This post was supposed to have been posted yesterday but as you can see it's being posted today instead which means that it's probably been thought by you that there's a lot of explaining to be done by me. So please, if perhaps I am allowed to be heard by you: The zombies are to be blamed for this situation. If all of that time hadn't been spent by me running around like a headless chicken with its wings cut off trying to not be bitten and doing my damnedest to get the zombies to the point of having been shot dead by the Benelli M1014 that was donated to me by my best friend right after he'd been zombie-bit and just before a round was used by him to get himself to the point of being dead so as not to risk other people being infected by him, in a tense, emotional scene that probably should have been edited down to about half its actual production length, then today's post certainly would have been posted yesterday as had been fully intended up until the point the zombie apocalypse scenario was initiated by the devs and the proverbial fan was hit by shit. My apology would normally be offered for a deadline having been missed like this but I think it can be understood that the times right now can be described as extremely trying and I can hardly be faulted for failing to have my regular schedule kept when there exists such severe risk of being bitten by hordes of growling grotesque and homicidal humans once considered by me to be rational happy and harmless. Among those once considered by me to be rational happy and harmless was my ex-coworker Allison from marketing, who was given one round to the torso and one round to the face but only after it was made very clear to her that her interest in taking a very large and angry bite out of my neck was not in any way shape or form approved by me especially in such a clearly non-sexual and desperately survivalist setting. Is it really not understood by people what is meant by consent, or is something just really being missed by me? I guess sometimes it really just can't be told by me. Whatever. Digression is being done by me. Anyway, another such human, this one once considered by me to be a personal friend in fact, was my ex-running buddy Mark from Colorado Springs, who was given two rounds to the face but only after an exhaustive list of all the reasons why his desire to transform my perfectly healthy and properly functioning throat into a heavily downgraded version of a throat torn wide open by his own teeth was objectively philosophically and socioeconomically unethical was presented to him. It can't be gotten by me. Sometimes people just can't be understood by me. It must be admitted that I was kind of traumatized by my having been forced to kill Allison and Mark and quite a few other decent ex-humans once considered by me to be rational happy and harmless whose details won't be explored in this post, but one kill of mine must be examined for the sheer level of pleasure it provided me after the trigger was pulled by me: my goddamn fucking piece of shit ex-manager Todd from Amazon, who was given one round to the face one round to the torso and the remaining six to the genital area with absolutely no warning or notice whatsoever. The details of Todd's status as a rational happy and harmless human or an infected bloodsucking zombie also won't be explored in this post, for reasons that won't be explored either. Now, regarding the Honda CRF 250R dirt bike that was found by me abandoned at the bottom of a drainage near Longview, Colorado:
Bet they hit a bump and flew off. Bike and human flying in opposite directions and tumbling down the hill. Body must be pretty close by. Let me know when you find it.
Something like that is probably what happened for sure. I did in fact search for the body but was unable to find anything. Or if I did find it I'm just not telling anyone. !BEER
I'm sure if we drink enough of this beer you'll start talkin'.
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BEERKING.Consider yourselves sincerely thanked, @ackhoo and @qurator :)
Thank goodness you were able to stave off this horde and crucially, remain uninfected.
Good on your for Todd, zombie or not, he had it coming! ;0D
Todd definitely had it coming. In fact it has been coming for Todd for a long time now. I feel quite satisfied that the trigger was pulled by me. !PIZZA
Trigger man, beware the trigger man!!!!
!LOL
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It was the least I could do for him.
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@brandt, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @meesterboom
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I am the trigger man. The trigger man is I. Any other trigger men best stay the fuck away from me.
Thats it. I'm triggered.
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