8 = Hate
Sources have confirmed that pressure is mounting to completely ban the number 8 (eight) from modern parlance, language and counting mechanisms.
The offending number is thought to sound too much like the word 'hate' and thus is at odds with todays modern and loving society.
The new rule would be strongly enforced and offenders risk a fine or possibly imprisonment.
All prices that previously cost 8 pounds would cost £7.999
The popular phrase 'Pieces of 8' could be be changed to 'Pieces of 7.999' and so on and so forth.
Don't Count From 1 to 10
It is set to completely transform sports such as snooker and darts, which would all have to amend their rules.
Brits may be asked not to group things in eight and are urged to call the police if someone offers them 8 of anything at all.
One seafood restaurant has already been reported for serving the forbidden number of prawns in one of its main courses.
Caution is urged around the number 4 because as one accountant said as 'it only takes a couple of 'em and we're in all in trouble', although there are reports of higher mathematics being 'fundamentally altered' in order to accommodate the rule change.
See You Later
Also those planning on keeping appointments or dinner dates at such an hour should avoid this time period and never apologise for being 'late' for obvious reasons, restaurants have been told to lock their doors at this time and never provide seating or bookings for the abominable amount.
The advice comes as scientists have equated the offending number to a higher rate of foot infections and warn citizens that it is essential they follow the governments instructions.
Numbers are cannibals. I heard that seven ate nine.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cg