Ugh.
It was unusually dark in my bedroom. Cold too.
I rolled out of bed rubbing at my hands for a while and grumbling softly to myself. Even my bed seemed hard and cold this morning.
Is this what getting old is like?
I asked the darkness that lay heavy around me.
It didn't answer, thankfully.
Truly getting older was a bit shit. Everything hurt in the morning and even getting out of bed was a challenge. I mean, take today. I was sure I had only had a couple of beers last night and yet here I was shivering in the dark wondering why life had taken such a turn.
Baws to that.
I muttered, standing up with an audible creak.
Dammit, even my feet were bloody sore this morning. Fucking McFuckBuckets.
Oh well, I had better get up and about or the Good Lady would end up coming at me with a rolling pin. Or worse.
I shuddered when I thought of that time she had covered me in beef paste and pretended to be a hungry pack of dogs.
Or was that a dream? Fuck, getting old, you just don't know what's real anymore.
I stumbled over to the bedroom door and yanked at it to get it open. It seemed stiffer than usual and I let out a great earth-shaking fart as I heaved and wrestled with it.
Suddenly it rolled back and I was left blinking in the light.
My two kids were playing outside in the hall and looked at me in utter astonishment.
He is risen?!
They cried and scampered away to tell the Good Lady.
I laughed and traipsed downstairs after them, entering the kitchen where everyone had congregated.
Oh my god, truly it is a miracle!
The Good Lady fell to her knees weeping with joy.
What the bloody hell is going on here?
I grumbled in the way of all hungover men who don't smell bacon from the kitchen.
We can't believe it? We didn't expect this. After last night? All those beers... It's only eight o'clock and you have risen? It's a miracle!
The Good Lady looked upwards as if to the heavens themselves.
I made a face like a farmer finding his prize sheep trying on his wife's clothes.
Then I stopped short. Wait, they were right. I had had a lot of beers last night. I remember feeling the need to reward myself after cleaning my decking out the back garden and the job taking all day in the baking hot sun which in itself was unusual as it was only Spring.
I had even got some peskily painful splinters in my hands and feet.
I remember complaining wildly of dying as I lay on the couch afterwards.
And yet, here I was. Alive and feeling remarkably ok.
I started to feel a tickle of realisation dawn on me as I put two and two together. This was no small event. The children gasping at the miracle before them. The Good Lady in awe at my rising...
I mean was it not Easter? Had I not returned?
I reached out and placed a hand on my children's heads.
It wasn't too great a leap to make and I could avoid it no longer.
Holy shit.
I am Jesus.
A vulgar drunken Scotsman is the returned son of God? I suppose I have seen worse claimants to such authority.
Yes indeed, I may be the lesser of the evils! 😀😀
Come on, don't give up now. The body may age but it is possible to keep the soul young. Those fruity beers you drink may be clouding your thinking a bit.
(Ya funcionan las listas de Peakd, aleluya)
Yay!
I will never give up, dont worry on that front! :OD
Me alegra saberlo 😃
Hello, my friend, how beautiful and meaningful your descriptions are👏🏻
Thank you very much!
خواهش می کنم،من خیلی خوشحالم از اشنایی با شما🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝😊😊
I am very happy to meet you and thank you for your support. I am Iranian and in the previous reply I left a comment in Farsi for you. I apologize and now I have corrected my comment. I am glad to have met you.
No worries. Glad to have met you too!
Getting old sucks, and not in a good way. My 23 year old son likes to take the piss, but I like to remind him he is at his peak and it is only downhill from here!
Hehe, yeah. It's easy to forget you are at the top of the hill at that age!!
Oh, you dodged a bullet that time! Drinking more than a couple of beers is like Russian roulette once you breach the half-century mark. There's the old "glass of water between drinks" trick and lessens your chances of having one of those hangovers where you get on your knees and ask the good Lord to spare you. Last time I was felt that bad was before the pandemic, I think.
It's a strange thing a hangover. I can have days where I feel relatively pain free after a big sesh and others where I am dying after three beers!
I miss the days of not having to worry about it. A lot more strategizing is involved as we get on in age!
He has risen! Lol.
So not sore from the wine flu (wine flu sounds better than beer flu), just the sore from the house work. That's normal. I'm 38 and I get ridiculously sore doing any work whatsoever that involes a deck.
Omg man, wine flu. I love it, that's going to be my next thing. The Good Lady will hate it but I'm sure she will laugh!
I all glad I finished power washing the mook off it but have to wait for a couple of dry days so I can oil the fecker. Then it will be done and can be enjoyed!!
Haha yeah, my friend said it the one day a few years ago when "swine" flu was going around. It stuck with me ever since.
Decks are surprisingly a lot of work and ongoing maintenance. They are great though and well worth it.
It's definitely genius!
They really are worth it. I must confess, I felt a certain pride surface as I revealed the blonde wood underneath the smeg of winter that has been covering it!
Oh yeah, that looks great! Huge difference
It's a miracle!!! :O
And I can't even draw it because Krita is playing silly buggers :<
I got upgraded to KDE6 recently which is amazing as long as I'm only doing normal things not silly artist things
Isn't software just a downright pest!! I am trying to find a new editor on my phone and they are all shit. Even photoshops phone version is shit. I might have to go back to desktop!
