Motherhood for me is more challenging than it is rewarding. It’s like in the challenge is your reward.
While the relationship between mother and child starts off as a parasitic one, as the child is born, it gradually metamorphoses into a symbiotic relationship.
You’d find out that as your offspring grows, you grow as well, you learn more about you and become better if you are willing.
With my daughter I have learned tolerance, I have learned patience, I have learned what it means to be selfless, I have learned how to listen all of which sums up to love.
Before now, I did not get along with my baby because I failed to see her for what she actually is, an extension of me.
I find myself adopting this African style of parenting because that was what I was used to and trust me in the beginning I failed woefully at being a mom.
I got really frustrated because parenting is not just about feeding the child or enrolling them in school.
It's more about assisting them in the development of their thought process, which is what forms most of their character as they grow to become an adult.
You can’t really groom your child well without some level of understanding.
At the point I got truly frustrated, I reached out to an elderly friend how my child and I do not get along as I can’t cope with the character she’s putting up. So he asked me, what do I mean by that?
“Your child can’t just adopt a character from space, especially at this tender age. Whatever she’s exhibiting should either be from you, or her father.” As I contemplate on his words, I decided to pay close attention. I took my daughter as a course and was studying her.
I discovered whenever she gets stubborn, she just wants to be heard, she wants to be understood and also respected for her stance.
I didn’t know that for a baby, she possesses such level of intelligence, and that character trait is from me.
Not only that, but I am not one that likes to be forced to do anything, if you try to impose something on me to do, I will not do it. Likewise, I can only carry out your wishes when you politely ask and further explain to me the need for that thing to be done.
After this discovery, whatever I want my daughter to do, I appeal to her and ask her nicely. She does it immediately without a second thought.
Some months back, I noticed that she talks to herself, and I was disturbed, but then I had thought, if she talks to her, it shows she’s lonely.
It used to be just me and her after school, and then for a child who is highly opinionated like myself, she always wants to say something since she has no one to talk to.
Generally, I always get busy working online. With time, my daughter starts making up characters with the name of her classmates.
At first, I would scold her and ask her to stop talking to the characters she has formed with her classmate’s names she would, but then go right back to talking to herself again.
Then it hits me, “why don’t you be her listening ear?, I mean, she’s my first and primary responsibility, so what could be more important than keeping her company?” I had said to myself.
So I told her, “baby, if ever you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me.”
I saw her eyes lit as she excitedly said, “Ok, mommy”.
She started talking to me, and then I’d listen and contribute. I noticed she stopped talking to herself.
Fast-forward to one hot afternoon working from home, I was overwhelmed, and then she came to chitchat, I got irritated from all the work stress that I took it out on her and asked her to go away.
She gave me a teary face and said, “but mommy, you said I can talk to you.” I died a little inside because men! I never thought she took my words seriously. I drew her close and apologized, explaining to her how I’m just stressed from work.
Furthermore, I promised not to yell at her again as I asked her to go on with what she has to say, I’m listening.
With motherhood, I became a master of multitasking, I could be working online, and I’m being there simultaneously for my child.
With building a relationship with my child, I have learned how to keep my emotions in check, and it has helped me with anger management and how not to transfer aggression to people.
The knowledge that my child is learning from me and will become a reflection of me keeps me on my toes. It’s like I’m walking on eggshells and living in a glass house. I have to be careful else I end up creating a problem.
PS
ALL IMAGES ARE MINE
Children have a way of melting our hearts. They are alert and pick everything they hear and that's why it's always good to watch how we act and talk around them. Your daughter is a cute smart baby.
Indeed motherhood is challenging and takes a lot of patience to train children rightly. Children are cute and innocent and I enjoy their company.
Knowing that our children are reflection of us is a motivation to be better.
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That's right.
You're welcome dear.
Motherhood is the most challenging part of our life. Sometimes hard to balance everything. But I see you did yours properly.
The challenges never end Sist. Everyday new one is popping up and we can’t stop learning 😂
😁😁 requires a lot of patience.
Plenty of patience with the special grace of God 😂🤣
Children notice everything you do, always healthy to look back to when you were that age, think about it we normally have very similar behaviour, 'little me' is learning from Mom.
