For some reason feeling compassion for oneself isn't the easiest thing to do while being hard on oneself never seems difficult at all and I believe is more readily applied by most of us. I'm not sure why that is however recall many times I've been hard on myself and it feeling right at the time only to feel, at some later point, that it was wrong; and yet I have found myself doing it again.
I work towards applying compassion, feeling compassion, for myself now, a product of getting a little older and wiser possibly, but at the same time never allow the compassion I allow myself, for myself, absolve my responsibility for my actions, responsibilities and attitudes.
I have been very hard and critical of myself at times and in the moment it felt justified however I look back now and see that it was just a form of low self-esteem and possibly self-hatred, maybe not in an overall sense, but certainly in that individual moment; and over time I came to understand the negativity that brought me and the way it held my life back. I was quite fortunate to have amazing influences around me though, my parents and then my partner, who supported me and I soon came to understand that through the lack of compassion I permitted myself and the subsequent emotions I was not able to respond to my life in the right ways, balanced and with the clarity I needed, to move in the directions I deserved and wanted.
I was young when I learned that or, at least, when I started to see the way a lack of self-compassion was affecting my life negatively, holding me back, and I am so grateful that I was able to see and rectify it which has led me to live what I feel has been an enjoyable, balanced and happy life....and there's still much more to go.
Forgiving yourself (so-to-speak) doesn't always come natural when we feel we are imperfect, something every human is....imperfect. I believe as you say, sometimes the longer we live, the better our perspectives become as we have lived through more experiences and learned so much that we couldn't see from our youth.
I'm glad you have been able to grow and become happier. THAT is always a good thing. :)
I can't speak for the entire history of mankind, I'm not that old, however I think it's more prevalent now, people being so unkind to themselves, possibly because the image mainstream and social media portray of life and what "it is supposed to look like" which I believe to be quite skewed and rather terrible.
I see so much evidence of this around me, in the real world because I don't use social media, and so many people, girls and guys both, who succumb to the pressure and false sense of reality that bombards them which leads to the sense that they are not worthy, insignificant or irrelevant and subsequently dictates how and what they do. It doesn't bring happiness though, no clarity or balance.
Becca 🌷
I hope how I worded my comment didn't sound like I was saying you were old ! I AM old and I am happy to still be here. I suppose how I was thinking on it is the views I had even at 20 were much different than when I was 30 and the views I had when I was 30 were much different than when I was 40..... in the "live and learn" kind of way.
I do understand what you are saying though about the social media thing and it's affect on some of the younger generations who have never known a time without it. I suppose it has much more of a reality factor to it then it does to someone like me who was only exposed starting midlife.
No not at all, I didn't think you were indicating that at all.
I have found the same as I've progressed and gotten older, things change just as you mention and views, tastes in music, movies, foods, art and other general interests too; I suppose we just keep developing.
Becca 🌷
I have also been very self-critical of myself and have pushed myself to the limit and therefore been very hard on myself. I had a lot of demands from my mother and grandmother when I was a child and I followed the same steps and applied them on myself.
Time, as it happened to you, taught me that I should understand myself and not be so hard on myself, take care of myself more and have compassion for myself, although it is not an easy task.
Hugs Becca❤️
There's a time to be critical and to judge oneself honestly, however it needs to be for the right reasons and handled in the right way otherwise it can be destructive and have long-term implications.
Becca 🌷
At one time I was destructive to myself, but now I balance it and that's the important thing, to have learned.
Thank you Becca.❤️
People have frequently said that "we are our own worst critic". Maybe it's because we know ourselves best, that we know we can do better. If we are lazy or stubborn, we know it. Being harsh during those times can be acceptable. But when it comes to things that we have no control over, then we should learn to give ourselves a break. We are easy to find fault in ourselves, but don't give enough credit. Balance is key.
I agree and also think that some people give themselves too much credit; ego isn't very productive for a person and I find it repellant.
Becca 🌷
Negativity sometimes clouds our minds and judgement that we think we are doing the best we could do at that moment even when we could have done more and become a better version of ourselves.
This is true.
Becca 🌷