Well, am afraid it's no good news.
The Roofer shook his head and tutted softly as he looked at me and then my garage roof.
He was a big guy, although it's not politically correct to say such things he was as fat as fuck. And very red, he looked like a big hessian bag full of minced beef with a hole at the top for his head.
Surely, in the business of fixing people's roofs which required actually getting on top of their roofs and walking about on them, it paid not to be obese?
I mean he was bound to cause some damage hauling that kind of weight about a roof?
Ah, of course. Perhaps that was the whole point.
I realised I was obviously dealing with a very fat but also very clever roofer.
Best approach this one with caution.
What exactly is the problem with it?
I asked carefully, in case he decided to drop and roll over me, smearing me to the driveway like salmon paste.
Beef-Roofer looked from side to side as if worried he would be overheard and then said in a regretful voice.
It's your wood. It's rotten. Needs tearing out.
He waved airily at the roof above us.
Frowning, I turned my head to the side and examined him as if he were a bag full of meat.
My wood was rotten? How fucking dare he? I wasn't having this.
Whit's rotten?
I said, my face gnarled up like a Frenchman eating a stale croissant.
Yer woods rotten.
Whit dae ye mean, rotten?
It's rotten. The timber, you know?
I took a step back. The timber?? What, were we in a forest now? Was he a lumberjack? Should I be looking out for a falling tree?
Although I doubted that very much, I snapped a sneaky look around in case a tree I was not aware of was even now plummeting down from the heavens to kill me.
Nothing. This man was blatantly full of shit.
Timber?
I made a mew face at even having to say the word.
Aye, the timber... the wood. You know, the wood on your roof is rotten. It needs torn out in places and replaced. It won't be cheap.
Beef-Roofer said, a hint of exasperation creeping into his tone.
You're saying my wood is rotten?
I said incredulously.
My wood? I mean, I had two kids. This man obviously had no idea. If the Good Lady heard him coming out with this nonsense she would be at him like a Doberman over a dried pig's ear.
Aye. It's ROTTEN??!
Beef-Roofer was getting annoyed by the looks of it. Then again he might just have been imagining he was getting fritters for tea, he had that kind of face.
Alright then. Say it is rotten. How much will it be to fix it?
Beef-Roofer calmed down almost immediately as he sensed himself back on a secure footing.
Yer talking about 3 thousand all in. That includes everything and a ten-year guarantee against further leaks. I can get my team out in two weeks. How does that sound?
He smiled, if it hadn't been the days of COVID he looked as if he would reach out to shake my hand.
Sounds alright. I will be in touch.
I smiled back too,
Be in touch... Ha, will I fuck.
Sometimes, when your timber is deemed to be a little rotten ... what you really need to do is whip out your caulk. (Say it out loud ... we'll wait).
If you know how to handle your caulk, then you can compensate for rotting timber. Just stream your caulk everywhere. If there's a crack, fill it with caulk. If there's a hole, fill it with caulk. If something looks a little loose ... you guessed it ... hit it with caulk.
Once your caulk has been everywhere, everything will be stuck together and no-one will remember anything about your timber.
But keep an eye out for moisture damage. Even though your caulk can plug that hole ... if it's been moist for a while, there will be signs ....
Have you seen this? It's a skit along the same lines.
Brilliant!!!!
Hehe, yeah! Although I have never really handled caulk I think I would be a dab hand at spreading it about. Lol, caulk indeed. I genuinely didn't think it was a thing outside pirate tales from centuries ago!! :0)
Roofer, Rotten? Damn I missed a lot - new words for me German language noob, write about beer - this is what I get
!BEER
Lol. I like the new words!! Cheers man!!
this is so funny and ehe is not going to roll over you and why should a roofer be obese? just climbing the roof will damage the roof to a certain extent ... what a poor fat man
I couldn't help but think. Man, you stand on my roof and it's coming down!!
i can imagine... he might just climb the roof and fall through... extra expenses ... a pork roofer wont climb my roof. Don#t let him climb your roof... you are so hilarious anyways
Hehe, cheers man.
Aye, the wood couldn't have been that bad because it took his weight!
you allowed him? how were you feeling while he was up there?
I felt quite happy that it could take his weight! Wouldn't want him up there for any length of time right enough
Haha...this is so funny. Guess covid-19 has really halt alot. Thanks for sharing really made me smile "an obesse beef-roofer"..hahaha. Anyway i am a newbie looking forward to more of your post.
Pleased to meet you, I hope you are enjoying the place!
Yes, they are trying to charge top dollar because they haven't had much business for a while!
Yes i am enjoying it. Thanks for the information
Hello dear friend @meesterboom good afternoon
Now that you mention it, I had not paid attention that all the roof repairers that I met, they were all fat, perhaps you are right, it is to cause some damage to the roof and have your job insured.
I think he wanted to charge you to stay a whole month without working. 3000 is a lot of money.
I hope that your roof is nothing serious and you can solve it in a more economical way
have a great week dear friend
Haha! I am glad you have had the same experience with them. Perhaps they are all day on the money that they rip from their poor victims!!! :0)
Lol rotten or not, if it can be set alight and grill a piece of meat its all good to me
If it wasn't so wet it would probably do a good burning!
