There's a pile of laundry not yet packed away and a sink full of unwashed dishes, but I'm letting it slide tonight because today was a day of keeping promises and loving care.
My little one has been going through a bit of a rough patch. She is a bright, fun-loving, full of life personality and she wears her heart on her sleeve.
A couple days ago we went to an informal house-warming/playdate thing next door and LL was super excited to meet Amelia who is a relative of our neighbour.
Things seemed to start off well enough and I had packed activities that both girls could do together. Puzzles, colouring pages and a "keepy uppy" balloon filled with confetti I figured were good choices.
Amelia seemed a bit shy and reserved at first but slowly the interaction seemed to ramp up and I thought it was going well when they were playing tag with each other in the front yard.
Unfortunately things started devolving at some point a little while later and Amelia seemed to be less interested in interacting with LL and more withdrawn.
LL just wanted to get her back to the sunny side of the visit and tried to sit next to her, tried to ask her questions, tried to tickle her to get her to laugh.
After realising that none of this seemed to be working, LL gave up and decided to rather play "keepy uppy" with the balloon with the adults as Amelia didn't want to play and I had reminded LL to not try and force her to if she didn't feel like it.
We actually had quite a bit of fun and soon she had roped almost everyone into the game.
Soon after this Amelia started having a bit of a meltdown and her parents decided it was time to leave. I agreed and started packing up puzzles, felt tip markers and the like and getting our belongings in order. We left shortly thereafter.
For the next 2 hours LL had an emotional meltdown and I listened, talked, explained and comforted as best I could. She could not understand why Amelia "hated" her as she put it. She also expressed feelings of anger, frustration and hurt towards me for not spending enough time with her. She let it all out. I listened and tried to understand from her perspective. I apologized for her feeling the negative things she did and asked questions so that she could work through the emotions and we could come to a point where she could be ok enough to sleep (by this time she was overtired and desperately needed to reset). We eventually got there.
I enquired the following day if Amelia was ok and what the cause of the issue was. I was told that she had been feeling jealous of how cute and adorable everyone thought LL was. This was so sad to hear because LL wasn't being anything other than her absolute authentic self. My kid has got her first hater at the age of 5. I felt bad for Amelia feeling that way when LL had tried so hard to help her feel better, to no avail.
I also felt really bad for my kid because she felt so utterly rejected.
Today I left most of my work to the side so that I could spend some time playing with her. She wanted to pretend that she ran a hospital, so we played that, she wanted to run "LL's best salon" so I made her a sign, she put some makeup and stuff on her table and I became her customer.
We spoke to each other as if I was her first client of the day. She repainted my nails, brushed my hair and gave me an exfoliating face scrub (with toothbrushes and aqueous cream) which was actually really nice, then I let her do my makeup. I only vaguely resembled Robert Smith - she's not even 5 yet.
We had dinner together in the "lounge bed" and watched The Wild Kratts before bath time.
I asked if she had a good day playing together and having mommy-daughter day and she said "Mommy I didn't like it - I loved it!" That made my heart smile. She's a sweet kid. Pure of heart, gentle, loving, stubborn as all hell, but she's also really sensitive just like me. I know that I need to be there for her to help her through these big emotions and the hard days. So there's a pile of laundry and some dirty dishes...who cares? I had far more important things to take care of.
Oh no...so sorry to hear this, @andrastia, but I'm so glad she has you. I cannot emphasis enough on how essential it is to have a positive, caring and engaged mother.
(I never did, and although I turned out okay, it was so much harder)
Props to you x
Annabelle 😊
Hi Annabelle
Thank you for coming by, I must say it was hard hearing her go through that, I felt like my heart was breaking, but she's growing up and these feelings will happen. I do what I can to make it easier but it's her journey and I will try to teach her resilience to get through these things.
I had an emotionally absent mother too so you and I are in the same boat. I guess this is my opportunity to do it differently.
Have a splendid day 🌷 sending hugs
Hugs readily accepted, lol! Sorry to hear you had a emotionally absent mother - it does give a "how not to" guide for LL though.
Annabelle 😊
Aw man, there's no heartbreak quite like the heartbreak you feel for your children. I think we get it worse than they do, and that's a feeling they won't appreciate until they get their own.
Play day must have been nice, though! Makeover must have been fantastic. 😉 It's terrific that you put the time aside for her. That means just soooo much to the little ones, and that time they do appreciate right now.
Hi Victor.
It's hard, I know you experience similar and have to try navigate it too. We do the best we can.
Makeover day was good fun, I could see how much she was lapping up the time we spent together and that's what counts. Can't deny it - I loved being pampered 😊
Have a super week!
Best times ever mother daughter day. Especially after what happened.
Sorry to hear that she encountered this.
Big hug 🤗 to both of you.
Hi @littlebee4
Thank you for the hugs, hugs always help!
It was a fun day yesterday and worked well to reset her vibe, she's much more herself this morning so I'm calling it a win.
Hope you are having a lovely Monday 💐
Hi @andrastia 😁👋🏻 Morning!
That’s great to hear she is better already a bit this morning. It sure is a win 🥰
Yep… huggsss always do the trick 🤗🤗🤗 a few more for you and her.
Thank you kindly, so far it’s a good morning. Enjoy yours too ☀️
I have two daughters. 6 and 11. I still have tough time with Trisha, my six year old. For example, this Monday morning she is completely reluctant to go to school. There are only one more day of school left after today, so not that anything important is happening there, but it is basically a daycare now for me to work. I felt bad because I couldn’t let her sleep in. Guilt…
Yes, tantrum’s are part of my life too.
Hi Azircon
Thank you so very kindly for your generosity! I am humbled and very grateful, that will go a long way. I know that a simple thank you message does not do it justice at all, but I am very appreciative.
Hope you have a really lovely day, you have made LL and mine so much easier and better 🌼
You are welcome. But don’t say that too much. I am not a very popular guy like Galen, ask him and he will tell you :)
Thank you for your contribution to hive.
Hi Azircon
I totally understand where you are coming from. Generally when you do the right thing and you stand up for principles, that's what happens, I've been in that position myself. When I worked in conservation my manager used to say "If you are doing what is right, you will be disliked by the general public - take it as a compliment".
Hello Azircon
Thank you so much for the vote on my post, I am very grateful. I think that this age group of LL and Trisha is a bit of a tough one because they are so desperately wanting to be independent but also so badly wanting to maximize time with us, so there's this internal conflict. You are also at the tweens stage with your eldest. How well do they get along with the 5 year age gap?
One day at a time and the tantrums are part and parcel, even as adults we still occasinally have our own meltdowns lol.
You are welcome, and its not about the vote. I see that you are doing good with hive, we need more individuals like you in this platform.
4.5 year age gap to be precise. Fighting. A lot of fighting. But Lia, the elder (as I like to call her), is the only help I can find, when the tanturm is hard. Lia the elder is the Kryptonite when I need to slay the tantrum dragon!
That compliment coming from you means a lot to me, thank you!
I thought that might possibly be the case. I had a 4 year gap with my one sister and it wasn't pleasant most of the time. Describing Lia as the Kryptonite to the tantrum dragon made me smile, she clearly knows her stuff. The tantrum whisperer 😁
By the way, thank you again for those links, that PDF was really interesting and I enjoyed learning more about Rio Grande rift geology. I'm still trying to get my head around the different volcanoes but I find it all fascinating - my mom gave me a bit of background, but not in depth. She had a kinship with the earth and in depth knowledge that I wish I had.