None of us like it.
Proclaimed Barky, a shambling upright otter of a woman.
Yes, it's not right. We can't be expected to put up with this?
Almost shouted Burton. His face reddening with the stress of having to state his position on something.
Ah don't think that we should have to go through this. It's just wokery gone mad.
Exclaimed Wee Yellow bitterly as he cast his jaundiced eyes around the room.
I shook my head. I knew Wee Yellow would have an opinion as he was nicknamed Wee Yellow due to his penchant for incessantly spouting utter pish in meetings.
El-Jefe muttered to himself and jotted down a note at the front of the meeting room where he wobbled, somewhat awkwardly like a blancmange made of lard.
Folks. I need something more concrete than just "you don't like it." What don't we like and I can take it to HR?
He was talking about the toilets. More specifically the toilets in our shiny new office block which, in keeping with all things modern, were unisex. As in, there were ten cubicles that locked and you could use any one you liked.
Which suited me fine, I am an equal opportunities toileter. I don't mind where my shit goes. However, it was causing ructions with the more puritanical of my work colleagues who were acting as if they were being asked to wee in a transparent cylinder in the middle of the office.
What if a man just came into your cubicle?!
Yelped Barky indignantly and perhaps not a little hopefully.
I think that is why the doors have locks.
I interjected whilst thinking - you should be so fucking lucky.
What if you lock it and they come in anyway?!
She brayed spittily, fixing each of us in the room in turn with an accusing glare.
I cocked an eyebrow, I didn't think there would be many takers for forcing their way into her cubicle to watch her do a shit. Then my gaze sidled over to El-Jefe... Well, I suppose you can never be too sure.
El-Jefe shivered as if reading my mind and seeing himself helpless underneath Barky's HairWolf.
What about you Boomster? This is a meeting to address the concerns over the conveniences. You have been very quiet. Don't you have anything to say?
El-Jefe looked at me pleadingly for support.
Hmm, I do have a couple of issues I would like to raise.
I nodded the nod of a wise man who ponders such ineffabilities as is cottage cheese actually nob cheese? and if so how do they make it in such bulk? Perhaps there were large warehouses of disenfranchised young men, producing for the mass market?
Life is weird sometimes.
The first is that we all know how messy women are with their peeing, flobbing it around the seat like a burst hydrant. I mean, I don't really fancy going in a cubicle after that.
There was a sharp intake of breath from those in the room but I ploughed on regardless.
Secondly, I hope the ladies are aware that this is a workplace and we have to be professional at all times. That means no leering or pawing at us handsome men when we visit the lavatoire.
There, I had said it. I folded my arms and looked expectantly at the room.
El-Jefe sighed and shook his head.
Ok, noted.
He then started to recite a long pre-prepared statement from HR about toilets and mental health.
Everyone listened intently. Even Wee Yellow.
I humphed. I had expected a bit more of a stooshie than that.
Damn, I will have to try harder.
You lacked arguments, how strange. Because men are really more disorganised when it comes to showering. But I won't go into details. 😁🤣
Some details should never be revealed!!
I tried my hardest but no one seemed to care!
I'm already up to date! Truly, I can't forgive myself for missing your posts. 😂 They make me laugh so much. You have exquisite humour.
Thank you. I try my best! 😀
I've not come across (no, not like that) many unisex loos, but I don't have an issue with the principle. If anything I'd expect the ladies to have more complaints. Are you generally suffering from harassment of a sexual nature at work?
We have separate boy and girls loos at work. The problems are more around it being an old building and things going wrong. It's a fair walk to the nearest ones (down 2 floors) and if those are out of order you have to go further. I have recently found two more gents' in the building whilst the close ones were out of action. It is a big place. They just don't seem to put up signs to guide you to them so for a while I was going further than necessary. That's not great when you're bursting.
Ah Mr S, you made me guffaw!!
Our old building was like that. This one is like a glass and metal spaceship. You wouldn't believe the ructions that the shared toilets are causing. Its mostly older people. Young people are like yeah cool. The ladies are the ones kicking up the most stink. I just channelled all their complaints before they could get in, lol!
Mission accomplished!
I suspect it's driven by cost rather than the dreaded 'wokery'. We have a new building on the site, but they have separate loos there too. What makes me laugh is restaurants where they have separate Ladies and Gents, but each is a single bog with a lockable door.
That makes me laugh too. If it is a lockable separate bog then who cares who uses it!
Cost will be a factor. Ours has less toilets than we used to have on our floor combined and I think it is cost and space seeing as we have less desks on our floor in a weird blending of home working and office working
Hello @meesterboom, hahahaha, man, women are more organized even in the bathroom, starting because they don't have to sharpen their aim hahahaha, if you ask me, I would say that women in their bathroom and us men in ours, currently women and TIKTOK have left many men in a bad state, already in this social network women are supposed to be harassed, it is better for women to be far away so that they do not take advantage, some men have even had to compensate them, she is quite shameless
I agree that they will have to improve their aim somewhat... Otherwise where will be a riot!!
