For those who don't know what the impostor syndrome is, here's the definition I found on Wikipedia:
| Impostor syndrome
(also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".
That definition alone explains pretty much everything there is to say about this syndrome. It basically does not allow you to feel the satisfaction that others feel when they accomplish something, because it constantly makes you feel as if you copied the work of others, as if your achievements are mostly the result of some lucky events, and that you are not even close to being good enough to deserve whatever it is that you managed to achieve.
As a writer, every article I post triggers this effect on me and makes me doubt the quality of what I write, the importance of the topic I chose and whether people are interested in it or not. It makes me feel as if I copied everything that others already said about the topic I chose, and that the rewards I get are nothing but me being lucky and taking from others the rewards that they actually deserve.
For the past few months I've been quite lucky with most of the articles I posted here on Hive and while I'm grateful for everything, I still feel like I don't deserve any of it. I feel as though all the money I've made was just a result of luck, and I'm always expecting this luck to end and to go back to making just a few cents per post. And this will remain the case no matter how many people tell me that I deserve everything I have. I might agree with them and feel good for a few minutes, or even ours if I'm lucky, but after that I'll go back to my daily struggle and to the process of convincing myself that I have to keep on working despite feeling this way.
As uncomfortable as this sounds, this is a part of me, and I have to learn to deal with it no matter what. But more people should realize that this is more common that they think, and that feeling this way is quite normal. It doesn't affect everyone, of course, but if you've been feeling like this for a while, or for the entirety of your life so far, then you should know that there's nothing wrong with it.
In a way, it can even help you become better at the thing you're trying to do. Constantly doubting yourself and feeling as if what you're doing is nothing but an attempt to copy others might motivate you to work harder and do something unique that surpasses the work of other people. It might motivate you to spend more hours designing your creation and polishing it until it meets a level of quality high enough that you can be happy with what you made without feeling like an impostor.
But even if that's not the case, it doesn't mean that all your achievements and all your work are worth nothing. Both time and effort went into everything you did and unless you actually copied the work of someone else, word for word, bit by bit, then there's no reason for you to get rid of what you made or feel bad about it.
Of course I'm just saying this as a reassurance thing, because you will feel bad about it regardless of what I will tell you.
What I found to be working in dealing with this syndrome is to try and use logic to defeat it. If you try to focus on your feelings, they will always tell you that you don't deserve what you're getting and that you're copying others. But using logic makes things a bit clearer and easier. It is obvious that you're not taking the work of others and posting it as your own (unless you're doing exactly that, in which case you should stop, because it's a bad thing to do). And if people reward your work, regardless of what you think of it, it might mean that you did something right.
You don't have to feel extremely proud of yourself or feel like you're actually worth what you got, because you won't, at least not always. You have to deal with the fact that feeling like that is part of who you are, but it shouldn't define you or your work. You should find some enjoyment in what you do, a part of it that makes you have some fun, and focus on that as much as you can.
I have fun writing because it helps me materialize my ideas. I feel good when I finish an article and I consider it good enough for posting. And I feel great when I see my articles posted somewhere, because I feel as if I didn't waste my entire time doing nothing. I made progress and I moved forward and that is worth all the struggle that comes from feeling unfit for the rewards and praise that I get, no matter how little.
The same thing applies to other types of work that I do. I've been creating art for a very long time using Photoshop, and a few years ago I started using Blender for 3D modelling, and while I never felt as if what I did was unique, or worthy of the praise of others, I still feel good when I create a piece that I like. I might feel bad about it at some point, especially if I see someone doing the same thing even a little better than me, but the fact that I can see a visual representation of whatever I had in my head is cool.
One thing that you have to keep in mind is that there is quite a big difference between trying to ignore the part of you that makes you feel as if you're not good enough and that your work is a copy of what others have made, and learning to criticize yourself and what you make, in order to improve and to know when the quality of what you made is bad.
Bad work exists whether you feel bad about it or not. You might create crap and think it is good, but that doesn't make it so. If you're dealing with the impostor syndrome, that is no excuse to actively ignore it and consider your work good enough and anyone who criticize it stupid. You have to learn how to be your own critic and to push yourself more and more every time to create something better.
In the end, doing your best to create work that you're proud of, despite feeling as if your efforts are in vain because you're nothing but a fraud, is the only way to deal with this condition and to move forward. Ignore your impostor syndrome when it demotivates you regarding your achievements, but use it as a way to criticize what you do in order to always improve.