Meesterboom again?
Sanity in the little ones are scarce nowadays, as it sounds like a perfect explanation to me :)
I thought it was a great explanation and even better because its true! Its exactly what I would do! :D
Sorry for the late reply, as I am a bit under the weather these days.
One has to do as one does. I can't remember who said this, but I think it was some scottish poet :)
Those bloody Scots!!!
I hope your are ok mate? Take care and get plenty of rest!
Brave hearts, or acting like bloody brave hearts, every scot that I have met here my friend :)
Thank you and blessings to you and the missus.
We all act like it. It's in the blood. That or stupidity.. :0)
Cheers matey!
Hahaha, good night from South Africa my friend.
Wicked wicked daddy, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see both the Good and the Little Lady's faces when you responded with this scary story!
That fly would also have wanted to see your actions while telling this story!
I was very animated. The whole idea was exciting. Until I saw her fallen face and realised a big ooops!!
That must have been quite a shock...for all of you👀
Ach no, we are a resilient bunch. They are mostly used to me ;0)