“Skating is life…”
“Skate or die 🤘🏽⛓🩸🖤”
“Some other corny skateboarding quote”
Except… I can’t skateboard.
Instead, I longboard!
What is longboarding, you ask? Basically, it’s for those of you who are otherwise really bad at skating. And all skateboarders hate you.
And what is a longboard?
It’s like if you took a skateboard and went…. Nyoop
I wasn’t always a longboarder. Many years ago, I was but a simple rollerblader.
source
I learned a couple of things; how to spin, how to skate backward, how to do whatever this is:
That’s me on the left!
(yeah. Roller discos still exist. Get with the program)
But after some time, I found myself getting bored with rollerblading. What could be the next level?
Hardcore Extreme Dirt Biking of course.
But because I value my life, I ended up buying my friend’s longboard instead for the low low price of free.
(It actually cost me a milkshake and a high five but... minor details, minor details.)
(This was how I held it before I was swiftly informed that holding it by the truck is for noobs)
I found a YouTube video for ten basic tricks for longboarders. And when I told all my friends that I was learning, their response was always the same.
“You can do tricks on a longboard?”
Yes. eyeroll
Well I mean, I can’t, but someone would be able to if they had the ability, yes of course.
I decided to start with the first two: the Ghostride and the Pivot
If you watched the video, or at least the first two minutes, they look simple enough, right? A person with my superior balance and grace would have no problem acing it.
So I got on the road, hoping not too many cars would be out, and tested them out.
But. Do you know that saying “easier said than done”? Yeah…
It took quite a while before I was even partially able to get the first trick done. Hopping off was easy enough. Taking a step or two? Or fifteen? A bit harder because I had to kick my board forward so it was traveling with me AS I hopped off. But ok we finally got that down.
BUT JUMPING BACK ON THE MOVING BOARD?
Imposibil.
That’s Romanian for “Nope can’t do it.”
I tried for several minutes before hearing a voice call out to me. I looked across the street and saw one of my coworkers waving at me.
“Oh, hi,” I shouted, “I was just trying tricks on my longboard.”
“Yeah, I was watching you before. Do you know how to longboard or not yet?”
“Yeah I do,” I responded.
Following that, the silence that hung in the air made me realize his unspoken words which were: Oh cuz it doesn’t look like it.
After an uncomfortable (and admittedly minorly offensive) pause, he informed me, “Well you should probably be able to cruise with one foot comfortably before you start learning tricks. Can you do that?”
“Probably, but not with you watching”
And with that, he nodded and walked off.
So I tested it out. And I could. Like a freaking champ
Given that I had mastered this ability with flawless finesse, it was time to work some more on the tricks with newfound confidence!
Anyway, I shattered my phone and nearly broke myself so...
Can’t wait to go back out tomorrow.
🎶all giiifs were created by mee🎶
oh oh ... I could almost bet that someone would not be happy with you breaking yourself.
no one found out til after i was home safe 🤫😉
don't worry I like the attention hahaha
jk jk..... or am i
Methinks truth came out first. And… you can try.. pot meet kettle…from a safe distance
i saw the phone - and i was like WHAT THE HELL!!! HOW HARD DID YOU FALL!!!
and she was like - but look i'm ok!!!!
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she will be the death of me.
dangergirl!!!! the boys never made me this crazy - they are safe!
not her!!!
she's looking for danger. sheesh. Lord, help me.
thought that might have been your response ... but... keep in mind dear one... the apple didn't fall far from the tree
her father is the wild one!!!!
LOL and clumsy as an ox! ughhhhhh they will BOTH be the death of me
rememeber he did a Superman off the handlebars flying down the mountain??? ughhhhh. now he's my ironman (about 7 screws in his collarbone and huge metal plates)
I see.. so she has her father wild streak and your stubborn streak... Gawd help the poor woman.
In the family shot that you did at Yosemite I was struck at how much like her dad Remy looked while your son looked at lot like you. Interesting she also has some of his wild ways.
hahahahahahahahaha i laughed so hard... and can hear you while i'm reading this.
oh maybe cuz.. you're right beside me and i'm .. nevermind.
my baby is a longboarder!!! yayyyy don't listen to the awkward silences!!!! you are a longboarder.
cuz you have it. and i say hold it by those trucks and things. cuz that makes SENSE. be a trendsetter... set the NEW trends. reverse those noobie rules. you make your own cool noob rules. coobies.
hm. ok - well work on the name - but you do you, baby girl!!!
ok @dandays. hehehe come read your new favorite blogger :) she is my daughterrrrrrrrr and so funny hehehe
not as funny as me - but SUUUUUUUPER CLOSE!!!
dang straight i am. he didn't even know what he was talking about.
i am funnier than you I just choose to repress it. humanity can't take it.
awkward silence
um... sure you are!!!!! 😅 yes baby!!! you are anything you want to be!!
Ok but only cuz you said so. I don't have children for a reason.
Then how come you do dad jokes if you don't have kids.. huh??? HUH!!?!
You're way too young to think about valuing your life. Now go ride dirt bikes full throttle without a helmet.
My guy
You are speaking my LANGUAGE
Along those lines did you know that you don't need a parachute to skydive??
you just need it to do it twice...
Another elimination to consider when skydiving is an upside helicopter.
i'm so sorry that my daughter ignored your joke. LOLOLOL she is kinda like ... not so hive-centric as we.
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