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I never thought I'd be on a date with an alien.
A month ago I was hunkered down in my bunk on a transport that was taking me and a dozen other astronauts from Earth to a colony in another solar system. Now here I was, on a sunny afternoon in a park by a lake, sitting across from her.
I picked up a rock a and skimmed it across the water. A nice little pop as it skimmed across. This, at least, was exactly the same as the park on Madison Avenue. I turned to the only other person on the planet who looked like me, while she giggled slightly. I noticed the long black hair with the red streak in front, and how it fell across her right eye. Her alien eyes had a purple coloration that encircled a crystalline structure. I tried not to stare, and instead I smiled and looked away.
We'd been dating for a little over a month, and I was still trying to get used to seeing her. I knew she looked different, but my brain kept trying to force it into the old patterns. So it made me look away for a second there.
She took the rock from me in her delicate hands (paws? Cephalopod limbs? Something like that) and swatted it across the water too. A good skip, twice across the water. Not bad.
"So how's your day been?" How to respond? Awesome. Fabulous. Cool. Terrifying. Up until today I was sure that I would never have a girlfriend again. And here was this beautiful alien in front of me, laughing and everything. "My first girlfriend."
"You say that like it's a big deal." She replied. "But we are sure that you're not the first person who has had a relationship with one of us before, with someone from the Zalict colony. But I'd love to know more about your history. What's it like to date another human?"
"Oh... well... I don't think the historical perspective is all that interesting. But mine, well... I didn't date. Or I guess I did. In high school. That happened, but then I went off to the Academy, and well, I'm just not the partying type I guess, and so I was always working, trying to stay good enough at chemistry and physics and engineering to make it onto the space program. My bedroom is probably still a mess from the time that I went to sleep the night I found out I made it onto the program, and didn't get around to cleaning it up. And then I worked some more. The night before I flew out to the colony I was pulling an all-nighter, because the fuel mixor in the shuttle needs to be recalibrated and I was sure that I would be chosen for the job. And the shuttle is the kind of thing where a small problem causing a tiny bump in the fuel mix can turn into a big problem that makes the shuttle explode."
"Wow. That's hard work." She replied.
"No, it's actually not! Not compared to what the astronauts on the colony side do. Once the shuttle gets there they have to stay busy. That's just what happens. The good news is that the work they do is really important, exploring planets, looking for new plants and animals. One of the astronauts is the one who discovered the one that's having such a bad oil spill right now."
"Can he fix it?"
"No. The colony doesn't have engineers. Not ones that can fix it anyway. His mistake was going out alone, and letting it get away from him. It snuck up on him. But with the help of the other colonists, he managed to stop the leak and keep it contained. There's absolutely no reason to panic. He's fine."
"I see your point. That doesn't sound like much of a story. Not exciting. I guess that's not so bad. So how do you date?" She asked.
"Well. It's a long story. To be honest I have absolutely no idea how it's done. I guess maybe I need to lay it out for you."
She took out a little hand-held computer and began inputting information into it. Her fingers flew across the screen in a good pace, and I had to keep reminding myself that her hands and fingers were not my hands and fingers, at least not our hands and fingers. And that was one of the reasons why this whole thing was so insane. The other reason was the fact that we were on the date.
"So, like I was saying. When I was a kid I always knew that I wanted to be an astronaut. And I wanted to see different planets and plants that no one else had ever seen before. I wanted to be important, and important in a way that while there might be other astronauts out there, I would be the only one who could do the task right. Right?"
I didn't know if that was the right answer, but I guessed that she was getting what she needed from it. And I guess that was enough.