See that?
I looked up to see Wee Yellow sidle over to my desk talking out the side of his mouth as if he suffered a stroke and had come over to my area to piss himself.
See what?
I murmured softly as I tried my very best to blot out everything worky and instead think about everything beery seeing as today was Friday and it was the day that God had set apart for drinking beer as can easily be seen in any bible.
Ecclesiastes 3:13 - see, I'm not fecking joking. The big man liked a jar or three it seems.
That there, I tell you. It's not looking good for some cunt.
Wee Yellow whistled through his teeth as if dipping his raddled and chafed nethers into a bowl of apple cider vinegar. For him the C U next Tuesday word was just another noun and he used it as liberally as his old mum used to use Swarfega on her tired old thunder cranny.
I shook my head. If only my job were as easy as Wee Yellow's. I could just wander the office pointing at random objects and calling them names.
What do you mean, it's not looking good? For who?
I cracked my knuckles as I spoke so he could see that if he annoyed me too much he would probably be on the wrong end of a good fisting and not the I say old fellow, you can't call my Nancy a bloody horse type of fisting.
That cunt doon there. Look at all the cops.
He craned his neck upward as if it might make him taller.
I stood and took a look myself as I noticed others in the office starting to stand and make ooh aah type noises.
Aye aye, yer right. That's a lot of police.
Indeed, just a short distance from the office there was quite the congregation of Police and other florescent jacketed people poking about at the side of the river beside which our new office was situated.
Someone said... It's a bodie
Wee Yellow whispered almost clandestinely, leaning toward me so much that I worried a horde of Italians might climb up him shouting Bella Bella!!
Really? In the river?
I was a little taken aback. I usually preferred to dance with death on my own terms and certainly not whilst at work.
Aye, it happens regular around here.
Wee Yellow affected an air of knowledge like a bespectacled owl perched on a dictionary.
Wow. I guess it must have been somebody.
I placed special emphasis on the somebody.
Eh? Whit do ye mean? It's a bodie?!
Wee Yellow furrowed his ratty brow in puzzlement.
Aye, somebody.
I winked and gave him a little nod as if we were part of the same gang and one of us had just bought a Taylor Swift poster to the treehouse.
Naw, it's a bodie. Look! They are fishing it oot the noo.
His voice dropped into an excited Glaswegian growl as we saw that the police were indeed fishing something that looked like a large flaccid seal in jogging bottoms out of the water.
Well, every body is somebody, eh?
I pronounced gravely, channelling my inner red-robed monk.
Wee Yellow looked at me in utter bewilderment.
Whit does that even mean? Whit are you tryin' to say?
Wee Yellow jutted his jaw back and forth as if servicing his favourite man, Prince William style.
I placed a hand reassuringly on his shoulder and kept it there despite his best attempts to shrug it off and muttered softly in his ear.
That could be any one of us.
I looked out at the river, squeezing the little yellow man's shoulder even harder.
Any one of us...
Wee Yellow shook me off, his face red and blotchy.
Get off me, fuck, you're a weird bastard.
He looked back over his shoulder as he strode away almost falling over a chair.
Watch yourself young man.
I chuckled before whispering to no one in particular.
The river is always hungry...
Jumped? Pushed? Thrown in with weights ????
Yikes.... happens all the time.....
"Weird Bastard"..... some people can be SO flattering.... right ?
Before long you'll be noticing people changing to the other side of the hall when they see you coming. LOL....
Like jail!! :OD
I suspect being Glasgow it will have either been a drunken accident or a deliberate thing. There are some shit bits of the city!
had to send this up in the stupidest fashion because stuff in Wayland is still irritatingly buggy
Well if the cops come knocking on your door to ask a few questions you'll know why XD
Heheh!! The intelligent owl! It actually looks a bit like me!
Its alright, I will just slip them a couple of twenties for the misunderstanding :OD
Must have been a subconscious influence XD
LoL!