Tiktok is the root of all evil they say, I am not entirely sure I disagree!! 😀😀
Uni-sex looe had us confused first time entering one, shouted to other half to keep cavey whilst in use!
!BEER
Hahahah, I was the same the first time. I kept having to go back and look at the sign on the door to make sure it was really ok!
I put the guard dog to keep watch 🙃 not simply toilets, showers as well! (I'm going back to 1978)....
10 toilets??? 😂😂😂 a tad bit extra no?
They aint all for me! 🤣
I hate it when my toliet jokes shit on me. Not fun.
Side note. 10 toliets seem like a lot.
Ten aint so much for 180 folk! You should see the queue at lunchtime! :OD
I'm a simple unsophisticated sort... we call it a line. Not some fancy Q word
!pimp
Lol, a line is what goes up the nose, a queue is something you stand in! :OD
a line is what goes up the nose,
#bestresponseever
:OD
gotta keep it real!
You must be killin' it out here!
@davedickeyyall just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @meesterboom.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/2 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
No united we fall ( but on the bed ) 😁
Lol, indeed so!! 😀😀
Haha, you do have to try again, and maybe this time, the boss would kneel and plead on you to say something.
In every way, you've said things right, and for that, a lovely hug comes your way.
Greeting 😁.
A hug right back at ya!
Yeah, I might be losing my touch, Normally I cause a bit of a riot and this time they were all like yeah whatever Aiyee!
Haha, well received 😄.
Yeah, need to big back the big wolf. Alpha always goes well.
If in doubt, alpha it out! :OD
Lol... that's right
That would actually be hilarious.
In the Netherlands this whole toilet thing went a bit crazy last year. Even our government changed their toilets after a renovation. You might think into gold, but no. All money was spent on an extra option. More and more companies started to have 3 options: Men, Women and...Gender-inclusive. In my opinion it would be easier to just have 1 option.
Somewhere in my backpacking history, I've worked in a big hostel in Melbourne. Cleaning dorms, showers and toilets was part of the night job. Besides the very interesting situations, it was an eye-opener. From that time I realized that (in average) women are a lot dirtier than men. Although during the years I've seen a lot of disgusting examples with men and women when it comes to sanitary. I've met women that like to shit together with their cat on the toilet (at the same time). Everyone has their fetish I guess. At one of my former office jobs, my direct colleagues always asked me why I was eating from my own bowl of nuts and chips every Friday Afternoon Drink...
"Well, when I am at the men's toilet, I hardly see anyone washing their hands after holding their weener and spraying the walls."
The next week more colleagues started to eat from their own private bag of chips.
Hahaha, it is very true. Men can be awful at washing their hands. When we didn't have individual cubicles and we all washed at the sinks you could see some people come in and go without stopping to wash and it was fetid. I feel bad when hotdesking now and having to use a keyboard that is shared among many manky people!. Yuk.
I think one option is the way to go for sure. Three is mental!
I think you handled that smoothly. You raised the two biggest issues in a funny way. I initially thought that there were 10 stalls in a room, but after reading some of your replies in the comments, it was ten individual rooms. I don't want to imagine the smell of the room if it was those 10 stalls setup haha.
If it was ten stalls in a room I think I would be joining the objectors!! :OD
Haha. I wonder why your company didn't just give 2 rooms for men, 2 rooms for women, and the rest for unisex? This can help appease those who don't want to use the shared rooms.
Tbey could have. I think they just thought that they made the rules and we better obey or else!
It would be better if not transparent and keep the smell inside 😄
CAn you imagine a glass cubicle to toilet in, YEEK! :OD
Sounds like quite the important meeting ;<)
This made me laugh!
Did you make up the word HairWolf?
and does the thing only appear at full 'moon'? ;<)
I did indeed make up HairWolf!! I was thinking about undercarriage and then I thought of something hovering over and my mind leapt to AirWolf, the awesome eighties TV show and it was a breeze to slip an H in there!
Appearing only at full moon would be even funnier :OD
Hahaha! I didn't even think of Airwolf ( just before my time ) but that makes it even funnier!
You have to check it out if only for the theme tune! The show was typical eighties twoddle but the sound effects and theme tune live on forever!
I definitely heard of it but havent' seen it, back in the days ( I think ). Btw, I was born in 1981 but we only got cable TV, at home in 1993! My parents were late with Internet too, until I decided to buy a modem myself.
Just checked the intro of Airwolf and I gotta say I love the retro sound and look of it! I have a weakness for this kind of synth 80s stuff!
It's synth retrotastic!!!
Lol, born in 81, not so much younger!! 😀😀
Are they all in a single bathroom or are these 10 individual bathrooms with locked doors? I dislike unisex ones in the workplace a lot of the time but in a busy office if they are single stalls with a door lock that’s good. If it’s one big bathroom with stalls and you can hear the cute blonde pinching off a brown knuckle while Jefe has the Hershey squirts and you’re stuck between them in your own stall.. then yeah that’s fucked. I hate bathrooms that aren’t individual stalls that you're able to lock the door and have a sink to yourself before the next person can use it but that’s me.
