Expectations and illusions for the future... It's what drives us forward a lot of the time, and yet something we have to be careful with unless we make our minds the home of endless anxiety.
Today I'm going to write about some of my expectations as that's what I'm mostly thinking about and can't get any sleep right now. I'm soon leaving my forest home to travel, so i have many ideas of what i want to do, and my mind is active in imagination about how the scenarios will play out.
At first i was planning on just traveling north, with no particular destination in mind... Only north, towards the heat. But now I've been provided with a potential destination that is located in the border of Argentina, Brasil, and Uruguay, since it turns out some friends have their house there and would be willing to receive me.
The truth is i feel a lot of excitement about going there. One of these friends is also into permaculture and I'm guessing it won't be hard to find other people who are doing their best to live in abundance and regeneration there. The idea of working with communities, in a place with better temperature and much higher diversity of foods that can be grown is extremely appealing.
So far I've had some really good moments in this place of the world but there's just some things that don't seem to be changing any time soon, like the cold and shortage of sunlight, as well as the social monotony that characterizes it. This scenario means that every day is a big struggle to find motivation and I'm a bit tired of fighting so much.
After so much time in which there was nothing exciting to look forward to, but rather just infinite obstacles to sort out, it feels very refreshing to have expectations once again. I realize that all this reading about spirituality and how we should be always present has really torn away excitement from my life, it has become quite the twisted game where I'm just trying to be "perfect" all the time, and failing at it, with many guilt trips because of it. Maybe dreaming about the future is not such a bad thing after all, maybe hope has a big place in a fulfilling life.
Of course, it's soon to assume conclusions, if being present is considered a wise choice it's because expectations often lead to disappointment. But also, a lack of dreams leads to a dull emotional experience. So i guess, as always, balance is the key. Enough hope to be excited about it, enough presence to actually enjoy what you have in front of you, and hopefully, enough looking into the past to avoid repeating what felt as a mistake.
Funny that we write both a post about being 'perfect' without knowing it. Maybe you have more twins in the family 😜
Should I be glad or worries that there's more like me out there?
Haha!
Perfectionism is the bane of creatives
I suppose it's a good thing as it keeps improving but let's not forget to enjoy things as they are
Indeed. It took quite some time to figure that out. I was probably too busy with making things feel perfect :)
Haha!
This is a fenn though and not a vin ;<)
I spent a good while with the suspicion that you were both the same vin
Really? Did we never share a picture of the two of us? 🤔
I am loosing my sharpness 🙈
must be your glasses...
Yes, they are not perfect :)
A lot I can relate to here, eventhough in my case the socializing often feels a bit too intense, these days, and I will crash, over and over again, afterwards. It sure teaches me to set boundaries.
I'm sure the traveling and time spent with friends and like minded people will do you good. When do you plan to leave?
Tell me about it hahah, I'm always trying to work through my social awkwardness and how draining interactions feel but I'm still a long way
On my last post I talked about something that probably has relation with this, maybe you want to read it... Or even better watch the anime I talk about there, it's a very deep piece of art
The plan is to leave this coming week but now a new volunteer has reached out, so I'll be receiving him and probably part after he leaves
You've been curated by @plantpoweronhive! Delegations welcome!