You edit stuff on a phone?! D:
My new tablet can connect to a phone apparently XD I'm kind of tempted to try it out but not sure how I'd go with that. But there's that idea if you have money and inclination.
I think I'm too old and cranky to do anything on the phone, I can't cope with the screen size never mind anything else XD
not helped by deliberately trying to get small phones so I can operate them with one hand and the specs I want in the size I want at a price I can manage is tricky x_x
Amusingly I jumped through a few editors today too but they were code editors, and I ended up sticking with the one I was thinking of replacing.
Astonishingly I do!! I used to be a huge Photoshop user but as soon as the kids came along I didn't have time to be faffing around on my desktop. Then after a while my desktop was kak and it was painful to use as I used it so little. So I searched around for editing apps on Android and most of them were shit but there were some basic ones that actually did powerful things that weren't all just flashy filters and the like so I have stuck with them ever since but two of them now are not supported and I dread the day that they are whipped off the play store!!
I knew you would have to be using a pc with your stuff, there is no way you would be doing that on a phone! 😀
Nope, I tried both on an Android tablet (last Wacom is actually an Android tablet when detached, but it was not very high performance and could not cope with the stuff I needed it to do) and it didn't end well XD
I can see it not ending well. I am tempted to get a decent spec'd lappy to work on but I suspect that wouldn't go down well!
Why's that?
When I read that the children run to look for the good lady to tell her about your early resurrection hahahaha, I thought about the noise that your fart leaves hahahaha, I thought,¿ could it be that the children are going to tell to the good lady? but it was NOT ,that you were fine after a night full of liquor hahahaha, this tells me that the children are used to your farts hahahaha.
Happy start to the week :)
And a happy Saturday to the will for you too!!
The children are will used to be farting and burping and being generally rude, lol
Hello Big Boomy!
Happy Easter that has now passed... and which has seen you rise again at this point.
My question is just one, how many beers are we talking about?
In reality there are two questions; the beer was one and you multiplied it? And at this point the second question arises and therefore, how many did you multiply it by?
First there was water then there was a beer then there was many beers. I am not one to guess at the machinations of the holy! 😀😀
😂😂😂
Quite appropriate
Such a cool sense of humor
You did rise though
I did! Truly it is a miracle!! 😀😀
Res Erection, I have one those often in the middle of the night. When there's actually no real use to it. Actually it means I have to take a leak.
This morning when I looked in the bathroom mirror I asked myself if my head had shrunken overnight or did I have a nose enlargement?
Getting past a certain age does suck in a bad way. The man in the mirror, who the freaks is he...!?
Anyway, have a great Easter day.
Blessed be, as you will find you can walk on water when you leave the bathroom after a shower, that lasted just a wee bit too long, the floor still being wet.
Have a great one!
I can see the water walking coming!!
And the nightly visits to the toilet, what a pain in the arse!!
Have a great one mucker, hope the beers were good the other night!
Thanks Mate! The beer selection was quite pleasant, accompanied by the 'kick in da head' and the Scottish surprise, near perfect. 😃
Already had my walk on water today, enjoy yours!
And I'd rather be woken up by an erection fulfilling its true purpose in life, than it telling me that I have to pee. Then those farts, why do they seem to get louder the older I get. Or is it beer drinking related?
No that cannot be!
Dark tales of a Grumpy Man's life, one could fill books with it. Luckily alcoholic drinks got invented during the early existence of the Homo Sapiens species. Otherwise we would've been extinct already by now.
Thank goodness for beer! 🍻
Cheers!
I can only presume that beer asks alcoholic drinks were invented as a medicine against life's travails because of my they sure do help!!
The farts, lol. I don't think I noticed them until the kids came around and never did them and comment on every one issued by me!!
Good to hear on the beer night, it reminds me. I must get something sorted for myself. It has been a while since I have had a good selection. The beer shop beckons!
Hunting for some undiscovered beer beauties out there is part of the fun. Curious what your findings will be.
Good hunting! 🍻
I shall possibly post my findings!! There are so many new ones these days. It is an ever evolving landscape!!
Roll the stone away 😂...and people say they don't believe in miracles!
I know, even in these modern times there are muscles to be had if we just open our minds!! 😀😀
Humdinger night followed after wee bit of work, yup must have floored the family simply watch you rise still slightly plastered! Well done....
!BEER
I always laugh as it is a wee bit of work but I was so in used to it I am goosed the next day!! 🤣
Lost our stride in 'work' and pub crawls, both hit back of late!
Haha, aye. One just keep their dander up though!! 😀
Now don't go getting anyone's dander up, keep it low key!
Haha, it's hard not to at times!! 🤣
Wait, you yet to learn about those that hit the hamster wheel...
Hahaha.. Indeed it’s old age. when the perks of youth have people around you thinking you will not wake up on time.