Happy you finding your way navigating life with your beautiful little girl !LUV
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Pleasure, we all battle in the beginning 😊
Hopefully to emerge victorious ❤️🤝
Always, and keep smiling.
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Awwwwwww Bipolar this was so beautiful and deep. How you made motherhood beautiful in your post is so heartwarming.
Thank you for sharing this amazing piece because I enjoyed every bit of it😘😘
PS: Is it okay to study this course (your baby) with you??😂
Awww I’m glad the reading was Worthwhile ❤️🌹
Please come o, come and study, Na only when e Dey belle e be my own 😅😂
Lol! I was like this too, I will talk to myself all day and that was because I had no one to talk, and my daughter too came from the same root😫😃
It's good that you gave her assurance that you can always talk to you when she feel like.
PS. She is so cute🥰
Awwww bless you dear ❤️🌹😘
It's amazing how you've learned to understand and connect with your daughter on a deeper level, leading to a stronger bond and smoother communication. Your willingness to adapt and learn from your experiences as a mother is commendable. Keep nurturing that beautiful relationship with your daughter, and continue to grow together.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words 🌹❤️😘
Thank you 🥰❤️😘
First of all, you have got a daughter that's just as pretty as her mother
For sure motherhood is challenging and of course very rewarding too but for those who are able to learn from the challenges
Thank you for the compliment 🥰. Motherhood is a journey that only the willingness to learn will be your saving grace.
Congratulations on embracing your evolving journey. We constantly change throughout our lives, but we've been conditioned to think that stops in adulthood. I told my daughters that I was doing the best I can, but that I was always willing to hear their opinions. They knew that life was ever-evolving, but that since I had lived more of it and was the parent, that my decision would be final. They also knew that they could point out when I had been wrong, as I would admit the same. I found that our openness made up incredibly close.
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It always does, giving them a chance to be heard and express themselves does the magic for improved communication, bonding and love. Plus, you are also doing great with your daughters, well done 🌹
Your daughter is really really pretty, I must say. It's good she found a safe space in you and was able to start talking to you. Who knows, she might have gone to the public and started talking to herself. Then, that'll attract the prying eyes of outsiders.
#dreemerforlife
Exactly why I told her to always talk to me because that would have been the next thing. And nobody would want that.
It socks when your kid does something you find very annoying, and then suddenly figure out he/she is just copying you 🤣
On a side note: how tall are you? You look fairly tall
😂🤣😂🤣 Like??? Do you get? Such discovery though 😂🤣. I am a 5’10 🙂
I haven't got an example just now, but I can let you know next time my 7 year old daughter does something that is a direct imitation of me 😆
The picture makes you look 6'0.
5'10 isn't a bad height though 👌🏼
Please, would be thrilled to hear what she does 😂.
People often think I’m a 6’0 but then get disappointed when I say 5’10.
My mother is always asking how tall are you and when I say 5’10… She will say, you are not even tall but I am taller than her 😂🤣😂.
Just not as tall as her mother who was a 6’0.
Jeeeez!
See as the baby girl looking exactly like you, photocopy 🥰.
You're really trying as a mother. It's a tough duty.
Those days at home when parents were still producing, only God knows how those little siblings had little little beatings from me😂
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Thank you for the compliment dear 🥰😌
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I get what you're saying. Unfortunately, they don't give a 'user manual' when you have a child, lol! Seeking counsel from someone who's walked the route before was an excellent thing to do.
I am glad things are better now. Thank you for sharing. Take care!
Thank you for stopping by 🥰😘
🤗💜 You're welcome!
You're doing great with your motherhood journey, Keep it up.
#dreemerforlife
Thank you dear 🥰
Hehehe...I enjoyed this post.
The truth is, children put up some characters either from the mother or father. Things are learnt while with children and as parents, they should observe them steadily just as you are doing. By doing this, they will understand what a child wants or not. Your daughter, obviously needed someone to always talk to and it's good you have created that time for her.
This surely helps them as they grow. Instead of going out where they could be influenced negatively, parents are there to support and help.
#dreemerforlife
Well said dear, thank you for stopping by 🙂
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It sounds really challenging but thank God you've figured out the best way to handle things. This is a sweet post.
Thank you dear 🌹