From exchanging words to exchanging blows, and then to carrying sharp objects ready for fights between siblings. Before I continue, I will love to tell you that this is a true-life story that I witnessed firsthand in my neighborhood some years ago.
Sibling rivalry is common in families, but at different levels of severity! I was taught that a family is a group of people related by blood. I also know the saying that blood is thicker than water. Also, I have read several times that family is known for togetherness, and there's a strong bond that usually unites family members together, and this bond always promotes love among siblings, giving them a sense of acceptance and encouragement for one another. But then, the reverse is the case for some families, and then I began to ask myself, "What went wrong? Could it be because of the parenting style? Or are the children unaware of the right way to relate with siblings and even be the shoulder to which they should lean? And protect each other's nakedness when the need be? Why the unnecessary, unhealthy competition among siblings in some families?
Back to the story of siblings rivalry...A man named Thomas had seven children, four boys and three girls. Out of those children, he seems to love his second son, his third son, and his first daughter far more than he did for his other children. It was very obvious, to the point that we, the neighbors, noticed it due to the constant fighting among the siblings and the kind of words they use when a fight begins. The worst part is how their Dad supports his favorite children even when they do something bad to one of their siblings. I think the favorite kids confidently step on the toes of the rest of the of the siblings because they are sure of their parents support and are taking sides as usual. There's no atom of fairness on the part of their parents when resolving conflicts. This made us, the children, develop hatred among ourselves.
Fast-forward to the time the older son gained admission to the university. The father told him that he had no money to sponsor him and that he should go and learn a business instead. The young guy refused and somehow found a helper who did his registration in school, but he later joined the cultists, had problems, and couldn't graduate from the university. The second and third sons were sponsored by their Dad. They always brag and prove how spoilt they have been; their dad obviously gives them more than enough money to lavish in school, and at a time, both of them started carrying women into their father's house. The first son was dissatisfied with their actions and would always quarrel with them. The dad and the mom see everything without saying a word. I saw how the love they have for the boys covers a multitude of their bad behaviors. The last son looks so calm. Even though the father doesn't care about him, he pushes a barrow, carrying people's loads for money, and at one point, he saved some money and bought a jamb form for himself.
The girls weren't much of the problem in this rivalry, but the boys were.
So that faithful day, with noises, name-calling, and the exchange of blows, it happened that their dad came home with his business documents and asked only his two favorite sons to sign them. Because of how rowdy the environment was that day, I didn't get to understand the details of the document, but it's something to benefit only those two favorite kids. Hell was let loose, and both the calm son and the first son started cursing their dad and fighting each other. The second son was shouting, I am a soon-to-be barrister; do you know who I am? With a sharp knife, hmmm, The third son was also shouting and bragging about his course of study, which intimidated the first son. It was a real family fight, but after some hours, there was calmness amidst the rage. Neighbors tried sorting out the issue, but the dad couldn't stop crying.
He confessed to being the cause of the broken bond in the family. He kept regretting and kept pleading with his children to make peace with each other, but their temperament was on top of the roof. The next thing I noticed was the visit of a Rev. Father in their home for peace and family prayers. Everything started taking on a new shape right from that day, and the fight seized among those adults and siblings. You could see them doing things together, as siblings should do.
I wouldn't say that my siblings and I have never experienced rivalry, especially during our childhood, but it was just a minor case. It's a concern when adults and siblings engage in unhealthy competition or resentment here and there, especially when the parents are the cause. It becomes important that parents become more sensitive while bringing up their children in order to curtail rivalry to a large extent.
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #mayinleo monthly topic Day 6.Please check out the announcement post to get involved.
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Thanks for reading ❤️❤️❤️
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So sad, such a strong family unit they could have begun. In my grandparents time when my parents had a long list of siblings, the eldest 2 or 3 were the ones who got most attention too. However they in turn had to take care of their younger siblings. They were almost delegated dad or delegated mom for the young ones.
Another story i heard of my maternal grandfather. My elder uncle was hitting my younger uncle because of something that the younger uncle did. Just kids and playing around. My grandfather caught the elder one and gave him a slap to make him stop. Now this was not a kid slap so it stung him a lot.
Then he took him to a coconut tree next to the house. He told my both my uncles as well as my mother and my aunt, "You have no right to raise a hand on your siblings. You are all my creation and only your mother or I have the right to punish you. If you are so frustrated with your brother or sister and want to throw a punch come here to this tree and punch the trunk as many times as you want to."
My mother told me this story when I was little, with a strict admonition of every fighting my sister physically. I think my grandfather should have visited your neighbours house.
Cheers from a fellow #dreemerforlife
Hmmmm
Different family with different levels of rivalry. Thanks for bringing up this story..my fellow dreemer 😍
Favouritism by parents has damaged many homes and caused rivalries amidst siblings. Parents needs to be fair and balance in raising and nurturing their wards as no two child is the same. That's why parenting is a course that must be learnt and handled well by the parents. May love and unity abound more in our homes.🙏
Thanks for this post ma, it's a great one.
Nicely said, sometimes the role of parents can save the day in some of these family issues
Thanks for your time in reading through
Thanks for the curation
The rivalry between siblings is interesting within a limit but crossing limits it's very dangerous and harmful. I think their dad is reasonable for everything.
To be honest those people don't deserve to be parents who do partiality among children. How they can do it? And those parents end up suffering a lot in their ending time.
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It's always a concern when it crosses limits
Some parents needs training indeed...such a careless actions!
That's the fruit parents reap when they decide to love one child more than the other, I mean they can actually love one more without showing or throwing at the face of the others that "this my son is the best" everyone is a jealous being, and
what really happened is terrible I pray they learn from their mistake and move on to being a perfect family where the love can be equal if not equal it shouldn't be thrown at the face of the others.
Throwing it at the faces of others was what got me tiring. I know they are uneducated but c'mon
This is just a common sense
Well..it's all in the past now
Thanks for reading
yeah glad it is the past now
This right here can be disturbing,favoritism among children has brought about chaos and friction in many homes.
#dreemerforlife
You can say that again... unfortunately, some parents are yet to see the negative effect of such action
The parents spoiled the family from the start. A home can not be full of love if parents love some child/children more than others. Even though there's no problem during the time of the parents, a fight is sure to burst out one day between them, when the parents are gone
Nice one
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The fight may not only end among the siblings but extend to their kids
Yeah, that's another level to it👌
In some cases, parents are the reason why siblings hate each other. I remember my friend telling me how her mom always chose her older sister over her and kept telling her she would never amount to anything good in life.
It's so amazing how the whole family now depends on her, including her elder sister, who was the parent's favourite
Like seriously, how can a mum be telling her child such a word...that's crazy
Such is life
Honestly speaking. If only she knew the damage such words caused that child, she wouldn't have said them.
It's sad 😢