My grandfather could take a shit in the middle of the field at the super bowl with a stadium of 200,000 people and not give a fuck lol he was an animal
Lol, yeah I dont like the communal stall type thing as you get to hear everything and someone is always grunting!
Individual little rooms in a sort of long corridor affair. Its quite jazzy. People should be more like your grandad!
There should have been more action after that, man. Maybe you should go into the toilet, knock on the doors of the occupied ones and run away.
That would be quite funny, they are all in a long corridor so it would be easy! :O)
Do it and let us know what happened hahaha
Lol, nothing would happen as I would run like the flash and never be caught! 😀😀
Did HR mandate unisex urinals?
Dunno who decided. Probably the builders for a laugh 😀
Shared shitters? you are shitting me (oops, sorry, I couldn't help myself 😄). The best we get is complaints that the bogs are filled with shit and not cleaned enough!
We have the very same complaints! At least now we can officially blame the ladies!!!! :OD
🤣
They way you describe people at work I picture everyone looking like they grew up on a nuclear fallout site. Lots of strange deformities and such.
Haha, that's how they look in my head. Every little thing amplified!! 😀😀
hahahaha nice blancmange reference!! lol I can see how unisex restrooms/washrooms could cause a stir, more so here in the States, than I would think in other countries. I thought unisex restrooms had long been a thing in the UK and Europe? but I could have been mistaken. Or maybe those were just like public ones on the streets and not in offices.
I love using food or animals to relate to life. It makes things so much more easy!
They are a big thing in public places here like restaurants, cafes and public buildings so I didnt think it would cause any fuss. But boy, I was wrong! :OD
Yeah, food and animals are relatable! Interesting! Has not caught on here in the States and doubt it ever will, haha.
It might not although one day it will be the standard!!!
I wouldn't be surprised!
Funny, I had a dream last night that I walked into a public restroom and it was a bunch of lawn chairs and hoses. You had to actually UNFOLD the lawn chair WITH YOUR OWN HANDS and sit on it WITH YOUR BARE ASS to pee. (I mean pish, excuse me.) In front of everyone. It was set up like we were expecting a wedding, not a wetting. Some chic handed me a hose while I was peeing to wash it down the drain.
My feet were all wet.
I guess if the toilets at work were like that, I would have some complaints about it being co-ed.
I think I wouldnt be the happiest with that kind of toilet!!
Wow, that is an intense weird dream. But what did it mean, such depths to plumb!! :OD
🤣
For the record, I would like to say OH HELL NO !
😄
Bathrooms are for more than just using the toilet, especially in the woman's world. No way a woman should have to be concerned if a man might come in at any moment.
I guess the company saved a lot of money on that bad idea. Ugh !
(after I posted my comment and read some of the others and maybe I am not picturing it the way it really is.)
Hehe, they are all separate little rooms with mirrors and toilets and washbasins. I think they all even have those special bins for those bloodied sports sock things. 🤣🤣
S'all good baby!! 🙂
If they're private, what's the problem? I get it if they're semi private stalls. But a small, lockable room doesn't seem like a big deal 😂 People don't demand a gender based toilet when visiting private homes, after all
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
Man they are totally private little rooms of their own, I don't get the fuss.
Apart from the fuss of older people fussing about change because they hate change!!
Honestly they are the perfect solution. Since anyone in the office can use the room, fewer are needed, so they can be private. Who cares which gender used it before you, as long as they clean up afterwards. And if they don't, who cares what gender left said mess 😂
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I am hoping for the ckleanliness to be a thing. I dont want it to be like our last place which was a fetid swamp of a toilet!
Swamps are never pleasant to step into 🤣
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But some swamps you have to! :OD
I think the magic of sharing the unisex bathroom if it is established in the HR policies is to be able to share it without leaving any person behind within the company.
It is very important to look at each other as equals, I have rarely used them, but I have no problems about it, in this era of feminism Moderna woman who has to be free, make her own decisions and not subordinate to man.
Absolutely. In the end a toilet is just a toilet and really they are all little individual toilets. It's not as if we have to share anything at the same time! 😀😀
Haha of course not...together but not scrambled...😆
Lolm thankfully!
I cackled at the part of Barky being perhaps hopeful that someone tried to force their way into the cubicle. I mean, that would not be the best thing that has happened to him or anything.😆
Haha, defo the best and most exciting thing probably to happen in her life! :OD
Hahaha
Toilet humors are so much fun
Nice one!
Toilet humour for the win!
Toilet humor and nob cheese, all the hallmarks of humor. Nice one mate
Someone has to keep the dream alive :OD
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Hope you been good man, i been away but not too far ya know. Maybe a bit of a comeback, trying to at least. Time for another post from you too my bro.
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