Splinterlands headquarters was in disarray this morning as talks broke down between the Llama's agent and Splinterlands headquarters. Llama's contract is expiring at the end of the 2022 season and it is widely known that he is in talks with rival game companies around transferring over to be the top dog (Llama) in their game. Scarred Llama who is considered the Maradona of Splinterlands has come out and said he would like to see more competition in the game and at the moment he is pretty bored with life always winning and is seeking a new challenge.
We spoke with Llamas agent Jorge Paloma after the first round of talks came to a standstill.
"Yes we are discussing a new deal with Splinterlands but there are other rival gaming companies that are keen for the Llama's signature and are willing to agree to our demands."
"Llama is happy at Splinterlands but wants the league more competitive especially for the Rolls Royce legendary cards that seem to win an awful lot of battles."
"We will see what Splinterlands will offer in the future before we make our mind up."
Splinterlands HQ scrambled to introduce liquidity pools on the back of Llama's surprise comments in the media as a way of letting the world know that they mean business and intend to keep the legendary summoner who has the largest win percentage in the game. The liquidity pools just appeared one day and there was no fanfare about them like there normally is.
"We have a clear vision with land expansion coming so the game is going to get bigger and better with more competition for Llama."
"We have introduced a new legendary life summoner Grand Master Rathe who has the tools to beat the Llama so if he is talking about competition then it is coming so Llama doesn't have to worry."
"He shouldn't be complaining anyway, he is on top of his game and if I was him I would be enjoying my time as king of the castle rather than moaning all the time."
"At the other end of the scale we have the little Pelacor's that are being sold for less than a cent each. If anything they should the ones going mad, not Mr Wonderful at the top."
"It is unclear what the monster wants. He is winning all round him. Does he want more black eyes or something? Since when did Floyd Mayweather want to be punched more in the face. Ridiculous!!!"
Splinterlands soon found out via email that more of a challenge was just smoke and mirrors and the real reason was outlined below was all about the bunsens.
"His agent has demanded the following:
- A percentage of the DEC earned in all his battles.
- 10,000 x SPS per month
- 10 x validator nodes
- 100 x vouchers per week.
- 1000 x Riftwatcher's packs
"This is daylight robbery here so there is no way we are gonna stand for this. If we give into his demands we will have Kitty, Yodin and Lir knocking on the owners door the day after and this will leave the floodgates open. Before you know it even Stone Golem will be there wanting a slice of the pie and then we have a massive problem." claimed a Splinterlands source.
There are factions in headquarters that want Llama to walk off into the sunset as some see the contract talks as a way of getting rid of the summoner completely that would level the playing field somewhat.
"Hopefully the door will hit him on the arse behind him while he is leaving" "Goodbye and good fucking riddance" was one comment.
"The Llama is like superman living with mere humans. They created a monster (no pun intended) that was just too powerful. If he goes the playing field will be somewhat levelled and we can put it down to a mistake. All we would need then is the Kitty and the Yodin to go with him."
Speaking to Llama's Splinter group there is one monster in particular that is begging Llama to get the talks resolved.
Kron the Undying is a regular favourite of Llama and he picks the legendary monster anytime he has the mana to do it. Kron is the reliable Centre Half who gets the job done at the end more often than not.
"He's the big L, and I think they should give into his demands. I don't know what I would do without the guy around here." stated Kron.
Rumours are rife where the Llama would go for a bigger pay day. How would he get on in other games such as Gods Unchained, Axle Infinity or even the new game Ragnorak whenever that may be. It is all the other monsters are talking about.
It's a bit like the golf situation at the moment with some players going LIV golf who are major heavyweights on the PGA tour. Llama may decide to break away which will cause eruptions in the industry.
"He is our NFT card and that is all we have to say about it." claimed Splinterlands.
"If he keeps wanting to move away then we will just take his abilities off him such as last stand and heal. Then all he is is just a Llama with a some ivy wrapped round him and an aul pink and green blanket. The zoo won't even take him with a scar like that.
For now however Llama and his agent are holding out and the ball is in Splinterland's court. It is unclear when talks will resume but the atmosphere is icy at best.
"Llama has taken superstardom to the next level and he is hanging out with the likes of Lewis Hamilton and your one from the pussycat dolls."
"He was also seen at Waka Waka's 54th birthday party with his arch enemy Mimosa Nightshade which raised some eyebrows in Splinterlands.
"Noone is bigger than Splinterlands" claimed a Twitch source.
"Llama will fall into line soon enough or they will take the Last Stand ability from him for a start." "He will sign the contract faster than you can say Venari Crystalsmith."
In the meantime Llama is doing what he always does. Wins battles and whatever his future he will always be a legend.
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That's hilarious!
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Thanka mate. Maybe Llama can transfer to Genesis football league. 😀😀
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