I know I wrote about this before.
But I just want to appreciate it for as long as it lasts.
I don't mean to downplay the suffering so many are going through now. Nor to be ungrateful to my amazing boss. It's because of him that I'm able to enjoy this period without too much stress.
But this new at home life suits me just fine. I've settled into a routine that fits more comfortably than a pair of old sweatpants.
I'm up by 6:00 AM. I write for two to four hours in the morning, longhand.
It's weird. You'd think it would be easier to type, but for some reason the physical action of pen on paper unblocks the mind, so that with every sentence I'm physically able to write, my brain is ready with three more.
I'm just scribbling whatever comes to mind. I didn't want to start some kind of ambitious project because I didn't know how long we'd have; yet the repetition of this routine is starting to bring along a few things that surprise and delight me. The trick, it seems, is showing up and sitting in the chair, and then not taking anything too seriously.
It takes hours to do it right, but it feels like minutes.
I fry up a hearty brunch. Check in with work emails and messages. Tidy up the house, then practice piano for a couple hours, or work on some other satisfying project like tinkering with computers or mowing the lawn. Or I go for a run.
Then I take a nap.
I throw together a sandwich or a cup-noodle lunch and check in with a couple of Twitch streamers. (Who knew, some of them are a heck of a lot more entertaining than movies or TV.) Browse a few websites, and see if I’m getting sleepy again. Maybe take a second nap.
Then I go back to the office and type up whatever I wrote in the morning, sorting it into journals, blog posts, or fiction folders.
Maybe I rough draft a bit more in the evening so I can leave a “wet edge” for my mind to start on in the morning. Then The Wife and I pick out something to watch for an hour or two before bed. Youtube, usually. There's a lot of creativity flowering on the internet these days and it's not coming through Hulu or Netflix.
I might have some kind of snack, but never dinner. (Food is the last thing on my mind through all this.) Then I read in bed for about 30 minutes until I fall asleep, usually by 10 PM.
I thought I'd be drunk through all of this.
But I’m not drinking. Why would I? It would interfere with all the stuff I’m enjoying, the stuff I want to remember.
I’m not over-eating. Food’s just an obligation. Never really cared for food, and I don’t eat out of boredom or stress. Besides, for once in my life I’m not bored or stressed. I’ve got no interest in the finer points of cooking. It’s just not my thing.
Beyond a quick scan of the headlines, I’m not watching the news. Why obsess over things I can’t influence or control? I’m not thumbing through social media, beyond checking up on what a few dear friends are up to; I filter out those posters who dwell on politics or news. I’ve made a point not to install Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter on the cell phone; social media is so viciously calibrated to keep you scrolling for hours, even as it makes you feel worse. So I’ll check Facebook on the PC, and limit myself to five minutes.
I’m so grateful I don’t have to teleconference via Zoom or Discord.
Not only because those apps are riddled with security holes designed to harvest personal data, but because I’m comfortable with this solitude in a way I’ve rarely felt comfortable in my life. I don’t want to open myself up to new ways of losing it.
Please don’t take any of this as a judgment on people who use these tools or do these things. We all have different needs and desires, and I’m just sharing what works for me. I want to express some gratitude for the situation I find myself in, and the contentment it has brought, because I know it’ll end soon.
I don’t think anyone who has known me for a long time would describe me as a “happy person.” So believe me, it’s a hell of a shock to discover that, for the time being at least, I am.
I know I’m not alone.
I’m seeing other expressions of contentment here and there.
Most surprisingly, on anonymous message boards. These sites are usually toxic pits of frustrated potential suicides lashing out as they try to make sense of a world that holds nothing for them. (It's what gives them their dark energy.)
Suddenly they're riddled with expressions of happiness and repose:
People home from the city and locked in with their families, discovering life is “comfy” and hoping it never ends.
Kids lifting weights and going for walks and picking up hobbies and reading classic literature because they’re not trapped all day in college or high school classrooms where the required reading is The Hunger Games.
People turning to faith as a form of rebellion because they’re told they can’t go to church, so suddenly they want to. (Now that governments are saying “Stay at home, stare at your screens, mail-order wine and smoke medical marijuana,” those old forms of rebellion just don’t seem as exciting as they used to.)
There’s still loads of shite on those boards, but suddenly I see more creativity flowering in the manure.
Finally, there are things I always told myself I'd do if I had the time.
But I’m just not getting around to them.
Like video games. My computers are old, and I don’t have a console, but I used to love to spend hours digging deep into Minecraft while sipping scotch. It still runs fine on my old laptop, but without the booze, I can't focus on it for more than ten minutes.
I’ve got loads of other old stuff in my Steam library that could eat up hours gaming time. None of it appeals.
I thought of using a bit of that stimulus money to finally build a proper desktop for the new Flight Simulator. That Subnautica game looks pretty gorgeous. And Mud Runner? Oddly compelling. But I find that watching Limmy play it for a few minutes while I eat a sandwich does enough to scratch that itch.
And there’s my candid photography project.
I’ve been clicking away at it for years. The streets of Boston might be deserted today but I’ve got over 30,000 pictures of people and crowds and bustling streets that deserve a bit of editing and visual storytelling and sharing. I haven’t opened up my photos folder even once.
The problem is, I sit down with a pen and a piece of paper, and I blink, and the day is over.
It’s all going by so fast.
Are you enjoying your quarantine?
Even a little? Is there anything about it that you like?
Unless otherwise stated, photography is the work of the author. Feel free to copy, remix and share photographs from this post according to the terms of a Creative Commons Attribution Sharealike 4.0 International license.
Camera divider and signature illustration by @atopy.
I'm very happy to hear that you are HAPPY! WOOT WOOT!
Oh and if you ever get around to booting up minecraft there is a cool private server we could play on together! 🤓 No that I'm encouraging you to start drinking! hahaha :D :D :D
That's cool! Survival or creative world?
Survival, but there are a lot of different farms to help out and lots of cool commands as well that make life a lot easier!