Haha.... this is hilarious! How did you even in good conscience allow him to climb your roof
I thought he would just have a look, I didn't expect him to start dancing like an angry hippo all over it!
Fix yer roof yerself and score heavy savings bro.
When you strip the first beam (not your pecker) the first wooden beam look how it was assembled and repeat the process to install the new beam. Then it just becomes a repetitive application.
If I had the time I would, Ican't fit in in... OOER!!!!
Yep, time is always an issue.
I am doing our own carport roof, but luckily had much training, as used to work as a construction carpenter in my early days.
Also had my own small roofing company at some stage.
Amazing to see how the contractors are ripping people off. Small jobs become big jobs at top dollar.
Ah, yuppy have the know how!!
I have repaired it myself a few times but it was badly built which the hit said and I can see is true. It probably needs a bit of professional work but not at his price!
Good luck with your roof! When my kids are older I hope to be taking on such things myself!
Yeah, as I said, prices arec crazy, unless you can find a private guy that knows about roofs. They are normally found when you enquire in pubs lol. I got many private jobs in my drinking days.
Our roof is easy as some cheapskate put shadenetting on the carport to serve as a roof.
It's okay for the sun, but when it rains we are drenched before we can get into the car and when it dries out the car is in a mess.
I will remove the mesh and install a wooden frame to suit solid metal sheeting. Easy.
Fuck me if you’ve got rotten wood you can get snide viagra from many an Indian website; for very little financial outlay !
I think I would be wanting bonafide Viagra!!! Hehe
😂
Beef Roofer. Lol😂😂 It sounds like a possible name for a chicken breed. Beef roofer rooster, best rooster which tastes like beef, only it's chicken 🐓😂😂😂😂
That sounds like a fine beast to eat!! Get gene splicing!!!
Hahaha. A rooster with cow horns. Dunno that would look so weird. Especially if it would fly on top of your roof lol😂😂
Well that would be it, the roof would be fucked then 🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha true, then you would really be in trouble
It took me a ridiculously long time to work out why you were getting so uppity about rotten wood XD
Hahaha, no man accuses my wood of being rotten!!! :0D
I'm so sorry. Truly. :(
You had me going there for a moment! As if you would report that here. I would have to go to some secret site where you knock three times and give a 17 digit number and letter code to get in.
!tip worthy
My wood is sacrosanct!! How dare he imply otherwise. The roof is alright too :0D
This is one of those times where pictures are not necessary. I believe you, and I wouldn't use him just for the insinuation! How dare he, indeed. Well, better go check out the League! My activity has taken a beating. Otherwise known as sleeping on the job.
Happy Sunday!!
Aha, my drunken maudling last week saw me drop from the heady heights to the terrible lows. Must pull the finger out this week!
Beef-Roofer.. shouldn't that be Pork-Roofer?
I get this with the gardening blokes, 'that will be £400', when it really should be £150.
They always try it on, get 3 quotes,, one will be good, the other two dumb!
I almost thought Pork-Roofer but pork just wasn't that deep enough of a red colour to describe him!!
I have another two quotes lined up to come. I mean he is just going to felt it, I think 3K might be exaggerating just a bit!!
I think they know that.., 'I will let you know', really means fuck off, ur too expensive!
Aye, they realise it's a I'm getting other quotes you robbing bastard type thing. Some of them are just such chancers. This got was recommended too!
A combination of your rotten roof and this bloke, you did the right thing..
Maybe I could have nailed him to the roof, he might just about cover it like that!! 🤣🤣
That would be two birds with one stone. Waterproof and fully insulated. ;-)
lol... really?? pork thats harsh
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Well, I figure, if the roof can carry the heavy weight, the TIMBER is still great!!
Poetry!!! Hehe, I agree. The roof is staying. At least until I get some other men out to tromp all over it!
Bueno en vase a la experincia personal de cada uno, todo trabajo tiene que ser perfecto, me agrado tu post, gracias por compartir.
¡gracias por leer!
You must have a pretty decent sized garage. I try to always get a couple quotes. I never met an honest contractor and I have met a lot of them!
My garage is quite spectacularly long. The genus who built it made it long enough for two cars. Which I find odd. Obviously they decided to skip on the roof part. I have another chap lined up and trying to get another, they are a slippery breed around here to get a hold of especially after the covid!
What is your problem?
Why are you downvoting my posts?
You buy votes from Tommy Hansen
I have sent 2 hive in past asking for his support but since then I haven't sent him anything. I didn't ask him to vote on my posts since then, he is doing it on his own.
Or if you have any proof of me buying votes from him, I'll downvote my own posts.
If not, remove your downvotes.
What an astonishing coincidence!
Let me get it straight.
You send him money he votes on your posts.
But he's doing it on his own.... Astonishing!
Downvotes stay
Show me the proof.
You show me the proof!
You are the one making accusations, so you my dear are the one who has to prove them.
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