I responded to the chance to connect with someone very late. It may not pan out. I got in my own head, didn’t act out of inaction inertia. I did read two chapters of a good book aloud, so hopefully some review can help me kick the habit.
The world is not enough. Achievements tend to stop me in my tracks like evening hour traffic. Everybody stuffed in like jeans on the store wall. But why is everyone aiming for something at a time when almost everyone else is? Necessity. I’m sure we’ve all got something from which we’d like to escape.
Losing games against friends in matches frustrates. So does the inability to coordinate. Yet, these games only play at the real problem. I seek more than victory or defeat on my screen. I want it in life. When I look outside the window at the rain or sigh like the wind, I long for something else. I want to write. I want to picture. I want to read. Not just journal, or disposables or even manga. The streets of Shinjuku sound like the perfect spot for an urban explorer. Roaming Manhattan ran me ragged, but even in the cold eating McDonald’s and walking past camcording kids from LA offered a different sense of the word. Confusing the southbound train for the one going Uptown was a loss I cannot put into words. I did not roll on the floor laughing. I wanted to cry.
Isiah Berlin’s concepts around the types of freedom sound funny, like overhearing episodes of Family Guy in the background. The words “negative liberty” confuse, offering as much as “tight slacks” and “jumbo shrimp”. Curious it meant something like shameless curiosity. Overheard at work, Stanford school kids have this one trait in common. They’re free from shame- they ask questions without fear of judgment. I’d like more negative freedom then. The research suggests they arrived at where they are, since they ask sans concern for appearances. From here, they look smart advocating for themselves and not giving a damn. The chance to decide my fate might only come after the task of losing the constraints of pride, greed… Sunday school answers, a younger boy would rattle off to make time go by. In my youth, I thought about it. Sundays are the weekends, why do I have to get up early to worship? Lately, save for these trips to cities for sights and pics, the weekends become waste.
If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t post to a blog for the chance to earn rewards. It’s a conflation of money and success. My best work is the product of a process meant to help me continue photography- this could be anything- going for the win in a game that doesn’t play me.
- Necessity drives us, sometimes in even into traffic jams.
- Kids in some schools reached that point with little concern for their appearance when asking questions.
- Negative liberty is “freedom from” -freedom from constraint, freedom from being told what to do by others.
- Positive liberty is “freedom to” -the availability of opportunities to be the author of your life and to make it meaningful and significant.