I have always had an addictive personality and can easily be peer pressured into doing things I don’t really want to do but end up doing anyways.
I’ve been fighting the “Demon” for as long as my brain can remember. I think everyone has bad habits and we can rate them at different levels if we’d like but really none are any worse then the next.
I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve tried to quit and struggled on my journey. I lived a hidden life of lies and self guilt to please my Demon. Today is the day that I take over my life for once and for all.
For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to it’s Gambling. I have been addicted to gambling for ever. I’ve lost so much money and told so many lies to keep this addiction going. I have struggled really hard for years and years. I developed a severe case of anxiety and have panic attacks and trouble relaxing and even falling asleep at night.
Step 1 in changing my life is recognizing that I have a massive problem and telling everyone the truth about everything.
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We love you so very much. Step #1 is always admitting it. Some never do and they live in denial their whole life and die that way. Others figure it out and work on it early and some later. It does not matter when as long as it happens. You know there are so many addictions you are not alone. Drinking, gambling, sleeping around the town, drug addictions, workaholics, multiple sexual partners, excessive power over others, eating oneself ill so you die, excessive smoking, anorexia and bulimia and purging, hoarding, too much helping others and even too much social media and shopaholics. All these things mask our truths and we hide behind them. The hardest part is acceptance of yourself and then work upwards. I can proudly say I am a reformed shopaholic. That each purchase left me with a temporary high that lasted only a few moments, and that by the time I got home that same pain and shit that I could not fix was still there. The most important thing I learned as a Holistic Nutritionist is that if you take something away from someone you have to replace it with something wholesome. I found that in nature, in the Ocean, in running, and moving from the city. Living a more wholesome, tranquil life. It was a decision to become more minimal. For each person it is different. I found I needed the peace of rural living. Could be music or art or like me the Ocean. However, it is not gone like you erase it from the page, it will always be there and everyday is a new day. Over time it does get easier and the need becomes less. Like an alcoholic though it is always there. You can not touch a drop. So I don't go to the store. On a positive note. I went to the mall, got the one thing I NEEDED and left. It felt so good. I can be honest and say, I have spent thousands where I did not need too. Racked up a huge unnecessary credit card debt and it cost me dearly in personal ways as well. However, no one can fix it for you. It is entirely up to you. In saying that help is always out there in so many ways, you just need to reach out for it. How and where the help comes from is different for everyone. (There are seven ways to get to heaven.) The important key is in taking the step to get the help. LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR. It is never too late to make changes and there is only the desire to rise up. You will find as time goes on that in helping yourself you will end up helping others. When Dad and I look around here and we are tackling this huge mess, we see the demons that haunted my parents. No one at all needs this much stuff. Sadly, they lived in denial. They could not handle the pain. They could not look at themselves or each other. The pain was too great and then they just got old. So now it has become my burden. I for one do not want to live the way they did. God bless their souls, for there for the grace of God go I. WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES SON. We recognize it. To live in denial is worse. Ultimately with pain comes growth. Without pain you stagnate. Take one day at a time, that is how you get through anything. You peel the onion one layer at a time. My illness, Dad's illness, our struggles and now this huge mess at this house. We all will get there. We will make it. So proud of you I am bursting at the seems. Be home soon. Love you xx
Thanks so much!!!!
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One day at a time..inch by inch. In fact sometimes you have to part your day into sections. Four sections. Even check days off a calendar. Whatever it takes. Pick up that guitar. Talk soon. xx
Thank you so much mom. Love you too!! I’m finally doing it!!!
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One day at a time..inch by inch. In fact sometimes you have to part your day into sections. Four sections. Even check days off a calendar. Whatever it takes. Pick up that guitar. Talk soon. xx
I have to Mike. It ruined and continues to ruin my life. I have to stay 100% focused. I also have the addiction hotline number in my pocket. Today the leaf is turned. Thank you for your support.
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Good for you, recognizing you have a problem and trying to get past it. Do you have any innocent replacements you can use, like smokers who chew gum? Like does playing a video game give you a similar satisfaction, maybe?
Thank you for this!!!!!! Yes I do and I haven’t been doing it at all lately. Music is my helper. I will be getting back into music ASAP!! Listening, writing, playing music is something that will help me find my inner strength.
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#jamchallenge!
Good luck with this man <3
Thanks brother!! Means a lot that you’re standing in my corner.
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Not only are you acknowledging it but you're sharing it. I think that's a massive step forward. Best of luck to you with you're journey on this hopefully you find a great habit to replace that real soon! I
Thank you my friend. It’s going to be a long journey but there is no other option. The support from you and all the others is greatly appreciated.
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I just came across and read this and I wanted to say that you are an incredible human and I totally believe in you! I totally agree with lighting up coping mechanisms like music and things you love to do. Self care and be kind to yourself, you have taken the biggest first step <3 you got this!!!
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Hey thank you so much Karen. I can do this!!! Thank you for furthering my inspiration!!
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Music is the great healer! Redirect that energy away from what holds you back, and put it into creating music! Love ya bro!
Love you too dude!! I haven’t played any tunes yet. I will be very soon. Thank you man
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I hope you can beat this. I know it can wreck lives and it's easiler than ever to gamble in various ways. Luckily for me it's something I never got into.
It’s amazing how it’s absolutely everywhere! I’m constantly battling this
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You've made a huge step forwards with this declaration, well done, you'll easily push past this gambling addiction.
Dude, you got this. Gambling is fun, sure. But if it's adversely effecting your life, yeah, time to face the demon head on. You've got your steemit community here for you, ready to hear your songs and vent with you about anything and everything. We 💜 you guys! Stay strong and write some songs! 💕💕💕
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Thanks so much. It’s time to slaughter this Demon! Thank you for the support. Venting and music are on the way. I appreciate this community so much.
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