I suspect so!!! 😀
Couldn't help but think of a scene out of my very favorite movies ( Don't Look Now, 1973 ) where the body of a woman is being fished out of a canal in Venice.
Must be weird to see a thing like this ( let alone from your office window )
It was a little surreal. It was not what I expected when we moved office. I was actually hoping to see some otters or some such nonsense. Maybe even a fancy boat but not a body getting fished out. Although we couldn't see much. Apparently it really is a regular occurrence! I hope not!!
I would also prefer to see otter nonsense over a thing like this. I have seen a bunch others, in the river out here. Cool critters for sure.
Otters are amazing. Apparently there are some in the little river near my house but I haven't caught them yet. With my camera that is. Or my eyes. Pesky hiding things!
I once managed to sneak up to an otter, at a river beach nearby. It noticed me, after a while but I came very close ( meters ) before it did and it felt awesome. Cool critters!
You are wrong, it must be on Saturday 😄
I think Saturday is included!! :OD
Fast becoming my before the weekend laugh out loud!
Forever learning new words too, what the hell made you think of Swarfega long before my time, an age most have forgotten.
4 them beer!
@tipu curate 2
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Hehe, Swarfega, it takes me back. My dad used to use loads of it. He had quite the manual job and was always filthy with oily grime and swore by it and I was always entranced by the weird green jelly of it! :ODD
Most the old guys had some greasy concoction to use after fussing over car engines, which you could do yourself back then.
Didn't recognize the brand name but do remember some weird green jelly shite followed by vigorous wiping onto dirty old rags for the bin....
That sounds exactly like it was! Strange green jelly that stank but removed every stain known to man!! Lol. When engines were comprehensible things too
Days men congregated around an engine, worked, swore..., service done in time for a !BEER
Now they congregate around a phone and do TikTok dances :OD
The 'TikTok' audience... says a lot!
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Did you know that <a href='https://dcity.io/cityyou can use BEER at dCity game to buy cards to rule the world.
Which ever wanker brings a Taylor Swift poster anywhere needs their ass kicked.
And more than once! :OD
I've not thought about Swarfega in a long while. I seem to remember it was quite jelly-like and good for getting oil off your hands.
Retrieving bodies has to be a sad job, but it needs doing. Many years ago someone jumped from the office block I worked in. It seems they still don't know who she was. Grim stuff.
It was excellent for cutting through oil. Lord knows what it was or what is did to the skin!
Oh dear, that's totally sad. When I worked in a car park as a student we used to always dread getting sent to a certain one that was popular with jumpers. Sad sad stuff
Prince William style? I'm American with a deficit in royal insight! 😂
Hehe, well there are all sorts of rumours flying about about him having an affair and even worse rumours that he likes getting a bit of pegging action of his posh new mistress! Oh the drama with the royal family never ends even tho none of us really care! :OD
I don't know whether !BEER is in my Friday forecast, but hey, St. Patrick's Day is almost here! I may even go out into the wide world beyond and party with the general public!
You should have more respect for the environment, though. Don't chuck people into the river all willy-nilly. Others need corpse-free water, and besides, sometimes the best purpose some folks can ever hope to serve is returning to the soil to feed plants at the roots.
It's all about that returning to the earth. Or at least the silt... 🙂
St Paddy's day, it had slipped my mind. It's this weekend isn't it? I had better stock up on some stouts! 😀😀
Hahaha... The Big Man liked a jar or three? He's entitled to everything, don't ya think so ?
I wouldnt be arguing with him on that point! :OD
I had to check my dictionary every now and then while reading this
There are so many new words
Nice one!
I like to spray the random words areound! Life is all about new ones! :OD
The water's been super high in the Bristol channel lately and even higher with the opening of the SEvern bore, plus all the rain. Everything seems under threat of flood - there's more water I've seen in a month than in Australia - well - all my life. No suprise there are signs everywhere in Bristol that warn 'mate, don't jump in, you ain't coming out' or something of the like. If you go missing around here, it's likely you've fallen in the river at 3 am. And you guys reckon Australia is dangerous.
