Silence and Loneliness
Most of those like me who have gone through depression know what silence and loneliness are all about. It is one of the crippling attributes that we somehow imbibed, and it remained with us, driving us crazy. To understand the extent of the problem, people in such circumstances not only feel lonely but yearn for it, even in a crowded place with acquaintances. I have no clue why. Because once we get the loneliness that we ask for, we feel miserable all the more.
This vicious cycle drives a person lower and lower and then starts the never-satisfying need to divert attention through social media, sleep, or any other form of non-productive and low-energy activities. And most of us know that the diversions don’t help. They just keep eating into whatever energy is still left, and the result is feeling further helpless and miserable.
But the good news is that we can get out of here much like I could. Everything crumbles when God’s grace gushes forth. For that, all we have to do is seek His help. The help comes, and it does melt away our problems. Just be sure to notice the difference.
The Difference | What Difference?
Much of the horrors of depression is because of the unending chatter in our heads, and that is one of the main reasons we don’t want to be with others. The chatter starts judging, ridiculing, hating others, and tells us how others are not good for us. That is one of the many reasons for us seeking solitude. Because we erroneously think others are bad, but more than that, we want the chatter to stop. But it doesn’t.
The thing is, when help does arrive from God in whatever form, the demons of depression run away, leaving a pretty big void. The chatter is gone, and there is a visible emptiness. Now, if we don’t know what to do with the emptiness, we can mistake it for the very thing that left us.
The silence and loneliness this time is not depression. How do we know the difference? There is no chatter. There is only peace. The problem with us is that we mistake the silence for what we have been accustomed to believing so far - that things are not right, and things are not working out. And in no time, we have a relapse.
Relapse? What do I mean?
Relapse | Just Like In Addiction | It’s About Getting Used to the New | And Letting Go Of the Old
I am not saying depression is addiction, but depression, if it lasts too long, has made us accustomed to it. We don’t know what to do when we have our powers back. We don’t know what to do with the freedom. That’s where the issue of slipping back to depression rears its ugly head.
By no means is God’s grace so easy to whittle away. But, definitely, God’s grace needs recognition. We need to recognize that we have been delivered. That’s when we start to plan our independence. We need to look forward and move forth in confidence. Remember, we haven’t done this for so long that we don’t even know how to start. Take God’s help, take your friend’s help, take whatever help you can to find out what you can do. That would be the first step to get into a routine. A new routine.
Be kind to yourself if you find yourself a bit low. Why? Because you don’t know how to handle peace. You don’t know what to do with freedom. And that’s ok. The important thing is to know and acknowledge that you have God’s peace and freedom. Thank Him and be grateful for what you have. Start noticing the difference and take up something to do. Something constructive. Fill your time with positive and loving attempts, which include work, self-talk, acknowledging family, etc. Get into the groove. This is the new reality.
The more the new is acknowledged and practiced, the more it will become second nature. That’s all that needs to be done. You are in unfamiliar territory, and hence, you feel overwhelmed in the beginning. But as you start experiencing this state more, you start becoming comfortable, and you will start loving it more.
The New Reality | Understand It | And Replace the Old
The new reality needs a new shift in perception. The need to kill time by inviting distractions gets replaced by the need to fill time with constructive things. The need to shy away from social gatherings gets replaced by gratefulness for our social circle. The habit of hating the silence is replaced by the acknowledgement of God’s presence in that silence.
So, understand that the change you desired has happened. You may lose joy for some time, but that’s ok. Once you get used to the new reality, the joy will return, and it will be way more than you ever imagined. And this time, the joy is not dependent on anything or anyone. It is here to stay. And that’s how we move from pain to a heart filled with gratitude.
A heart filled with appreciation and gratefulness for God the Father, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit will automatically fill your world with joy!!
Image Courtesy: Lonely - Saydung at Pixabay(dot)com