Lol. I know. They have little faith in me rolling out of bed before nine when not working! 😀
Ah, from the feeling the pains of aging to realizing you are Jesus. What a miracle indeed. But I get you on the body pains. Lately I've been getting neck pains just from sleeping. I really need to exercise more. If this post was a bit earlier, I might have tried working my butt of ass well, and hope for my own miracle.
Ha, I've been getting those too. I swear I put my neck out last week just be going to bed and then I woke up and it was agony. It sucks!!
Jesus has risen, farting and with a hangover.
Baking sun yesterday, in Scotland??
Are you sure this wasn't a dream?
We are still experiencing daily - and nightly - rain- and hail showers and cold spells, although a change towards more Spring like weather is upon is.
It was a tease of a day. A whole 15 degrees at one point!! The sun was out and it was magic. Today it is 7 degrees sigh fickle spring!!
Here we had shorts and T-Shirt weather again, in the afternoon. You won't hear me complaining.🌞
I wouldn't either. We had that one nice(ish) day and then boom. Wet town ever since!
Perhaps my latest post will give you some sunny vibes. Hope the Spring like weather will make it across the pond, soonish. It's about time!
Praise be! Have the nail hole healed?
I get you on age taking its toll. It takes me longer to recover these days. I see you did a good job on the deck. My neighbour has a petrol-powered jetwasher that is ridiculous, but it gets it clean. Mind you, the missus has plans to rip up the deck that I built 20 years ago :( She wants a big change with new paths and paving, but we'll re-use the wood.
A petrol powered jet washer. Blimey, I didn't even know there was stuck a thing. That would be handy as I kept grabbing to move the cable and the house to stop them getting tangled!
The wood will be dashed handy, I have loads left over from the building of mine and still use it
I can't see the nail holes so praise be, they have healed! ;0)
Behold!
Ha, that's marvellous!!!
Clearly the good lady, was worried by the celebration. I am sure the children now have a new found respect in there hero.
Oh they do indeed. I shall load them like my flock to happy times! 😀😀
nadie puede escapar de envejecer es ley de vida..
es verdad, lamentablemente es algo que todos tenemos que aceptar
a menos que seamos ángeles, seres espirituales o algo así...tengo amigos inmortales
The Scottish Jesus, he is risen! Quite a bit paler than the other guy people talk about by the millions but who’s asking?
I feel like this having two beers never mind 8! Lol I would be in the hospital. I need to work up my alcohol tolerance back!
Haha, considerably paler!! 😀😀
Sometimes I think having a lower alcohol tolerance is better. Less damage that way!!!
In my 20s and still don't want to leave my bed also waking up early is just a myth.. I can't do that.. wen it happens.. that's more like a miracle itself.
In your case, the hang over and beer.. still waking up that early.. Miracle for real.
I was waiting for the part where you gonna say it's April fool.
Hope you enjoyed Easter with fam!
I was tempted to do an April fools but the last couple of Tommy's I have done them quite a few folk have taken them seriously because it's not a thing in their country and I felt bad!!
It is normal for one not want to leave the bed when cold :) Thankfully, it has been about 25C here for a week 😉
Ha, rub it in!! It's 7 here today with a rumour it might get up to eight!!
Hahahah, the man, the myth and the legend. Stories will be told years to come on how the hang over was conquered.
Yes indeed, the legend will grow with time!! 😜😜
Cold hard beds are a lot easier to want to leave 🤣 Maybe the miracle was produced by the Good Lady? She probably turned on the air conditioning!
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
Lol, or just left the heating off for an hour or two! Turns into the Arctic then!
Damn! Now, I know why you felt all that. It is a miracle you rose after being knocked off by beers🤣🤣.
You have indeed risen, and a big celebration is equally needed for that.
Hehe.
I am going out might be a day or two before the next celebration🤣
🤣🤣🤣.... geez, you are a cracker.
Or cracked more like!
Hehe... that's better!
It's a miracle you woke up at 8:00 after drinking so much, man. A friend of mine recently told me he drank 14 beers. That's 7 liters of beer. I don't know how his stomach took it lol.
14!? Ouch, never mind his stomach, I don't know how his brain took it the next day!!
Well he broke up with girlfriend and that was the reason but still it is too much 🤣
Hehe😂😂😂
You arose for real😂😂
I did. All bless he who wakes!! 😀😀
We all need a good resurrection occasionally. 😁
It's good for the soul! 😀😀
The good ol' lawrd returns!! I am curious how you will rise again during Withsunday :D
Or was today easier (and still drunk because too early) because of the daylight savings that had kicked in again.
(im sure here I wil not move a finger off of my couch today for sure)
Daylight savings, I'm blaming everything on that!!!
I am sure I will find out in me to rise again and again!! 🤣🤣
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The heat has risen here and the AC has also been switched off, so the heat is unbearable and it is impossible to live here in our city without it.
The important thing is that your body and spirit age harmoniously, that your mental attitude and mental disposition accompany you in the best way, to lead a harmonious, grateful and very faithful commitment relationship with your family. I'm sure your wife must be happy with the clean and very well kept garden this spring. Happy Easter.
He as risen
The stone has been roll away
Amen!!!
Via Tenor
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