I have read that the rivers down there are more poo than water now. That would defo be a mare to fall into! It had been very very wet these last couple of years. More so up here I think. It's bloody shite!
The joys of having an office with a view.
(sarcasm)
A glass prison of pain!
"Any floaters today?" will become casual talk around the watercooler now.
Strange world we live in...
I suspect it really will become something that is asked on a daily basis. I will be asking so I know which side of the office to sit at 🙂
I'll let you have that one and won't push this further lol.
Heheh 😀😀
You're a riot dude.
I'm a little late Mr Boom, they finally brought out a body or a keg with beer, definitely when death comes so many conjectures are woven.
Here in my city, they throw from the pile 21, it is higher place of the Rafael Urdaneta bridge, and they last a few days to rescue the body that finally the fishermen of the area help to take it out...things that happen and almost always happen on a Friday or Saturday. Things that happen.
The weekend seems to be a time for it.
I certainly wouldn't complain if it was kegs of beer they were fishing out! 😀
Only in these cases does it amaze me that every day human beings have our mental health screwed up more and if it doesn't heal, then as you say, the river is hungry.
I prefer beer too like You.
Wee yellow probably scared to his pants 😂😂😂😂😂
I suspect he was, probably went to the toilet for a fear wank 🤣🤣🤣
Just the right mix of dark and humor. I never really liked people doing that in public. If one wants to end it, they shouldn't scar other people along the way.
I believe the same. You shouldnt leave your mess for others to clean up
Eeesh, creepy and hilarious at the same time! Stay outta the water and have a few good beers..Happy Friday!
It's beer Friday! Hurrah!! Cheers milady! 😀😀
That's definitely not something you expect to witness. I never imagined Glasgow to be the kind of place where that happened. I guess crime is everywhere.
Swarfega! That name couldn't be more confusing for a hand cleaner. As it turns out Swarfega even makes a product called Jizer which is even more perplexing! Can you imagine working that into a polite conversation?
Holy quack. Jizer, that's quite hilarious!! I think that's the kind of thing that shouldn't be uttered out loud in any situation. Lol.
Aye,, Glasgow airport it has improved since the bad old days is still quite a cowboy city. Fortunately most of the bad stuff happens in the deprived outskirts and not in the centre intensely but it still happens!
Hopefully it doesn't become that regular - but you definitely used a bad situation to your advantage 😂
It really could be anyone... just being in the wrong place at the wrong time can prove fatal :(
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
It really could be anyone. I am hoping that it isn't that regular but I have some forms or that it is regular enough for their to be a dedicated river patrol for it. Apparently the depth and the cold of the river makes it really deadly. Yeek
Sounds like it's mostly accidents then? Some sort of barrier is definitely needed.
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What a great scene, it looks like something out of a horror film. And you enjoyed it, man.
I think I enjoyed it very much! 😀
I'm sure you got into Wee Yellow's dreams. If you see him as a late-nighter, it's because the poor guy hasn't been able to get rid of the mark left by the squeeze on his shoulder. 😁
I wonder if all your coworkers get together and talk about you behind your back? I imagine that they are all simultaneously bewildered, infuriated, confused, impressed, in awe, and a scared of you at the same time. Who is this man, where did he come from, what is he about? 😂
I hope they do. Get some fire in their belly. I don't talk about the decent folk as that would be no fun. It's only fun to take the mick out of the diddies that seem to gravitate to IT! 😀
I haven't seen this movie but it looks interesting I like most fighting movies so I will try to watch it and share my experience with you.
If you find a movie like this then do let me know!
The lake is always hungry...as well.
We had a jumper here 3 weeks ago off the Hales Ford. Killed him alright and for the better. Seems he had murdered a lady in town.
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive "
https://www.wdbj7.com/2024/03/01/roanoke-police-investigating-womans-death-homicide/
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You are quite ready to teach him some good lessons with your fisting
Ahem, yes indeed!! 😀😀