I had empanadas this morning. I woke up. I stuffed the pain but my cabeza is hurting. I’m still dehydrated. The orange juice helped – not too sweet. The taste reminded of lemons. The heat from the cold cut sandwich surprised me. I almost broke a sweat. I ate my fill, downing two more empanadas courtesy of Joao. I think he likes me. I smile and tell him how I’m feeling so he responds in kind. I remembered what he told me a week or so ago- a strategy to keep business in-house. The best of the best do.
I looked at the photos from the other night. Everyone’s enthusiasm surprised me. The group got together to make the moment a memory, it’s my data as an archivist. I like the name card, data broker. I turned them over posthaste while the lights and smokes till feel fresh. It’s another way I thank myself for following the intuition into a photography. In fact, I got a feeling everyone appreciates photos not just because they’re in them, but they might make a memory too. I hadn’t thought of that. I wasn’t missing a flash, though.
I took this last year. One month before this, I let my brother go without thinking, noticing. I’m grateful it wasn’t the last. I don’t know what else to say. He almost died. The thoughts aren’t flowing like they normally do. Life’s a series of choices. I get that. What exactly did that mean? It means every move is your move. It did not occur to me, what was my last. Yet- that’s how winners win. I have to abandon this limit I place on myself. These chains ain’t gold- they’re mental. Photos capture a lot more than what’s pictured. That’s their purpose. What this digital of a scarred fifteen-year-old shows me is I cannot write yet. At the same time, I must write. This is no time to die. My fear is that I do not capture and share the images I see, especially as I feel sensitive to them. Windows to the soul, my eyes are windows to a future I create by capturing the present I experience.
Good luck tomorrow bro! YOU GOT THIS
Thanks, Ruben. I’m excited. Should be good, expressing myself with structure.
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