I didn't see that your post was tagged as parody until I finished reading it. I also didn't know what the Steemicide Hotline was until after I finished the post as well. Before I realized what was going on, your post triggered a little rant in my head that I'm going to go ahead and share anyway because there are people jumping ship and being amusingly emotional about it. This is my response to the real haters:
We all feel your pain. We all know Steemit needs a lot of improvements in a lot of areas, not just whale dependency. The thing about that is though, Steemit is in its beta stage. Beta means, "It doesn't work yet." The only way to fix the bugs is to use it, find what frustrates you and talk about it. I'm not on Steemit because of how great it is, but because of how great it can become. Throwing in the towel now is tantamount to getting fed up with not seeing a penny stock go up in price and cashing out. This penny stock doesn't cost me anything, and I'm consistently surprised at the quality of some articles. So I'm going to stick around and not get offended by the fact that it hasn't made me instantly rich.