Last year, as millions of people have thus lamented, was a bit of a corker. However, during the time of the great lockdown an institution was conceptualized and hatched on my farm that has evolved into something enduring and perhaps a bit terrifying. I am talking about Fort Cankles.
Fort Cankles' origin story is not one of grandiose heraldry or pompous fanfare, rather it was the brain child of two teenage boys during a time of personal ensconcing at the behest of our government. During lockdown my son's best friend basically lived on the farm with us. The previous summer he had given my son the nickname Lt. Cankles on a trip to Silverwood, as my son is in possession of some gloriously dummy thicc ankles, well legs in general, hello Hawaiian genetics, but that aside, the Cankles moniker plays an important part in this tale.
"Mom, can we use some of the tin? We are gonna build a fort." My younger offspring inquired during the first part of quarantine last year. Part of me bristled a tiny bit at the inquiry, as our leftover, vintage tin is all the rage with the Pinterest crowd, and the thought of it going to use on something as bland as a kid's fort when it could be some hipster's shower stall seemed a bit off to me, but I stomped on my inner capitalist and gave the boy the go ahead. "Help yourself." I told him with a genuine smile.
Over the years we have torn down a couple of interesting North Idaho structures. I am talking about the single wide trailer enclosed in a building kind, so I have a more than a few respectable piles of salvaged building supplies. For days Comrade E and Lt. Cankles could be heard dragging tin and hammering in the pine patch they had selected to be their fort grounds. I didn't pay them much attention.
A few days later they came and collected me for a tour. Comrade E refers to me as the Commissar, a title that I must admit warms the cockles of semi-dictatorial heart. I felt like a visiting general I as strolled out the front door towards the fort my mind full of wonder at what awaited me.
I certainly didn't expect Fort Cankles, which was the fortification's newly christened name. It was a tin and barbed wire edifice that struck me right in the awe button. There was not one but two areas to explore, the common area and the sleeping area. A rock fire pit been constructed in the common area, and a wall made out of milk creates enclosed the sleeping area, which also had a nice tin roof. I was impressed.
"Do you think it will survive an incursion?" I inquired as I strolled around the exterior of the fort, my hands in my pockets as if I were checking the candies I had saved for later will still there.
"Oh, we have expansion plans, Commissar. See this area here," Comrade E spoke as he pointed to a bunch of sawed off tree stumps which resembled punji sticks, "We are going to dig a trench here so we have a more defensible position."
"Mmm, hmm, and why is that trench pointed at the south yet you have no battlements to the north where the invaders have a much more strategic entry point." I replied.
"That's what the mines are for." he replied.
I raised an eyebrow and took in Comrade E's form. He was clad in his favorite outfit, camouflage cargo shorts and a red floral panama shirt. His goal is to be an ironic Bugaloo Boy just to mess with people, but his paltry attempts at smart donkeyness don't work on me, I have second hand listened to him playing Risk, COD zombies, and Axis and Allies for far too many hours.
"Mines are lazy warfare, what you need are sacrificial bodies." I stated.
"Oh, we are going to start a cult." he returned in his most deadpan tone.
Fast forward a year to this past weekend. My son, Comrade E, and our two neighbor heathens all congregated after marksmanship class at the range in CDA with the plan to continue Ft. Cankles expansion. I have started referring them all as the Cankles Clan, as they are pretty tight with each other at this point. I even inquired if they had a clan gang sign while I baked them pineapple cupcakes. They all honked and flashed hand gestures that probably would get them at least looked at menacingly in certain parts of the world, and then grabbed their AR's, the shotgun, about a metric ton of hot dogs and headed out to Fort Cankles for formation, or something.
On Saturday evening I was invited to inspect the expansion of the fort, to my surprise I saw that they had annexed what looked like a holding pen made out of tin walls and strands of barbed wire.
"Are you planning on ritualistic sacrifice?" I queried.
My son just giggled and said, "Mooommmm" in his most amused-exasperated teenage boy tone. Comrade E though, he rose to the occasion.
"Well, we have decided to become a commune, and my mom told me about how in the 80's people would get invited to 'church' then the people who ran the place would lock them in, and tah dah, you have converts! Isn't that great."
"Your expansion strategy lacks creativity Comrade, I expect better." I replied with as much disdain as I could muster, "Uncertain times require outlandish solutions!"
Comrade E broke into one of his goofy smiles and got that look he gets before blurting out something that probably would get him arrested or at the very least institutionalized if he were dwelling in a west coast state. I told him to carry on and come in for a restorative cupcake at 1900 before taking a look at the rest of Fort Cankles.
The level or organization and engineering impressed me. The boys have put a lot of thought into their fort. In fact it has evolved over the past year into something far more than a we should idea. Fort Cankles represents the creativity and fun that I believe resides inside all of us. So much of what it means to be human is being squelched by the control crowd, and as long as I can provide a haven for whimsy and creating I shall do so, even if they have a mummified rabbit for a mascot....
It's a fine story! 😀
Why thank you good sir! I tried to include intrigue without tetanus, with a bit of roasted hot dog flair! LOL:)
That's quite the fort, far beyond anything my brothers built...
It's definitely an epic edifice for sure. My bro and I were more of the hay fort or alder teepee type of fort constructors, so the Cankles Clan's commitment to construction is a bit inspiring.:)
Looks like you are ready for just about anything! The young comrades did an excellent job☺️
@reddust! I was literally just wondering about you the other day! It is so good to hear from you and I meandered over to bask in the awesomeness that is your art. Hope all is well, and I will tell my herd of comrades of your compliment:)
I am looking forward to your stories, they are awesome and so is your family, much love <3
It's a worthy use of your old tin scraps. I'm impressed.