―Ernest Gaines
Taking Counsel
Some pundits say April is the cruellest month, but they haven't experienced January in Canada―it can be pretty bleak. Driving into the university in darkness and driving home in the black of night wears on me, but thankfully it only lasts two months at the most.
I was musing about seasonal sadness while gazing out at car lights winding their way down University Avenue and, as always, dreading my long trek back home.
"So, Britni Hill is really scheduled to undergo rejuvenation, here, in our humble lab?"
I turn to see Eve, my colleague, standing in the doorway, an elfin grin on her face.
I nod. "She wasn't my first choice, but the corporate sponsors wanted a celebrity to make a big splash in the media. And who am I to defy the powers that be?"
She shakes her head in disbelief. "You hate the cult of celebrity―I'm surprised to see you going along with this."
I shrug and lower my voice. "Actually, it's Dean Edward's idea. I really didn't have a choice."
"Can't underestimate the power of big Pharma," she smirks.
"I suppose not when they pay the bills to keep the lights on."
"I'm out of here," she calls grabbing her coat and heading to the door.
"Drive carefully―it's snowing," I call back but the elevator doors close on her and she's gone for the night.
Eve is beautiful and brilliant, ten years younger than me, and at times, quite intimidating. We've worked together on the anti-aging project for two years, but our relationship has not progressed beyond being colleagues.
Oh, there have been staff get-togethers and conferences attended together, but there hasn't been anything romantic. I think she prefers it that way.
It's weird. I'd have no problem dating, but when it comes to Evelyn Harrington, my confidence just disappears.
Why that is, I have no idea, but it is what it is.
My thoughts are interrupted by my cell buzzing. I pick up and see it's Norm Lockwood, my psychologist friend at Campus Medical Services.
"Hey Pal, got time for drink at The Black Hart before you head home?"
"Sure, sounds great. How about in twenty minutes?"
"Any port in a storm," he chuckles.
Looking outside at the snow dancing against the windows, I can see what he means.
Twenty minutes later we’re ordering pub food and sipping draft.
One thing about Norm, he never has to ask how I am—he’s adept at reading moods and can tell me what I’m feeling before I know myself.
“So why don’t you stop torturing yourself and ask her out?”
“Ask who out?” I reply defensively.
“Don’t go simple on me, Pal—I’m talking about Eve. She’s the subtext of every conversation we’ve had the past two years.”
”Look Norm, I know you mean well, but I don’t need a cheerleader. Besides, she’s ten years younger and beautiful—I’m sure she has many suitors.”
“Suitors?” He laughs scornfully, “see what I mean? What century are we in?”
“What kind of a therapist are you anyway? You’re proving my point. I’m not cool like younger guys on staff.”
“Look in the mirror, Guy. You’re 45 and look 10 years younger. You jog on the Bruce Trail and even the T.A.’s gossip about who’s going to snare you. Don’t sell yourself short.”
“Well, thanks for the pep talk. but I’ve been out of the game so long, I don’t know where to begin.”
“Why not start by asking her to lunch? Hell, you can tell her you want to reward her for being such a diligent co-worker. I mean, you both both are quite the team.”
“She might insist I include Henry, our lab assistant. What do I do then?”
“Invite him along too—at least, it’ll be a step in the right direction. You need to get out of the lab and out of your rut as well.”
I hated to admit it, but he was right. But if he only knew she was in my dreams too, he’d probably throw up his hands in despair and write me off as a fool…
Maybe I am, but I should follow his advice and at least try to begin.
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? She’d say no and I’d be back where I began... but that’s my fear—all my dreams of us would end.
And I don’t know if I could bear that.