Hidden signs you need a cat in your life

in #proofofbrain3 years ago

Cats are no more for single ladies craving an even greater lack of affection in masochistic endeavor to gain love from the most unrequited source - Cats. How do you know you need a cat in your life?

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  1. You are a dogecoin enthusiast - For the strangest of reasons, once you believe in something, you go all out, and like your misguided love for dogecoin, you're also optimistic enough to hope for your cat to be benevolent. Well, my friend you can try, you can buy the "dip, adopt the kitty but your life will be shitty (Did I tell you I'm a poet?).

  2. Curious? Intelligent? - Do you like to explore places where there is no danger of eye contact? Do you find yourself digging the internet for information till the layers of media regurgitated garbage is washed away and you see truth? Curiosity might have killed the cat but they have nine lives. I'm not sure why there is no cat and detective equivalent of Turner and Hooch but cats make better detectives. Maybe you also fancy yourself to be one?

  3. No Walk, No Talk - Maybe you want to be alone while not being alone? You get a cat, you make a pact never to talk to said cat but the cat is always there. You don't have to take it out for walks, You don't have to ask her who's a good boy? because obviously she will not condescend to talk to you.

And finally, you want to enjoy the dating experience without actually dating. Should I make a pussy joke here? No I will keep it classy.

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Hahahaha, I missed your satire. Also, my cat has been my only lockdown companion and he's awesome.