Behavior happens in cycles.
In some ways, groups of people are better thought of as an interconnected emotive ecosystem than disparate, interacting particles. A deeply emotional, mostly subconscious brain made of neurons (individuals) that are themselves black boxes.
The only time you know what's in that box is when the neuron fires.
The result, mostly, is banal communication or pleasant, if common, interactions. But every so often, due to miscommunication (misfire) or lack of communication, a neuron will fire something totally unexpected.
This is fine when what is 'fired' or communicated is pleasant or neutral. A friend comes out of the closet. Two close friends you didn't know were dating announce they're getting married. You discover someone you've known for a long time really looks up to and loves you more than you'd suspected.
But then there's the other times. The times when what is communicated is not-so-nice, or even ugly. When you discover someone has been holding a deep, dark, grudge for a long time. Or they're jealous of you. Or suspicious of you. Or all three.
At that time, you may realize that someone you thought you knew and were on the same page with is living in a different reality than yours.
It can be a hard thing to face.
But after the initial reeling you'll realize something. Life is short and there are only so many relationships you can maintain. If someone reveals themselves as being unworthy to be in your life - they've done you a favor. Because whatever space they gave up, however small or large, it is now free for a real relationship/friendship/etc.
And now your judgment is going to be a lot better when you pick that next person. So never let such interactions reduce you to sadness, fear, anger, or anxiety. Instead, let them bring you once again to a place of gratefulness.
And for most of us (certainly everyone reading this), there's a lot to be grateful for. A wonderful, supportive girlfriend, for example. Or an awesome beast of a top-of-the-line computer.
Almost every interaction in our lives can be digested for our benefit, if only we'll take the time to do so and refuse to stay in mental states that are destructive (or at least refuse staying in them for long). This we must remember in our darkest times.
Thanks for listening.
I'm grateful.
